A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, Can someone answer me shy is life so shitty. I've constantly had to fight for things, left school at 15, due to parents divorce, made homeless 17 due to parents. Spent years going through different rooms in sheltered accommodation, living on dole. Finally try to get life together all my own and enrolled at college to do course to go to uni. Aged 23 finally go to uni, with no support! Live with lovely people meet, feel normal finally. All friends and family like brother get given council flat and loads benefits. I try hard to do good and get nothing! So graduate with good degree at 25 no where to live again, fall for married man who stupidly believed would leave wife (3 years later turned out did only for someone else all along not me) get job in PR. I'm 27 by now and earning shit money etc and living in another shared house with strangers. Reach 29 and despite working arse off for 3 years don't get one pay rise and on what a teenager gets. Less then 20k in London as head of lifestyle. Find out the girl who works under me I'm her boss and is younger is on 10 k more. Leave job decide to come teacher. Begin pgce! Split with guy was seeing for years, not married but lovely one as he meets someone else! Move 300 miles away to do pgce, cone back last week as second placement in hometown and still trying to fight for things! Like homeless again, looking for place again 14 place in 12 years.... Not enjoying teaching or pgce, too much work find it too much and am brushing it all under carpet. Think didn't really want to teach but was going no where in job! Single, got no man interested in me haven't had for months, despite being considered typically pretty! 30 next week and all friends settled in houses own, careers, partnerships. I've got same stress had when 17, no money, don't enjoy what I'm doing. No where to live (crashing on mates sofa, which is hard to do on pgce) no man, no one at all. I just can't keep doing this, I thought that 14 years from start of all the shit in my life it would end! But no, same shit! Only past it now! So, single, broke, in career I can't do! Homless! Hopeless! What I want to know is why is my life so crappy, why has it always been like that for me, always unsettled and a fight Thanks xx
View related questions:
divorce, married man, money, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2011): Hi
Tough hey! but you are strong ...proven becase you tell the tale...it may even get worse..but you'll carry on...surviving....people like you don't quit...''to be a rock and not to roll'' stairway to heaven i believe.
Always unsettled.....is that a bad thing?..stagnent and not moving is pretty boring and takes us nowhere. Keep going but do it with laughter and a smile...turn it into gold....life ain't that bad and no one said it was meant to be easy, or did they?
Well done you beat the odds...that's a good start...some start the moment they are born ...count your blessings and good luck.
spunky monkey.:)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2011): Firstly you need to realise that you are a very strong character. Most people wouldn't have made it this far with the struggle that you've endured in life.
There is no rhyme or reason as to why people are dealt the hand they get, but it's all about what you do with it.
When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.
You are focusing on all the negatives that you see in your life. What about trying to focus on all the positives.
Take those positives to reassure yourself that by making small steps each day towards something substantial is going to move you in a direction more secure and fulfilling.
When a person focuses on negatives all the time, they exude a negative vibe, which in turn attracts more negativity, including, careers, friends, relationships and the list goes on.
Trying to learn to focus on positives will allow you to exude more confident and positives vibes which in turn attracts more positive people. This then puts you in MORE positive and healthy situations and the chances of you achieving a more rewarding career is more likely. The chances of you achieving a more rewarding relationship is more likely.
Set standards and goals. Work hard each day at achieving them. Don't settle for anything less. Uphold your self worth because you are worth it. You're a tremendous person and you do deserve good things.
You CAN do it. Just read your own question. I have no doubt you will be happy. It all starts with seeing the glass half full, appreciating what you DO have and not what you DON'T and exuding those positives to attract more!
Good Luck Honey
...............................
A
male
reader, Wheeler  +, writes (15 February 2011):
 I understand the feeling.
Life really does seem unfair sometimes.
But, I can tell you that having a hard life will make you a stronger person, every day that passes.
When your break does come, you will appreciate it that much more. If you are a good person, and you keep trying, and you keep believing in the opportunities that come your way, you will have your chance. Just make sure you are always ready.
Three years ago I was in the exact same spot. I was 27, had been a bartender, construction worker, campaign staff member, intern (in political capacities), retail manager, musician, and computer networking assistant (for my brother who owns a networking company). I was one semester away from getting a degree. I had tried so many things, gotten close to so many opportunities, done so many things well.
Then as soon as I had a job I liked, and seemed to be making some progress, then Hurricane Katrina hit. I lost everything except my car. My apartment and everything I possessed, my pictures and personal items, my job, my circle of friends, and my routine (favorite bars, restaurants, swimming spots, the casino, everything.
And there I was, a few years later, having finally gotten back on my feet. But I was still just renting an apartment, driving an old car, looking for friends that were worthwhile. Looking for a significant other. Although I have to say I had gotten to the point that I was not really looking, because I didn't seem to be finding anybody that worked out.
And one day, I called an old bar fly friend to tell him we should get a beer sometime, and he asked me what I was doing for work.
Long story short, the next day I took a train to his city, and finally started a great job learning the medical equipment field. I worked for months, living in a city where I knew no one, and did nothing for fun. I was hoping the hard work would pay off for me.
Then the guy asked me to go in on an investment. And I took all the necessary precautions in doing it. After all, I worked with him every day.
And he took every dime I had, and eventually stopped answering my phone calls. I returned home without a dime, rent owed, and no job. A few days later, I went, with a little money from my dad ($27), and printed up business cards. And I started doing the same thing on my own. Without any money, I had a contact call me and ask me to sell some equipment for them. I made $9000,00.00 in six days. And never looked back.
And so now I am fortunate to have my own business for three years now, and although I am happy and have found some stability, I am still often discouraged to have so few true friends, or a woman to share my day with. But there will ALWAYS be obstacles and things in your life that cause sadness.
Just know that as long as you are still trying, and still doing your best to be a great person, you are doing all that you can. You don't know when you are going to get the opportunity you have been waiting for, but it will come.
Appreciate what you do have, even if it is just health and a great cat. Even the rich and married can have (and some would say often have) an empty life, and be searching daily for something to make life worth living.
You will get your opportunity, just keep doing your part and trying.
...............................
A
male
reader, nononsense +, writes (15 February 2011):
Listen pretty one. You are smart, educated, and extremely wise thanks to the hell you've been through. You've made your mistakes. Learn from them and move forward. Take baby steps one day at at time. You will be successful, you can do it!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (15 February 2011):
 My god, you have been through so much!! I commend you for never giving up though. Unfortunately some people just get the bum deal in life, but that doesn't mean it has to stay that way.
You are in control of your own future and you can do whatever you want with it. You must have some cracking friends around you to put you up on the sofa, no it's not ideal, but make sure they know how much you appreciate what they have done for you.
I think it would be wise to go and see a careers adviser. I'm at a stage in my life where i have no idea what it is i want to do, so i will be going to see and adviser, tell them exactly what qualifications i have, and see what directions i could go in.
This time last year, i had a decent job that paid well, i had a man in my life and i was pretty much happy and settled, and within 12 months, i'm now a cleaner, i'm broke and i'm single. Shit happens, so get out there and change things for the better!!!
Do you not have any aunts/uncles/cousins/siblings you could ask for guidance? Even your parents (if you still speak to them) maybe?
You said you have put up with 14 years of crap, so do something about it! Make those first steps. If you hate your PGCE so much, then drop it, and do something you really want to do. If all else fails (and this is one of my back up options) have a look at the skilled occupations list for Australia. There are literally hundreds of jobs out there that Australia need people to do, why not train for one of those, so you can leave all the bad stuff and start a fresh??
You are a trooper, make the next 10 years the best ever!!! Good luck, you deserve some happiness!
...............................
|
