A
female
age
26-29,
*melia-jaye
writes:My boyfriend and I have planned to have sex within the next month or so. But we desided that we weren't going to do it untill I had got the implant, but I need to talk to my Mom about talking me to get a implant in the first place.. but I don't know how to go about asking talking to her about it.. Any advice would be helpful, Thankyouuu (: Reply to this Question
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female
reader, WowJustWow  +, writes (15 February 2011):
The fact that you are considering asking your mom to take you for birth control suggests that you have a good relationship with her. It is a very adult conversation about a very adult choice. If you're not ready to have that conversation with her, then you may not be ready for sex.But, this is not a decision that anyone else can make for you. Not your mom, not your doctor, not your friends, not your boyfriend. You, and you alone should be the one to make this decision.You are clearly a responsible young woman, as you understand that sex is something that you plan for and that birth control is part of making those plans. Since you are thinking it through, ask yourself this question: If I sleep with my boyfriend and then he breaks up with me the next day, or in a few weeks, how will I feel about my choice?Be completely honest with yourself. Will you feel used? Will you like yourself less? Will you regret your decision?If you answer yes to any of these questions, then it may be better to wait to have sex.If your boyfriend breaks up with you because you say no, then you will know he wasn't with you for you, but for sex. And then you won't have any regrets.And if you do decide to go ahead and have sex with your boyfriend, then please, please, please wear a condom, even if you are using other birth control methods. There is no age where you are safe from STIs. Even if you are each other's firsts, it is a good habit to get into, and one you should never compromise.Unprotected sex does not feel better if you spend the next four months wondering if you've contracted a fatal disease, or get pregnant.Whatever decision you make, be sure that it is YOUR decision. Know your values and your boundaries and stick to them. You will never regret being true to yourself. It may not be the easy choice, but it will always be the right choice for you.And if you do decide to have sex, make sure it is pleasurable for you and not just for him. If he truly loves you, then he will take the time to learn to make you feel good. If you are feeling rushed, or if you don't feel comfortable, you have the right to stop whatever is happening and ask to slow down. Someone who loves you will want you to feel good about your choice.(and if you want to know, I waited until I was 20, and even then I regret my choice - when I did finally meet the right fellow about six months later, I had already lost my virginity to a complete lout).
A
male
reader, nononsense  +, writes (15 February 2011):
I was 17 and gave up a college scholarship for the love of my life. Needless to say, she wasn't the love of my life and I found the love of my life 14 years later. Trust me, right now it feels like the right thing to do. Tell your boyfriend you are going to wait one year. If he loves you, he will wait. If he doesn't say he will wait, then he is not worth it. Have faith in me, you will thank me in a few years if you wait.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (14 February 2011):
 First of all - in the UK, the legal age of consent is 16.
You are planning on breaking the law.
You are unable to give consent to sex, and ANY underage sex, oral, fingering, blow jobs, or penetration of ANY orifice (vagina, anus, mouth) would be classed as RAPE.
Secondly, ANY hormonal contraceptives take a while to kick in and for the body to get used to them. Its not like having an injection and it working the next day.
There are risks associated with anything like that. Your body may not like the implant - in which case you could suffer from all sorts of terrible side effects, depression, moodiness, sickness, stomach cramps, spotting (bleeding at odd times), headaches, spots, dizziness, weight gain, breast tenderness.
Then there is the issue it can be affected by taking other drugs - so if you have a cold and take some over the counter medicine the contraceptive might not work.
Because of all these side effects you have to have a checkup with the doctors to make sure you are healthy and can take these side effects. They will weigh you, take a medical history, blood pressure all that kind of thing, so that they know you are not putting yourself at risk.
All in all it is a serious business, and something you need to discuss with your Mum and a health professional, a Doctor, Nurse, or family planning specialist.
Having sex is a grown up adult thing. It is not a game. There are SERIOUS consequences, not only pregnancy (are you ready to become a mother) to sexually transmitted diseases.
If you cannot talk to your mother in a grown up fashion about sex, then you are not mature enough to be having sex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2011): You can't have the implant and can't go to the doctor on your own. You're below legal age of consent.
You have to be 16 to qualify for doctor patient confidentiality so that's out of the question. I'm not sure about the legality of getting the implant so young, seeing as it could be construed as the promotion of an illegal act by any doctor that put it in. I don't think it's legal.
Just talk to her about it, there's nothing to be afraid of, tell her you're ready to have sex but that you want to sort out some contraception first. You want to do it safely.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 February 2011):
 Ok well if you are not wanting to talk to your mother about it then you can go to the GP on your own in the UK and discuss it with them, they might be a bit reluctant to give it to you, but you can go and ask in confidence what your options are.
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