A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi, i just want to ask why i did'nt feel orgasm every time i had sex with my partner? my partner is good in sex i know it. he always ask me if im finished i said not yet,if i feel that he can no longer to wait for my orgasm, im just pretending and said.."im coming". but if i use masturbate i feel it, whats wrong with me? am i sick? i relly appreciate your answers. hope u can help thnks.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (10 May 2008):
 From a man's point of view, it is difficult and time-consuming to bring a woman to orgasm on a regular basis. Rarely can it occur with vaginal intercourse alone, and usually only after a good deal of foreplay and possibly oral-clitoral stimulation (cunnilingus) precedes the man's penile efforts. In simple words, a brief session of vaginal intercourse alone just does not satisfy most women.
Such is possibly the issue in your case as is true for a majority of women. The solution is to educate your man to better understand the methods to stimulate female orgasm if he is willing, and much information is available on this Web site. Many of the suggestions by other advisors below is excellent - and additional information has been archived and available by investigating the search fields. Best wishes.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (9 May 2008):
 Hi, you're normal, you're in the 70% group that hlskitten described. You shouldn't have to pretend, I'm sure that he would rather you be happy and satisfied than you being worried and faking it.
If he's as considerate as he sounds, then he'll want to please you, so let him know that you like to have your clitoris stimulated so that you can reach orgasm. Show him what kind of touch you like and try it before, during or after intercourse. And try to stop worrying about it, because this will only get in the way of you letting go and enjoying it.
If you're both comfortable with it, oral sex can be good for both partners too! Also being on top as was previously posted can give both of you the room to stimulate your clitoris with his or your hand.
Go have fun, experiment and don't be too shy to let him know what feels good to you.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (9 May 2008):
 Hi
Stop pretending and start realising that most women (70%) dont orgasm through penetrative sex alone!
You are kidding yourself and your partner.
Its a shame a lot of guys rate their sexual 'prowess' on intercourse alone. Whatever happened to foreplay/oral???
C xxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2008): Honey this is just all natural, I don't think you're getting enough clitoral stimulation and this is why you are not orgasming. Have a bit more foreplay, or masturbate while he has sex wih you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2008): i had the same problem with my boyfriend for many many months. i could tell he started getting frustrated by a certain point and thought it was a reflection of him, even though it wasnt.
what worked for me was (and hopefully you have a determined partner) was find my g-spot several times so that i knew how it felt before and during and what sensations to look for. it took a while, i think the first time it took him like 40 min just to find the right spot but each time it became easier and easier.
after that, i could come closer while having sex but still couldnt do it. so what we did (and feel free to use this to your own discretion or disagree) is that both of us took a viagra. it made him bigger than normal and last longer, and for women, it just stimulate blood flow to the region. that was the first time i came. every time after that its become easier and easier and i can do it myself when i'm any position on top of him. not all the time, but its getting easier so i say at least for me, practice makes perfect.
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A
female
reader, :):):) +, writes (9 May 2008):
Its completely normal, most women find it easier to orgasm through clitoral stimulation not through sexual intercourse. Concentrate on this aspect and tell him what you like. Im sure he'll be understanding.
Good luck
xxx
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A
female
reader, genie88 +, writes (9 May 2008):
hey, you're no sick atall! i have been through the same problem. As a fact women take a lot longer to orgasm than men. What is happening is you are putting too much pressure on yourself to orgazm. The more he asks if you're finished the longer it takes. Am i right?!! and you know you can get there on ur own accord?! Have you tried being on top with him sitting up slightly, it puts you in control of pace and depth and you can control stimulation of your clitois on his pubic bone. and hey if he want more control then try kneeling on the bed facing away from him with him standing behind you and getting him to reach around and stimulate you as he moves.Just remember YOU CAN orgasm, ITS NOT you, ITS NOT him. just enjoy and get him to take it slower.whipped cream is another good idea, that way you know you'll get the foreplay first!oh and remember womens orgazms last average 25 seconds and mens only 9!!! so when you orgasm its worth 3 of his!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2008): maybe he's not the one ?
or otherwise maybe try something new?
try whatever turns you on... maybe your not doin it for long enough!
maybe he needs to work harder!
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