A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay, my friend won't tell me who the guy is so I'm just going to ask here instead of going and asking him like I want to. She told this guy once how she was interested in signing up for some choir classes in the next semester and she really likes singing (the guy knew she sang in her church choir, if not that she liked to sing). He told her she shouldn't sign up for choir. When she asked him why he said, "well, I've heard you sing before and... you shouldn't join a choir." He quickly changed the subject and she was still a little too stunned to actually ask him what he meant by that. What DID he mean by that? He'd already told her while they were dating (yeah, they dated) and on the second date I might add that he didn't think she was the "best singer". Sure, she isn't the best singer in the world but she's not bad enough that she couldn't be in choir. They didn't know each other that well before they started dating so it seems kind of strange he would say something like this by the time they got to the second date. My friend's in the same age range as me, the guy's 6 years older than her. She said they broke up because he kept talking about marriage almost from the start and she was only 19 at the time, so she was kind of freaked. Plus, it seems as if he didn't care enough about her to realize not to insult her singing voice right off the bat. And yet he thought he wanted to marry her? What is up with this guy?
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female
reader, BethyBoo  +, writes (23 October 2008):
 he sounds a bit weird with the whole marraige thing but what he said what just mean, not thinkin about her feelings. you dont have to be an amazing singer to be in a choir, you just have to be able to get the notes. he sounds like a tool, just drop it and forget about him and get her to as well. :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2008): He's a jerk. That's his problem.
Singing is one of my talents and I'm a good judge of who can sing or not. It's a form of self expression and if there is a choir to drown out her voice than she should be able to join the choir if she wants to! lol. The joy of singing really has nothing to do with how well you sound (although I suspect those who read this with family and friends who think they can sing will disagree with me here!).
He sounds insecure, but instead of being able to control the urge to put others down he goes ahead and crushes her eagerness to sing. She probably hurt his feelings when she broke up with him as well.
Encourage her to join the choir and sing her little heart out. There's no harm in it.
:)
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A
male
reader, Boredatwork  +, writes (23 October 2008):
 Does he have somthing todo with the choir?
As you said they used to date, maybe he doesnt want to have to work with her everyday? or however often it maye be.
If not, do they get on after the split?
As he may just be being spiteful, I know I can be to my ex's often wihout meaning to, it just kind of happens
Have you heared her sing?
I mean can she really sing (not like those peole who think they can sing on those tv tallent shows... u know they think there great and really REALLY arnt!) more like drowning a rat... he may afterall be telling the truth!
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