A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:im so confused about this girl im seeing!!!Ive startd seeing a girl the last few weeks that has really fancied me for about 2 years.Anyway the thing is we havent had sex yet but have had plenty of oppertunities to, but she keeps making excuses. when I go to touch her in places she seems to feel really uncomfortable too and like she doesnt want me to. I really dont get it at all. I think that maybe shes nervous or just doesnt want2 give it up easily but what confuses me is that when i talk to her on line shes really flirty and hints towards things shes gonna do. and the last couple of weekends when shes been out with mates drunk shes sent me really kinky messages saying how much she wants to have sex with me.but then again when im with her shes got some excuse. like last night we were in my car and things got really hot in my back seat and we were just about to have sex but right at the last minuite she said no because she didnt want the first time with me to be in the car. i suppose thats fair enough but the time before that wen we were in my car she was on her period so we couldnt have sex but she was saying how gutted she was that we couldnt. If I hadnt known her for so long before I started seeing her I would finish it because I would think she is just playing me, but i know that isnt the case cos shes had a thing for me for so long. I really dont understand at all because shes always been a flirty person and doesnt seem shy at all but then wen Shes with me she either goes shy in that situation or maybe she isnt interested in me like she thinks.Any women know wot could be wrong?I want u to know that im not putting any pressure on her at all and i never get moody after these rejections, but deep down their getting to me, and thats why im writing here. thanks
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drunk, flirt, period, shy Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009): It could be because she's only had one person before, if so her being nervous is understandable. As I said, she could feel ready to or want to (hence the sexual texts) but then realises she's not when it comes to doing it. She may be making up excuses because she doesn't want you to think she's leading you on. She could be, but it's more likely to be the other reason - especially as you say she's liked you for 2 years. As I said, talk to her about it, but don't come across that you're just a horny guy wanting sex.
A
female
reader, Ravenxx91 +, writes (27 July 2009):
 maybe she just wants it to be perfect the first time she has sex with you and aint comfortable until it is?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni know she wasnt abused or assaulted or anything. and she is not a virgin. she has only slept with one other person tho which was in a long relationship. could that maybe it that she is nervous about sleeping with someone else? if it is how does that explain her texts and flirtyness and even when wer in situations to have sex she is so turned on says how much she wants it but then when it comes right down to the moment of actually "doing it" she comes up with some reason not to, but then also says that she really doesnt want me to think she doesnt want to but its because of ( excuse here).
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A
male
reader, lonestarchalk1  +, writes (27 July 2009):
 i had a girlfriend just like yours, but she had been sexually assaulted as a teenager and it really had caused major intimacy issues for her in her life.
later
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009): I think that she does want to have sex with you but when it comes down to it, isn't ready. Do you know of her sexual past? Is she a virgin? If she's not then maybe she doesn't want to rush straight into it, even though her texts are telling you otherwise.
You could explain gently that you're getting mixed signals from her and that you do like her, but if she's not ready to have sex then tone down the texts so as not to mislead you. Before you give up on her try to find out why. You don't want a misunderstanding to get in the way of a great possible relationship!
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (27 July 2009):
 well you've said it yourself she knew you before as friends right?
she always liked you before she may just be embarressed about how she looks down there and still thinks of you as a friend i mean i know you guys are together but do you see what i mean?
you were friends first and she's probably shy about the way she looks down there and you've never seen her in that sense until now.
just talk to her about it find out whats wrong i have a strong feeling it's to do with her being uncomfortable about the way she appears to you not just as a girlfriend but as a friend.
Hope this helps.
x ilovebowsandcherries x
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