A
male
age
36-40,
*lias me
writes:This girl I work with continuously asks me about my relationship. She (and I) were a little bit flirty with each other for a while but I know she has a husband so I never persued anything. Any way I started dated another girl about a few months ago and just realized she always asks me about how my relationship is going.Out of the blue she asked me when me and girlfriend last had sex,when she heard about me having an argument with her she kept asking me about saying you better sort it out.I know it may just be her way of being friendly and she said she really wants to meet my girlfriend, but I am starting to think its a little obsessive possibly, litterally before she says hello to me she will ask "hows your girlfriend?" what is the situation there, what shall I do??
View related questions:
flirt, I work with Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Silius Sodimus  +, writes (24 January 2013):
Girls are often attracted to guys in a relationship or are married. It's not that they do it on purpose but it's an indicator that if you are in a stable relationship then you must be a decent guy. It's an indicator that you are relationship material. So she could be interested, although she could simply be nosey but I tend to think it's because she's interested.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2013): It seems like she likes you and may be bit obsessed, if i was you I would be a little bit wary, she's probably just fancies you and is a little bit obsessed but what she said is a bit weird so I would not do any more flirting with her.
...............................
A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (20 January 2013):
 She might just be a bit nosey. Being in a long term relationship isn't always as exciting as new relationships maybe she's just bored and interested in what you have to say.
Personally I can be quite nosey and will have chats with some male colleagues about their relationships, just because its good gossip I'm female and I'm nosey!! Same reason we watch programmes like Jeremy Kyle lol
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2013): She wants to start an affair with you and thinks that your new gf is the obstacle to her goal.
...............................
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (20 January 2013):
Hi there. When you and her were flirty with each other earlier, perhaps she was hoping to take it further with you.
Or else, she was just enjoying those little flirtations between you.
Kind of fun, to break the monotony of life.
Perhaps in her own life, she is a little bored and saw this as a way of breaking loose.
She might still have designs on you.
And when she asks about how your girlfriend is, she might be wondering if she has a chance with you, perhaps.
Or maybe it's nothing of the sort.
She might be trying to help you with your relationship if you and your new girlfriend ever have an argument.
Like playing cupid.
I guess it really doesn't matter too much what her motives are, just so long as you don't let it get in your way of enjoying your work day.
Perhaps from now on whenever she asks the same old question - "How's your girlfriend?" - or some such thing, you could simply say to her - "She's really good thanks. We are really happy thank you."
And look happy and smiling when you say it. And be sincere.
Then say no more than that, and break eye contact. And just go on working.
Which then indicates to your female workmate, that it reallys ISN'T open for any further discussion - which in actual fact, is true.
Your relationship with your girlfriend and anything to do with that situation, is no-one else's business but yours and your girlfriend's!
And if you say that very same statement (above), each time this female work friend asks you, and never change what you say, you will probably find that she eventually gives up on asking you altogether.
And asking when you and your girlfriend last had sex, is NOT her business at all!
It has nothing to do with her.
Now what is a good answer to that question - about when did you last have sex? - you could just say to her - "Look (her name), I don't discuss private details of my life with anyone."
And then say no more.
When you say this, just keep calm, be respectful and smile.
Then should she ask you again on another day, well then say the very same thing to her.
I realize you don't want to have an argument with her as you DO have to work together, and so this is why it's so important that you tell her - in this way.
That way she doesn't get angry or upset, because you said what you had to say, with kindness and respect.
She might be disappointed, but at least she won't go off crying to the ladies toilets.
And she does realize that because you know she's married, that you wouldn't ever take it any further with her, than flirting.
And now regards the flirting.
Since she is acting this way since your new girlfriend, it would be very wise, to stop any flirty exchanges with her, so as to not ecourage her anymore.
Even if she says flirty things to you, just don't answer her in that same way. Just keep it friendly and professional.
Just don't cross that line anymore.
...............................
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (20 January 2013):
 Hi
She's a bit obsessive isn't she, reckon she hopes you will say your splitting up with your girlfriend.I think she wanted a fling but thinks you seeing somebody is whats stopping you.Thats how it sounds.
I would say very clearly, 'look,sorry, I don't discuss my relationships with others,it's personal'. Then change the subject.If she doesn't get the message then just avoid her or answer with 'fine thanks,hows your husband'.
...............................
|
