A
male
age
51-59,
*arianovolpe
writes:As I have said on previous posts, my wife has had about of 25 sexual partners before me (we met each other when she was 40). She is a very well educated and very kind person. At the begining we were very open during our conversations and at that time she told me that some of her sexual partners were very well endowed. I had never concerned about my size (5.5 inches) but for some time now I feel myself inadequate. Anyway I realize that the real average is around 6.5/7 inches. Threfore, I am small. Also I am normal, I know that. But I am small, no question about it. My problem is that my wife keeps insisting that my penis is "normal" (i do know that!), but she refuses to say that it is small. I have explained to her that I need an honest answer but she seems does not understand. Any advise?
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male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (13 January 2013):
 "I am pretty sure that all women want a strong self esteem man."
I'll go further than that. I am ABSOLUTELY sure that all women want a man with self-esteem and confidence. We know we're not perfect and all have our faults.
However, you are showing your woman you have LOW self-esteem and self-confidence by making this an issue when it isn't.
I'm going to tell you now what is going to happen if you don't get over this non-issue. She is going to get sick and tired of you and leave you. By not letting this non-issue go you probably don't realise you are turning her off, she's losing interest every time you mention this stupid thing, and it's a matter of time before you are OUT.
So stop moaning and going about something that doesn't matter for your own sake or wave goodbye to your woman forever.
A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (12 January 2013):
 OP, your wife is very, very unlikely to cheat on you just for an extra inch or two of penis. You say yourself that she's a kind and intelligent woman, so give her credit! Do you have any other reasons to think she'd be unfaithful?
I think you should see a professional therapist to help you with your insecurities about your penis size and your wife's previous lovers. I don't say that to be insulting or harsh, but there's only so much people on here can do to help you. I worry this might become a self fulfilling prophecy where your insecure behaviour actually pushes her away.
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male
reader, Marianovolpe +, writes (12 January 2013):
Marianovolpe is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLadies: I am the OP again. I am pretty sure that all women want a strong self esteem man. I agree with you. My fear is that she, despite of she deeply loves me, wants to try casual sex with some of her ex lover who was able to give her more pleasure than I. Remember that she has had casual sex and friends with benefits. The part where I think that a bigger penis provides better pleasure is something that I need to get over.
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female
reader, R1 +, writes (12 January 2013):
 My friends and I were discussing penis size down the pub lady night as you do! We all agreed men who are big tend not to put much effort in during sex and are very arrogant, average size is well average and men with small penis's tend to perform better in bed but have a lot of insecurities - you follow this stereotype. Basically what we are saying is we don't care how big you are as long as you aren't insecure or arrogant! Bare this in mind...
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (12 January 2013):
 do you think OP that she was more open with you in the beginning because you were not so over the top "insane" about this whole penile size thing?
do you want to know the BEST lover I ever had? My ex husband. (and I left him) do you want to know why? Not his massive schlong... it wasn't that big... (no my first husband has that award and I HATED sex with him because it HURT) NO the reason my ex husband was my best lover was because he had the BEST oral skills of any man I ever knew. AND he liked to use them.
And YET OP and this is KEY... listen to ME.... I LEFT a man with GREAT oral skills for a guy who is a LOUSY lover but whom has such confidence and loves me so purely and is comfortable knowing he's not my best but he's my LAST....
If you don't stop calling her a liar, if you don't stop worrying about this irrational fear you have, you are going to worry and obsess yourself right out of a marriage. A man who is so sure he's lousy and is so obsessed about former partners is a man that is going to be easily tired of shortly. I would not tolerate it.
My response would be "I'm happy with our sex life and I'm happy with you. IF YOU DON'T STOP this nonsense that is all in your head (which is getting tiresome honey) I will have to replace you with a man who has some self esteem."
IT gets tiresome.
It gets annoying to have to constantly stroke a fragile ego. and it's not worth it.
See a counselor and get some treatment for this irrational fear of yours before you destroy the love your wife has for you.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 January 2013):
 Then, poor women . Because statistic studies on this subject are clear and plentiful. Only 3% of males in the world have a "monster" penis, 8 inches and up. And only 15-18 % ( according to different studies ) have a 7 to 8 inches .
Which means, they have less than one out of five chances to find what, in YOUR mind, they really really want.
But do they ? How would you know ? You haven't ever been penetrated vaginally, you have no idea how it feels and what's the best size. I see that that " hitting the cervix " explanation totally went over your head , OK, but at least be courteous enough to accept that women know what they feel and know what they like, and, allowing of course for different individual preferences, if they say average is just very fine thanks, that's precisely what they mean.
The celebrities are CONFIRMING what we told you , rather than disproving it. Saying , I like it " average to big " only means " I don't like it SMALL ", it does not mean " I ONLY like it big, or I only like it 7 inches exactly ".
Btw, seeing the humongous number of women who don't orgasm through intercourse, but only through manual or oral stimulation,... and seeing that also for those who orgasm through penetration, orgasm is not really just caused by a mechanical repetition of thrusts by a tool of ANY size, but by a complex series of sensual/ emotional stimulations, ... for many women a small penis is perfectly OK too.
All this, just for the record, because basically is neither here nor there, you don't have to care about what other women like, only about what your wife likes.
Does she like your sex life ? Does she say, and show, that she is happy, content, satisfied, fulfilled, with what she gets from you ?... yes ?... So, I don't even understand what we are talking about ! and what do you need to bring up the 7 inches for.
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male
reader, Marianovolpe +, writes (12 January 2013):
Marianovolpe is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOP here. Cindy, yes, I am very stubborm, the thing is that at the beginning of our relationship she used to be more open with me and she'd was the one who made comments about the size. Now she changed her mind ( or just she says what it is hurts less to me) and those inconsistencies are the reason because I doubt her. Last night I have watched a TV show where many local celebrities where questioned about preferred penis size. 90 % answered "medium to big". And again, I am not saying that women do prefer a monster penis (10 inches or so) I think 7 inches is what they prefer. Why do you think that men almost never are questioned about breast size, or vagina size? And why do you think that penis size does?
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female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (12 January 2013):
OP, either we did not make ourselves clear, or... you are a very stubborn guy :)
Again, YOU are the one who links a 7 plus penis to better sexual performances, but the women, at least NOT in their totality, don't.
Again, only some women may prefer largely endowed men , but most women could not care less about size , or actually prefer an average size.
It's even strange that you have to seek confirmation of this on the Net. I mean, don't you trust your wife ? Are you in the habit to doubt everything she says ? When she says " I love chocolate ice cream " , do you immediately think " no, it can't be true. She must prefer strawberry icecream ! " ?
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male
reader, Marianovolpe +, writes (12 January 2013):
Marianovolpe is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am the OP. It is true. I compare myself with her ex lovers and I feel that there were some better than me in bed. I think that a good lover is someone who is more than a sexual stalion and from that point of view I think that I am the best. But even though she does not care if I am not the best in bed (and I make a link with a bigger penis, not a monster penis, but something around 7 inches at least- with fantastic sex) I do care. All of you are right when you say that this is only my problem, but please, tell me the truth... Don't you feel sad, sometimes, thinking that other men have given more pleasure to your wives (for men) and (for women) don't you ever would prefer that your husbands were better in bed or a little bigger if you could choose?
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female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (10 January 2013):
Some women prefer larger penises. Some, but by no means all. The thing about a bigger penis is that it is often quite painful for the woman. Some women (SOME) get off on the pleasure/pain thing but not everyone. If this was a very important issue for your wife, she wouldn't have married you.
I get the feeling that even if you woke up one morning and miraculously had a huge penis, you would still have insecurities with your wife. There would be something else about her past lovers that you'd be worried/ obsessed about.
You love your wife and have a good sex life. You are fortunate!! I just worry that you might spoil it all by worrying so much about her previous lovers and comparing yourself to them.
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female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (9 January 2013):
And as many ,many or more, will be of different opinion and will tell you that they don't require or prefer a big penis, that they do not find a direct correlation between penis size and sexual satisfcation. Or, that for all they care you can be born penisless as long as you have tongue and fingers, seen the high percentage of women who don't orgasm through penetration only. Only, if they 'd tell you you would not listen, because you are practicing selective attention and only taking into account the infos that confirm your theory ,not those which disprove it.
Anyway, Sageoldguy is right, if one day your wife should stop being attracted to you, it won't be because she longs for a bigger penis, but because she longs for a man that can put something less futile at the center of his concerns.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (9 January 2013):
 OP: GET OVER IT!!!! You've absolutely GOT to have something better to fret over.
If you can't think of any such thing.... let me remind you that about 30% of the people in this world will go to bed hungry tonight. ... and all you can worry about is whether or not your penis is the perfect size for scr**ing your wife?????
In Israel and Gaza, there might well be mortars raining overhead tonight...and all you can worry about is whether or not your penis is the perfect size for scr**ing your wife?????
Hundreds of cancer patients... and others being treated for who-knows-what... that is causing them, their families and friends untold stress.... and all you can worry about is whether or not your penis is the perfect size for scr**ing your wife?????
I'm sure you get my point....
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, Marianovolpe +, writes (9 January 2013):
Marianovolpe is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDear Yos: I think that you have explained very well what is happening to me. You're right. It is a stupidity to continue speaking about penis size with my wife. On the other hand.... And the most difficult thing to accept is the fact that many...many women have told me that a big penis attached to a good lover is like get the lottery. And again/ I do know that I am able to satisfy to my wife, and also I know that others could have been better than I in that department. It is very hard to accept it to me because I love her so much. I hope I have expressed my feelings/thougts more properly this time.Kind regards
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female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (8 January 2013):
I can't say it any better than Yos or the other contributors but I want to add that if you keep obsessing about this with your wife, you'll drive one or both of you mad. She is (so far) tolerating your baseless insecurities, but don't expect that to last forever. Do you want to end up as one of her exes?
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (8 January 2013):
 "Please remember that you are smaller or bigger in comparison to others. "
Ah ok. You have developed an obsession with her having had sex with some guys with larger dicks than you.
There's a few things you can do:
- Deal with your obsession. It sounds powerful, psychiatric help is probably the most direct and effective route.
- Behind your obsession are some unstated irrational beliefs that you need to identify and let go of if you are to cope with this. Things like 'my wife preferred sex these men with bigger penises to me' and 'I am never going to be able to give her sexual pleasure like they did'.
Understand that these things are not true, even though you feel they are true. Irrational beliefs are hard to tackle, I recommend this approach:
http://www.livestrong.com/article/14728-handling-irrational-beliefs/
Lastly you have one other thing to do: stop talking to your wife about penis size. DROP the subject COMPLETELY. It's fuelling your obsession as well as no doubt driving her nuts. Understand this:
- There is no conversation you can have with your wife about penis size that will solve this issue. This is all in your head only. Involving her only makes things worse. Always. End of conversation.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 January 2013):
OP you do need some help. You keep saying your wife is lying…. But she’s not. The issue is YOUR own misconceptions.
Why are you so concerned about the size of your penis? Do you really think that’s the part of your body your wife thinks about when she wishes you were close to her? If you do, you’re wrong.
Why do you insist your wife is lying. And if she is so untrustworthy why do you stay with her?
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female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (8 January 2013):
And, statistically speaking, it is very very probale that's she is telling you exactly the truth.
You'll be smaller than some, and bigger then others, and similar to most.
Why are you so mistrustful toward your wife ? Do you know her for a liar ? When you are not talking about penises,do you normallt believe her, or do you question and doubt everything she says ?
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (8 January 2013):
It's time you got over this. She is happy. Why can't you just let it go?
Does it really matter in the grand scheme of things? Are you happy with her and is she a good woman?
I'm not going to bother reading anymore of your followups.
This is not an issue/problem so why do you persist with it? GET OVER IT. This is a non-issue.
If you can't handle it then leave her.
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A
male
reader, Marianovolpe +, writes (8 January 2013):
Marianovolpe is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk. "Normal" is not the same thing that "average". Maybe I need a psychiatric help, but, please remember that you are smaller or bigger in comparison to others. This is a fact. My question is not if I am "average". I have asked her if I am small in comparison with her exes and she insists in that "almost of all them were like you".
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2013): Dude, just trust your wife instead of accusing her of dishonesty. That's not cool. So give her (and yourself) a break. You're the one she married, so you can take her at her word.You say "my wife keeps insisting that my penis is "normal" (i do know that!)" If you *know that*, why are you insisting on a different answer?
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A
male
reader, Yos +, writes (6 January 2013):
" I think there is no such thing like "average". You are small, very small, big or very big"
No there is very much such a thing as average. There is: very small, small, average, big, very big.
You've managed to convince yourself of something untrue to a very powerful level. It's clear no one here is going to be able to talk sense into you.
You don't need a tape measure, you need a professional psychiatrist. I suggest you go see one to get help with this.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (6 January 2013):
But the average is not between 5 and 7 . 7 is way above average, meaning that there's only maybe 15-20% of the population with a penis 7 inches and over.
There are several statistic studies ( Kinsey Institute, Indiana University , etc.) and they concur , that you are not only " normal " , but STATISTICALLY average.
Your bad luck has it that maybe you are the smallest among your wife's partners ( hard to believe, btw, again for statistics reasons ) but that does not make you under average . Same as if you were, say 5'11 high, and before you she only had dated basketball players , that would not make YOU short.
As for sex being necessarily better with a bigger penis, that's absolutely FALSE. Quantity does NOT improve quality . For some women it may, it's personal preference like their liking blue eyes or mustachioed men- just because. There's really no accounting for erotic preferences. But , again, the AVERAGE of women prefer an average dimension. A bigger penis may HURT. It may hit the cervix during intercourse , a sensation that most women strongly dislike ( some women do like it, true, and once again, go figure ). There are some positions that are very uncomfortable with a very well endowed man.
As for slipping out- bigger penises may slip out too :) It 's not because of the fit , as good as the fit may be, a vagina is still not an airtight Tupperware. It's because of the woman being extremely wet and slippery, or either lover moving too fast or too vigorously.
Then again, we are talking about fried air here, if your wife does not complain, in fact she is happy with your lovemaking, even if you had the penis of a hamster, what would be the problem ? Her past " big guns ", where are they now ? They are history. She married YOU and she is having sex with you. Assuming that she could do better, and she has to make do with a " small " penis and misses one, is implying that your wife is dumb and does not know what works for her and what she likes and dislikes. Give her some credit !
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male
reader, Marianovolpe +, writes (5 January 2013):
Marianovolpe is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am the OP. Just some points to clarify my thougts
1. I think there is no such thing like "average". You are small, very small, big or very big (if you say that average is between 5 and 7 inches...think about this: is not IT 5 small and 7 big?)
2. On the other hand, I do know that I am normal, but small.
3. She already told me that I am small ("average normal to small, she said), in comparison with the most of her exes
4. No, I don't like penis humiliation. I only want accept my limitations and I need to know the truth from hers first
5. My girth is 1,6 inches of díameter.
6. I do know that she loves me for who I am and what I am, but I think that there is a connection between penis size and more pleasure for women.
7. I think that (only from the pure sexual act perspective) a skilled lover plus small penis is satisfactory sex, but a skilled lover plus a big penis is great sex.
8. Ok, I know that this is my problem. In fact my wife does not seems concerned about this.
9. My problem?: I only can deliver satisfactory sex to my wife. Never great sex (in comparison with previous skilled and bigger sex partners)
10. Regarding sex positions: when she is in top, my penis slip out frequently when she moves. I think this is because most of her ex lovers were bigger.
11. I consider myself a good lover. My "agony" is related to realize that others were better than me.
12. When she tells me "you're fine" she is saying , in fact, "I love you, so is doesn't matter to me if you are not my best lover"
Thank you for all the replies. I only would wish to enjoy sex with her without thinking if I am the best lover or just an "average" lover
On the other hand, in Argentina, women use to lié regarding their " I appreciate that she was honest with me
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female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (3 January 2013):
Your clever wife refuses to tell you it's small because it's not small. It's average. You're basically asking for her to lie!
I expect she's very content with your sex life, so stop looking for problems and just enjoy!
If you keep bugging her with this and other anxieties, it's going to start to get annoying for her. Forget about her sexual history. She loves and chose to marry you, not the well endowed guys.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2013): I was one of the female anons below , I mean 6" lenght.But to be honest, my American bf, who is around your size and 6 something on a good day is MY FAVORITE LOVER EVER.I did not have 25, and I know by Argentinian starndards that is quite a lot, but to be honest my dear BF with his 5.5 makes me see STARS AND STRIPES :) Why? Because he is passionate, he moves great (took dance lessons for me) and he devours me and looks at me with uncontrolled passion.He is such a lustful and sexy creature, that even if his penis was 3" I would be attracted to him. He also hints that his penis is small, but honesty IF he was much bigger it would HURT me and it would not be pleasurable.We have a lot of fun experimenting different positions he can hmm "hit the right" spots from, and when he is confident right then and there it turns me on. So I would suggest trying new positions , maybe bring a few toys or playthings to make things more spicy.Really che, you are worrying oo much. As I said peniz size is irrelevant, and you being so insecure is NOT ATTRACTIVE AT ALL, it makes you look like a boy, not a man....o man up and LOVE YOURSELF :D
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2013): your size is ok man.it is medium and anyway you can't do anything about it. so why worry? listen to all the replies here. you are lucky to have such a good wife who is happy with it. I don't know what is the culture in Argentina But having been with 25 guys b4 is way too many for an average woman in the part of the world where I am from. the middle-east.
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female
reader, r0ckah0l1c +, writes (3 January 2013):
As a female... I think personally think its how thick it is that matters and what you do with it. The only challenge I've ever had with anyone 5.5inches or smaller is doing doggy style because once in a while it would fall out from not fully reaching. This doesn't mean that other positions weren't pleasurable. Plus penises over 5/6 inches make anal more difficult.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2013): I don't know where you got your average statistics from, but 6.5/7 inches is definitely way above average. I have had 10 lovers and I would guess they have all between 5 and 6 inches (granted I didn't bust out the tape measure but approximately!) If your wife is happy then I don't understand why you are making an issue out of this. I know men will probably never believe it, but penis size is the very last thing we consider when choosing a partner! It's all about the skills dude!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 January 2013):
you do realize that AVERAGE is just the middle half are bigger half are smaller... no one is actually truly AVERAGE
and to be honest 5.5 is PERFECT for me... my current husband is the least endowed of any man I've ever been with and I'd rather have sex with him than anyone else... TOO BIG HURTS especially for us petite girls.
The truth is that it does not matter if your penis is NORMAL or AVERAGE or big or small... what MATTERS is that your wife is happy with you as spouse, partner and lover. IF she's not complaining why do you think there is something wrong?
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (3 January 2013):
When I read your submittal I couldn't help but imagine two people - a man and a woman - in bed.... and him with an enormous "manhood"... and her saying to him: "My, what a cute little peeny you have there....."
C'mon, wake up!!!! Fixating on your penis and its length (or girth) serves no purpose EXCEPT when it makes you go on a "help" site - such as this - to talk about it... AND you learn that most people (women as well as men) don't spend nearly as much time and energy as you do agonizing over the size of a penis....
Good luck....
P.S. Do you do oral for this lucky lady????
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male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (3 January 2013):
She is being nice when she says that. Chill out and relax. She likes you. You've got a good woman there who doesn't want you to feel inadequate. She's satisfied so why can't you be?
Get over it,
This isn't a problem.
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male
reader, Yos +, writes (3 January 2013):
Dude, 5.5 inches is the exact average. Your penis is the very definition of normal.
Men feel about penis size the way women feel about weight. Women always want to be a bit skinnier and men always want to be a bit larger.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2013): I lived on Argentina and have had a few Argentinain men, they all have had great girth (which is to me what really matters) Their width has been always over 6 inches, and I have found them to be bigger compared to my Caucasian boyfriends on the US. To be honest size is really irrelevant when I comes to the actual act.
Honestly, if I was your wife I would be so extremely annoyed that you would keep ANNOYING me with the same question!!! I had an American bf who was same size as you on average and kept insisting that he was small!
IT IS AGGRAVATING!It is not attractive at all. Imagine her going all the time on how her boobs are small and obligating you to "confess" you hate them. I'm sure she has little things on her body, like her breasts that even if not perfect I am sure you love them.
So really che, what you need is some confidence. unless you are into penis humilliation and that is why you want her to say you are small.On all honesty, you are fine...
UNLESS you find her faking it...then why are you complaining???? If you find that she is enjoying herself then your "small" penis is surely doing the job just fine.
IIF you still feel so inadequate, look for enlargement options with your CERTIFIED DOCTOR, but that is your choice either deal with it and accept that your wife LIKES YOU HOW YOU ARE, or get it enlarged.
Adios.
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male
reader, CMMP +, writes (3 January 2013):
Why in the world are you trying to force your wife to say you have a small dick?
It's average, plain and simple. Not small, not big.
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female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (3 January 2013):
My advice is to consult a medical encyclopaedia, or ask any urologist , and you'll see that your wife is right and you are textbook average, being that the worlwide mondial average is 5.1-5.9 inches and you fall right in the middle.
To be very specific, I found stats for Argentina ( if you are from there ) that say the average there is 5.8 , with a girth of 4.8, so if we want to be picky yes, you are 0.3 inches less than the average Argentinian, but your wife should have been scrutinizing your penis with a magnifying glass to even notice !
6,5 / 7 is definitely above average . Although , apparently, in your continent your neighbours the Brazilians sport a good 6.2. as average.
Don't spend your holidays in Rio de Janeiro and you'll be fine :).
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2013): She is being honest average penis size is a range from 5.5 - 7inches. If shes happy with it why are you worrying? Your wife isnt lying and she will continue to say your average because she loves you AND its the TRUTH. It seems you are being petty and looking to make a mountain of a molehill. Why?
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female
reader, R1 +, writes (3 January 2013):
You don't sound that small don't worry! I'm sure if you keep pushing her she will eventually tell you that you are small just to shut you up! Will it make you feel better? If she enjoys it whose complaining! Do you compare vagina sizes of all your ex's?
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