A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:why does my mum blame me for the person she loved going to prision?i know what he did was wrong, and i know my mum loved him, and i know she'd choose her childen over him, but why does she still blame me for losing the person she ever loved? i cant go into any other detail then that im sorry! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2007): Ok..I'm going to go against the grain here a little bit, and probably irritate some. Because of the vagueness of your post it is difficult to discern why there is blame going on and if it is justified. Many people here are erroneously blaming your mom for blaming you without knowing the details and really only you know why your Mum for whatever reason is placing this blame on you. Really, one question: Did you have a direct hand in him being convicted and going to jail? Was his crime a 'real' crime (murder) or a 'victimless' crime (insider trading)? If it was a real crime, then he is where he belongs and your mom should feel the same, if it was victimless then perhaps thats why you're mom is being hard on you. Apparently your mom loved this man, and isn't placing blame on you for no reason unless she's mentally ill. So it would seem she is strongly convinced that you had something to do with him going to jail something perhaps you could've prevented. Parents do love their children foremost, but the loss of a loved one can be emotionally devastating. Without clarifying your post you make it sound like you are completely faultless and you make your mom sound like a nut case.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2007): Sounds to me like this guy was a loser and your mother needs profesional help. Children are NEVER at the route of couples breaking up. Its always the adults fault 100% of the time. The adults are the ones in control...whether it works or fails, they have to take responsibilty for what went wrong or right. "Mom" needs help or she will continue to have a lifetine of misery.
J
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A
male
reader, Uncle Trev +, writes (24 December 2007):
The fact you cannot go into further details suggests to me that something criminal was maybe done to you. If this is the case and your mother is blaming you then shame on her. It rather says a lot more about her callousness than it could ever say about you.
If he has gone away for some other reason then surely you cannot be blamed for that unless he has gone away, taking the blame to cover something bad that you may have done.
I can only come to the conclusion that by her afforts to pass the blame by casting fault, that she is of the weak and cowardly sort. The other conclusion that I can also come to is that whatever has happened it is most highly unlikely that you are in the blame in any way possible.
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A
female
reader, LULU'S Advice +, writes (24 December 2007):
 If you told the truth and thats why he went to prison then obviously what he did was wrong.You should try telling your mum how you feel.She may not even realise she's making you feel this way.If you've already told her and it's not any better,then perhaps your mum needs some proffesional help. xx
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (24 December 2007):
 for some it's easier to place blame than it is to face the poor decisions we make.
If this person committed a crime and went to prison, it's due to their own actions and choices, you're not to blame for the poor choices of others, nor is your mom.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2007): I'm not sure of the circumstances but your mom should not through things in your face. She is the one who your suppose to look up to and go to when something is wrong.I think you should sit down and talk to her about how you feel and let her know that she's your mom and not an enemy. Try to make her listen. I've been in a similiar situation and it does help.
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A
male
reader, leonard j, Douglas  +, writes (24 December 2007):
Your mother is caught-up in the Blame-Game. And she needs to have someone to Blame for the things that go wrong in her life. You don't have to understand her, but you do need to keep on loving her,no matter what.
Have a nice Christmas.
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A
female
reader, muffy +, writes (24 December 2007):
 i know how you feel.my parents are getting divorced over something that happend between me and my dad.he said that part of the reason hes leaving is because of me.he just cant take responsibility for what he did to me.my mom and him are either fighting or ignoring each other and hes always leaving with his friends.now hes not even spending christmas with us.im pretty upset.but anyways,i feel like its my fault that my parents are getting divorced.but why is your mom blaming you?what did you do to get him in prison?but whatever the cause is,it probably isnt your fault.
i hope i helped
love and kisses
feel free to message me if you ever need anything.
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