A
female
age
41-50,
*ed angel
writes:hi ive in a relationship now for 6 years and have 3 children, our relation ship has gone down hill since birth of our last child, our sex life was very little , feeling so down ive meet some body else over the internet and ive fell for him like crazy the sex is the best ever, we do things i would of never dreamt of with him, i feel like im 18 again, the problem is its only once a week no strings, i think i want it more but he doesnt, im not sure what to do, im so turned on by this, that i have started having sex with my husband to fanatizes about him, my husband is now questioning me as he doenst know whats got over me and why im so horny,and why i keep coming up with these different ideas in bed, i must admitt im enjoying both and have had both on same day either way round its bring me and the hubby closer but cant get this other man out of my head, shall i ditch the fling or the hubby or carry on as i as, i just want to be happy and feel good about my self
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horny, sex life, the internet, want to be happy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2008): What do you know, you are one of those who take the unconventional route to say your affair in a way has benefitted your marriage, because that what you learned from your lover sex wise, you applied in your marriage and this has brought you and your husband closer. Who are we to question that or say otherwise? I will only say that different and more creative approaches to sex, or tips and ideas for better sex you can also find by researching the matter, not necessarily this implying cheating, and also by trying to be relaxed and disinhibited to explore each other, to communicate your intimate wishes and likes in order to find new ways of enhancing your sex life. What I especially wish to emphasize is that what your affair has "taught" you is that there is room for BETTER, and in the same manner it has (paradoxically) brought you closer to your husband by the applying of these ideas in your sex life, it can as well damage your marriage, maybe permanently, if your secret lover comes to light. From what you say, it seems your husband has been receptive to the new ideas which is a good sign, all you need to do is encourage him to also surprise you, to do the same, and together you can discover other ways to express and explore your sexuality for the benefit of the relationship as a whole. A sex life free of frustration, holding back, that is healthy and enjoyable for both partners can only set a good background for other couple's activities and much more. As long as neither of you goes beyond his boundaries to "comply" but rather enjoys the intimacy in its growth and change and in itself, you should appreciate it as a good premise for a new start with your husband! And how are you two doing in other departments, for example in what regards communication and understanding, or the sharing of daily duties? I'm sure it is your husband who you have more in common in these aspects thus I would advise you, too, to work on your marriage, now that you know it can be better, to actually concretize this in more than one way! All the best.
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