A
female
age
30-35,
*edhead917
writes:Hello all I'm kinda new at this so please work with me...I'm 20 years old and lost my virginity at 15 I've had 3 partners in that time one of which I was with for 4 years and we did it on a regular basis and even now it still feels like he rips me open everytime I know that none of my partners have anything I made them all get checked before I did anything with them and so I'm begining to worry that something is wrong with me...at first I thought it was bc he was so big but now I'm beginning to wonder its gotten to the point I don't want to have sex anymore bc most times it hurts so bad I end up crying and can't sit for 2 days I'm getting to a point in my life where I'm ready to have children so I want to get this mess taken care of I don't have health insurence so I can't go see a doctor about it any advice would be greatly appreciated thanks so much
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female
reader, redhead917 +, writes (25 September 2009):
redhead917 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much to everyone who replied to my post I have been very very worried about what it could be. I have tried multiple positions and some are better then others.The pain I experience varies sometimes its like he is stabbing my organs and other times its like sand paper. I don't have a partner at all anymore in fact sex is part of the cause for me and my fiance split up it was very hard for him to understand. I've been thinking it may be in my head bc I was molested at the age of 10 and I've had a very hard time coping with that. The only way I can see any kind of female doctor is through the health department and the only do paps so I'm not sure what I'm gonna do
A
female
reader, Aunty Emily  +, writes (25 September 2009):
It could be that your tense,or your body isn't prepared enough-it gets wider and deeper when your very turned on-I get pain during sex as well but the doctors can't find anything wrong with me-mabey your just small-in which case,if you really want to get it bigger you could buy a dildo and use it to strech it out
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A
male
reader, OzBloke  +, writes (25 September 2009):
Are public doctors are out of the question? In Australia we have doctors who "bulk bill" the government, giving us free medical care. Is there nothing like this you could get?
If you've been having problems with normal sexual penetration over a period of years, then it is surely worth seeking a professional doctor's opinion ASAP.
Are you close enough to your partner to perhaps get him to help with expenses?
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A
female
reader, jorjax1x +, writes (25 September 2009):
 All women are differant there is no explaination for this. our bodys react differant. is it painful that you dont want to have sex if this is the case u could go to your doctor and ask his advise. have you tried lube + oral sex before hand this might ease the pain hope this helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2009): It is a shame that you live in a country or are in a situation where the cost of medical care prevents you from asking a doctor this question :( . Look perhaps as you mentioned, you are small and he or they were big but as on average there isn't that much difference in shape I would say there is probably a problem with the shape or natural lubrication something that is making this painful for you and doctor would be the person you need to speak with and best qualified to answer. But I do know that lubrication is often an issue for women and this can be remedied by over the counter lubricants, that shape i.e. a tipped uterus can cause discomfort and that certain positions are better than others in regards to size I think we naturally have some differences but biologically our bodies are able to cope with that in most cases. I do know a person that complained of the same issue for years and ended up having a surgical procedure that stopped the pain . So if you don't have money you might try the over the counter lubricants or varying positions but if that isn't it I think it is really important to see a doctor. It would be a shame to go off sex because of something that can probably be fixed- best of luck
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