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Why does he run hot and cold?

Tagged as: Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 February 2017) 4 Answers - (Newest, 2 March 2017)
A female Philippines age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hi i need some advice here..

I've been seeing this guy for a month now

We dont have any label in our relationship

The first 2 weeks he's been so caring

Were more like a cat and a dog but his sweet at the same time but suddenly he keeps on ignoring me for the past 4 days and i suddenly miss his presence.

So the other day i keep on searching for him on our mutual friends while where drinking. Maybe i got some courage to face him because of the alcohol

One of our friend brought me to him its in a computer cafe

I talk to him he approach me like nothing happened he fallowed me to the place were we are drinking i talked to him if he had any problems with me then he said nothing then hugged me. So i was okay after that.

Were okay that time now, We even had sex.

But the day i saw him again i thought were already okay but the way he look at me is different and his talking to me coldly.

Did i do something wrong? Why did he suddenly became so cold? What should i do? im sorry if this took so long :((

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (2 March 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntHe doesn't want a relationship with you sweetie, if he did then he would make more off an effort. You made sex to easy for him and that is all he is interested in having with you. Some fun. In future you really should hold off on sex until you figure out what the guy wants from you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2017):

He is not interested in you. He is okay with getting sex from you when he feels like it.

Here it is in simple terms.

Hot means he wants sex.

Cold means he does not want sex or a relationship and pushes you away once he is done getting sex from you.

Hot/cold men are hard to take. They just bring you down because they will never give you what you are looking for.

It is best to untangle yourself now before it gets worse.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (23 February 2017):

CindyCares agony aunt What you are doing wrong, at least from his point of view, is that you are doing " we have a relationship " while he is doing " casual dates ".

You want to know where he is when he is not with with you, you want to know why you did not hear from him in 4 days... you have demands, you have expectations. And I am not saying that your demands and expectations are crazy or unreasonable, but - are you on the same page ? Does your going out together means the same thing for you and him ? ..

Maybe not, and his coldness is a way to put you back in your casual place. If you have not put any label on your relationship- that has its downsides too , like , not clearly knowing what you are for each other and what you want from each other.

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A female reader, Campari Milano United Kingdom +, writes (23 February 2017):

At your age, never imagine for a second that this might not happen.

And certainly never ask if everything is ok and then shag them.

He is looking round for other girls and then using you for sex because he can.

Don't let him. You did nothing wrong.

Do not be his toy.

Let him see you not care. Chances are, while you're busy pretending to not care, you'll meet someone ten times better.

I know it's easy to say, and you will probably just keep letting him treat you badly;but I really hope you won't. He's a boy. You need a man!

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