A
female
age
30-35,
*upthatsme
writes:Okay PLEASE HELP.So I am 19. Keep in mind I have always had a very old soul and countless people have told me this. I am not your average teenager I should probably be older I act like it...Anyways. I have always liked older guys. Recently, I met a guy at work and he is 29. I gave him my number about a month ago and I am hopelessly in utterly completely infatuated with him. He will call like 4 days in a row (only when he is at work never when he is home) and we will sometimes talk for up to an hour. He randomly stops calling for days, sometimes it even adds up to a week. He then calls and acts like he hasn't been ignoring me for days. Like he did nothing wrong. Anyways, he claims to like me so much, he says he is not married and doesn't have kids but I don't know why he ignores me all the time. Even when I try to text or call he won’t answer. We only talk when he calls. Could he be hiding something? We hung out once, he took me home from work and we kissed goodnight and that’s it. He says he wants to be with me but he stops talking to me for 5 days straight then starts again. I am going crazy I don't know what’s going on. Please help.
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female
reader, Kindpigeonette  +, writes (5 February 2013):
You are asking here because you have a feeling that agrees with all the aunties and uncles here or? You deserve better than this selfish, immature cheater. :p You have only known him one month and he is already being so disrespectful of you. I like older guys too, but our only problem is that we have to shuffle through many immature guys who just see us as objects that are easily molded. Good luck!
A
female
reader, yupthatsme +, writes (14 January 2013):
yupthatsme is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for taking the time to help me out. I am listening to you all because you are all saying the same thing. Thank you so much.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 January 2013):
 He NEVER answer your calls or texts?
BIG HUMONGOUS red flag. Even if he isn't dating someone else, or isn't married, he is still 100% in control of the communication - does THAT sound healthy? At all? And then he ignores you for days?
For your own good, DO NOT have sex with him.
You gut is telling you something is wrong, LISTEN to it, will you?
I'd spend the $10 and do an ID search.
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (13 January 2013):
 He's attached. Whether he's married, in a relationship or got kids I have no idea and couldn't really say. However, you already know something's up here which is why you're asking us.
This is a BIG RED FLAG. Cut all contact and find someone who is available and wants to spend time with you. A relationship via telephone when he's at work is NOT a relationship at all.
Dump him. Find someone else.
Actions speak louder than words. This guy has something else going on and you're not it. But I suspect you already know this deep down but your infatuation (as you put it) is getting the better of you here.
By the way, this guy isn't trustworthy, has no respect for you, and no integrity. He's a loser. Not a REAL man.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 January 2013):
 He does not need to be married to be living with somebody, or even just having a girlfriend / other girls he spend his time with , who are not supposed to know about you.
Regardless, the fact he only calls from work is a bad sign ( One hour chats from work ? very unprofessional, border with dishonest, btw ). Generally is what people do when they are bored at work and need to kill some time, yet would not dream to sacrifice to you one single hour of their precious leisure time.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (13 January 2013):
Hi there. Although he has said he isn't married, nor does he have kids, but can you be sure?
For now at least, unless you find out otherwise, you are going to have to trust him on this.
It does seem rather odd behaviour just the same, don't you think?
There is another possibility, and he may be truthful when he says he isn't married, but he could still have girlfriend.
It's hard to say what's really going on here.
It would certainly explain why he doesn't call you at home though.
Unless he actually asks you out on a date - and soon - well then there is a distinct possibility he might have a girlfriend, who he LIVES with.
And if that is the case, well then it's fairly safe to say that when he calls you at work, that he is just being friendly, but with no real intentions.
There probably is no real sense in asking him why he acts this way, so you'll just have to see whether there are any further developments over time.
In the meantime, don't hold your breath waiting for things to change, as they might NOT.
So what I am really saying here, is just get on with your own life and see your friends and go out and socialize with them and have fun.
And don't start calling him at work. If he wants to keep on calling you - on and off as he does - well then just be friendly towards him, but DON'T give him any encouragement.
Because at this stage, it's hard to really know whether he has any intentions towards taking you out anytime soon.
In any case, time will tell.
So just be very wary from now on, because you don't want to assume anything, and then get very hurt in the process.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (13 January 2013):
 He is married.
And eventually he'll probably tell you that his wife doesn't "understand him" and that his wife is "frigid" r even "doesn't like sex" and so on.
When you phone him, when he is with his wife, he probably looks at the phone and tells his wife, "Oh, that's work, I'm not answering that"
And if you still succumb to his charms?
He will never be able to spend all day on Christmas day with you. Because he will be "working".
The Easter Long Weekend may be a quick say hello on Easter Saturday morning.
And forget about dates on a Sunday night. That time slot will not be available to you.
He is a player and the reason he is so charming is that he's honed his skills over a long time period.
Here is how to spot a Player from AnonymousMale1 – an amazing Uncle on this site.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/10-situations-that-scream-hes-a-player.html
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2013): Does he live in two cities?
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