A
female
age
30-35,
*pendy
writes:Why would my boyfriend do that? am really hurt:(?my boyfriend claims he loves me very much but i dont feel his love..he doesn't make me feel special, he doesn't give me the attention i need.. me on the other hand gives him all the love and attention. when i go out i se something he likes i buy for him him..i make sure he feels loved and special everytime, textng him how i feel about him.when we go out i look nice and smell nice for him but he doesnt even compliment or notice and would spend the whole night checking girls that i look better than..while other guys would be checking me.hes not touchy feely with me...can you beleive yesterday we went to see a movie and he kept staring at girls there and didnt kiss me the whole night:(i tod him we should break up..he says he loves me and wants to learn to be the guy i want.. and begged me to give him another chance.am soo stressed out and hurting:(what should I do?? we're both 20thanks..xx
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female
reader, FluffyPie  +, writes (29 October 2010):
 For how long have you been going out? What's his experience with girls? If that's how he is, I'm afraid that you cannot change him and he cannot "learn to be the guy" you want, people DON'T change, people make COMPROMISE, which is a big difference, it's about NEGOTIATION. You should tell him everything you feel about this situation. Give him ultimatum - if he really loves you, he will stop and think about what he needs to readjust in this relationship. But be careful, don't set unrealistic goals and don't have great expectations from him (or from a person, generally speaking), otherwise you take the risk of ending up disappointed and blaming the others for your own problems. Plus, stop being so available for him and stop buying him things, he's not a kid, for Christ's sake. He's just using you and he's taking advantage of your feelings for him just to have his way. Open your eyes, please, and don't coordinate your life according to this guy. Give him ultimatum, see what happens and, if you feel unhappy, move on with your life. I know it's easier said than done. But if you're going to stay with him without any change in your relationship, you decide FOR YOU to be unhappy. Don't do this to yourself. Best wishes!
A
male
reader, a-g55 +, writes (29 October 2010):
 Im wondering if you are my girlfriend lol. I am the guy in this situation. everything you have described is me except I dont look at other girls so much. I cant explain how he feels but i can explain how I feel in response to that. I love my girlfriend very much but I have had no mother since i was 11. she is alive but she wasnt there to give me the emotional side of my upbringing. I am a heartless person and find it difficult to show emotion. I dont even think i could cry if a loved one died. I havent cried in 8 years. I just cant show emotion. im probably going to write for some advice about it now. i do show love occassionally but it is an effort. ..... but i often wonder. If the tables were turned and she mirrored me. would I then take over and be more loving and she wasnt. Try turning the tables and bieng cold to him. and then get him to do alll the effort in showing you attention. you look at other guys and do what he is doing. TWO WRONGS DO MAKE A RIGHT! con him in to feeling the way you feel now by mirroring his habits.
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A
female
reader, sxcbabiegal +, writes (29 October 2010):
 I think this guy is just messing you around hunny, you could do so much better you really seem like your the only one making an effort with your relationship and if he is not willing to give you the love and affection that you need then you need to just give up on him because you will find someone who adores you more than anything and wouldnt give another woman a second glance because he thinks your the most beautiful woman in the world and this guy obviously doesnt think that. Hes selfish and only seems to care about himself, and its time you started thinking more about yourself rather than him. Good luck x
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A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (29 October 2010):
 He's just playing mind games. And does this by ignoring you and checking out other girls. One, to make you feel like you should try to get his attention more, and two, so you become jealous and want him more. Or he's simply not interested in you anymore and is seeking another love interest. Personally I think it's the first one.
Either way, it's not the true path to successful love and I'm sorry to say but a love with games is not love at all.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2010): If you think he can learn to be a man stay and teach him...love but most people dont change...so the question is does he not give you what you want because he doesnt know how or because he chooses not to...big difference good luck!
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