A
female
age
51-59,
*uz me
writes:I have been in a relationship with this guy for almost 4 yrs. I have caught him cheating on me a couple of times. But he insist that he want me and dont want to loose me. So why would a man cheat on you if he is really in love with you and dont want to loose you. He dont have anything to loose by leaving me because we dont have a house, a child or a marriage together so he could be scott free and walk away if he wanted to. Could he really love me. If so why do he cheat? He tells me im all he need. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Mjfbla +, writes (13 December 2010):
 If you love someone you wouldnt do anything to hurt them. or risk losing them. Him cheating doesnt hurt you? its selfish. even if apart of him does love you he loves himself more. Why would he leave? Most other girls would leave him if he cheated but you are willing to stay with him. HE gets sex and love and watevr else from you and he gets to sleep around with other girls? WHY WOULD HE GIVE THAT UP? You love him, would you cheat on him? Isnt the idea of loving someone that you dont want anyone else? Maybe he does love you, but its not enough for him to stop sleeping around.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 December 2010):
 He does not go be with the woman he cheated on you with, because he does not really love her either. A cheater only loves himself and his convenience.
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female
reader, juz me +, writes (12 December 2010):
juz me is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMjfbla said that if he loved me he wouldnt cheat. Period. So if he dont love me why not leave me. He has nothing to loose. Why stay. Why not go be with whoever he cheated with. You really telling me if he cheat then he dont love me??
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): because he's lying. You can do better.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): I do men can cheat and still love their girlfriends, im sure that is the situation here. i once spoke to a male friend who always used to cheat on his long term girlfreind, and they were in the same situation as yourself, they had no children,no house etc. when i asked him why he did it he simply said " i love my girlfriend, i want to be with her, cheating is just like realising dirty water and the girls mean nothing to me." does he text or speak to the girls afterwards? or does he simply use them? my best advice is to scare him, leave him and stick to it for a while. go out and have your fun and let him know other people want you.
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A
female
reader, Jessypj  +, writes (12 December 2010):
He cheats because he knows he can get away with it over and over again. Don't let him sweet talk you back. Get out there and find a loving man who respects you x
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A
male
reader, Tizzie0612 +, writes (12 December 2010):
 lol OMG let me tell you this brings back memories.you sound like how my girlfriend use to be with me. well i was the cheater. everything you wrote happen to my girlfriend and i said those exact same things.well its what the first person said. for me it was because i was not getting something out of her that i wanted and seeked it elsewhere. But like an adult even though i wasnt at the time i did communicate and it did nothing. For years it was the same thing..after getting caught i would apologize we fight ..get back together..then until that part that i was missing started bugging me again a year a later, i would seek other females to fill in that missing part.Over time we worked things out after lots and lots of talking and true blue honesty.I no longer cheat or flirt with othe women and we have been daating for 6 years now. my advice to you having to be a male in the situation..would be to sit him down and ask him what it is about you that makes him cheat. It might be hard but both you guys need to be completely honest and put everything on the table.I loved my girl as muc has i said i did and he might love you as much as he say he does.Either that or his interest in you just isnt what it use to be. But get to the truth of things before breaking up with him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): He wants you around as a safety net (for when he doesn't have anyone else lined up or maybe because you do stuff for him like have more money than him).. that's why he tells you he doesn't want to lose you even though he cheats on you.
Maybe he actually wants to break up with you but is too cowardly to be a man and do it so he tries to maintain your relationship to prevent drama even though he really has emotionally checked out of it.
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (12 December 2010):
Cheating is pretty inexcusable. Logically (to a person that doesn't cheat) if you're not happy in the relationship and want to go have fun with someone else, then break it off and go have your fun. I've read a few things about why people cheat. There are various reasons...there's of course the reason of: because they can. Some people cheat because that's just simply what they are (cheaters) and know that they can get away with it; which, in your case looks like part of the reason why. Something else I've read time and time again is that he's not getting something fulfilled in your relationship so he goes somewhere else to try to find that. So although he may still love you, he cheats on you because #1. He can get away with it and #2. Possibly because he's not getting something out of you that he wants and seeks it elsewhere instead of communicating with you about it like an adult man should. So cut the douche bag, you've caught him three times (that you know of) and you can do better. Remember, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." After a while you only have yourself to blame.
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female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (12 December 2010):
He cheats because he can. You took him back TWICE, so he knows that he can do whatever , then he just needs some sweet-talking and a few "I love yous " and everything is fine.
Why should he want to walk out and be scot free ? He does not need to make a final choice, he can keep his cake and eat it too.
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female
reader, harleygirl2010 +, writes (12 December 2010):
 I'm sorry to hear about that hun. Idk what to do. Have you tried talking to him and telling him how you feel about it? That your confused by his words and his actions that contradict those words? Last time i had a friend with this problem i told him to sit down and talk to his gf and tell her she needed to decide what she wanted. It worked for him but most people are different. Just talk to him and let him know how you feel and see what he says.
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female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (12 December 2010):
 Want a simple and honest answer? He cheats because you let him, if the first time he had cheated you had dumped him and stuck it he wouldnt think that he could get away with it. He may love you he may not only he knows that but if he can get away with cheating then he will remember that when you decide if this is what you want.
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female
reader, Mjfbla +, writes (12 December 2010):
He will tell you whatever he has to to get what he wants. He gets the love and affection from you, and then he gets to sleep around because so far you havent done anything. If he loved you he wouldnt cheat. Period.
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