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anonymous
writes: me and my boyfriend love each other but sometimes we get verbal and physically abusive when having differences what do we do? sadly loving#21 Reply to this Question
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reader, Wildberries +, writes (23 May 2005):
I strongly suggest anger management classes for both of you, but also you both do it because you both know that in the confines of your relationship this kind of behavior is okay. If it is NOT okay for you anymore, stop doing YOURSELF. Do not allow YOURSELF to do it. It takes two to have a fight. Take a step back and tell him, "I need to cool off and go for a walk.I want to talk about it with you when I am calmer" .BEFORE it gets out of hand, take the initiative to change things for the better. This is a situation that can become a tragedy in a hurry.
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reader, Christie +, writes (22 May 2005):
I think you need to think about whether you really love each other. If you do and are willing to work to stay together, you should try and talk about why you hurt each other when you are angry. Next time you are angry at each other, do not be in the same room right away. Take a deep breath and get your self into a mood to talk things through calmly and unheatedly. If the problem persists, you may wish to look into anger management classes, or a relationship councelor, even a punch bag. Sorry to hear about your problem, take care.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2005): So sorry to hear that, one thing I must add, you are both abusive, if you were dating anyone with self respect, would not stand for such behavior. You have to go back and think, why is it that you feel that you must act as such, when and where in your past, you have made a decision that you will be abusive towards others. This is a patern of behavior ... who did you learn it from, growing up? Parents? Must stop, love and respect is very important in a relationship, when you love someone you need to realize that you will have to look that person in the eye again, when you are angry walk away, cool down, bite your tongue :-)
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