A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:why do some people who are nasty and cold and who have inflated egos with good looks get every thing? some like who is nice,quiet,hard working get nothing in life only disappointment and rejection and failure.why do do bullies and meanies get every thing right and victims of bullies get disspppoimentfailure and rejection get nothing but more hurt and more pain? guy that was rejected to me 2 yaers ago in nighclub who does the same marttial art as me.in the same club as me.i feel i can never go back there join another club is out of the question.i had to leaave the sport becasue he hurt me and never said sorry,the guy has a huge ego hes cute looking,shallow,vain,boastful,always ogling girls,always showing off. very independent,very ambitious ,very select of his friends and always boosting about all the countless girlfriends he has. alwys lockeroom taling with lads,very socialable always at nighclubs and parties,pubs, and top all it he in to computers without the nerdy glasses and attutitde .who i so thought was nice guy but he isn,ti thinks he fancies himself a bad boy if he does he make great job out of it,how is guys like that never get there come up ons,if any thing they get rewarded for it .they don,t care about anybody but themselves they care that they hurt you feeling or not,he barely acknowledged me if not at all.the make matters worse he got a new girlfriend and 3rd day and now giant ego to match . well i got no boyfriend and no new dan .all i got is counseling over all the hurt that he caused me is all i got and all before him,i am very sensitive person,who very quiet and easily hurt by people .i honesty though he was nice genuine guy but he treated me like pure dirt like i came from his shoe.i love martial arts and i like guys.but i can,t do it any more ,after being rejected by him who obviously has no conscience and constineous on it make no difference to him.after him i dont want a boyfriend any more or try any more. hs 29 years old going on 30 and i am 28 years old going on 29 years old.i never had a boyfriend and being kissed .all the guys i have liked are like him. so now i rather be old maid.then to get any more rejection which i can no longer bare.so have some fun questions of guys,the universe,how life is that.please a good few answers. sorry about the complex questions i just need some answers
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, TrueSoul +, writes (16 May 2010):
Im not sure if you're still looking for the answer to this question but I wouldn't buy too much into the previous post concerning "confidence" and whatnot. Its just the way of the world to be truthful. Bad people usually get what they want, why? Because we are in a generation where its all about what sounds good and looks good. So when you see TV shows like "sex in the city" where they think its ok to cheat, music videos, and other propaganda. People think ifs its ok to do it on TV its ok to do it in real life. I've experience almost every type of evil in the world. I've seen all types of "bad boys" and "bad girls" who cheated and now are happily married. Neither have any regrets for what they did. Well GOD get them back? Well that remains to be seen but so far evil rules with an iron fist. So until you see or meet any testimonies its just how it is. The Devils time is short. I would suggest surround yourself around positive people who understands you because this crazy world can drive you crazy!
A
male
reader, steaknife +, writes (31 December 2008):
from my experiences is has nothing to do with being a "bad guy", and mostly to do with the guy being confident. most of the so called "nice guys" aren't exactly confident in themselves, and usually are clingy. the "bad guy" usually is confident in himself, which seems from my end an attractive quality. and they usually aren't clingy. that is my best guess.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2008): thanks for all your help but time has passed on for me and nothing helps thanks anyway, but it's no good.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2008): I have been in a situation similiar to this and I kept diaries of the things that I did and he did. When I read back on them a few years later I thought to myself - what an idiot I was and I saw how I looked - desperate and pathetic. I too went for counselling with him and it made him see me as a loser and sad. I had background baggage that was causing me to constantly crave rejection. I am muh older and wiser now and will not allow anyone to treat me like dirt.
The quicker you snap out of this mode you are in the quicker you will find someone you loves you for you. Its always better to test a mans love first.
I wish you all the best but do try to stay positive and throw yourself into your work or hobby or voluntary work. Men hate it when they thing they are the ecentre of your life.
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A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (31 December 2008):
 YOU NEED TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF! START taking control of your life and STOP being the VICTIM. Ignore people like this guy you are so upset about. They sometimes get their biggest kicks out of hurting someone JUST LIKE YOU!
Find a new sport interest or look for other clubs with friendlier people. What you must realize is there is usually at least one BAD APPLE in every bunch, so don't let that BAD APPLE SPOIL all of your experiences. Find something you can do well and just do it! Get our self-esteem back. Get counseling if you are feeling too down so it doesn't get worse, Look in your mirror everyday and tell yourself that you are a good person, you are worthy and you deserve the best! Believe it!
Don't give this jerk another moment of you thought. Move on to something better to talk about of think about. Your personality traits will constantly leave you with the same issues until you change the patterns on how you see and react toward things. Until you stand up for yourself and don't let this person see it bothers you, he will continue to treat you the same way. By ignoring him, you don't have to react to his rude actions and comments. Don't give him the time of day, not even a glance. Your personality is probably drawing these same type of men to you. Change those things that make you feel inadaquate and unworthy. Learn to be more self-confident and less easy to upset. Get help for this and again STOP BEING A VICTIM and LEARN TO BE A VICTOR!
Ask GOD to help you. He is by your side.
Have you ever heard of the phrase God's gonna get you for that?
Well just rememeber to all those people who abuse,neglect, mistreat, ridicule and harm you in any other way........This phrase....There ain't no place to run and hide cause HE knows where you're at!
They WILL certainly get their just reward and you can REST your HEAVY HEART ON THAT!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2008): boys i need you help to answer my question specfific answer to my specifi question.NOT general question that is beatiful and every nice which that is not true.
no flowery answers .specific answer to percise question that is in the question area.
flowery answers DON,T HELP ME ITS DISTRACTS FROM THE QUESTION THAT BEEN ASKED.
presise answers needed
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2008): orginal post :
no i don,t want general answer .i need answer to my question.not answer to heading on top.answer to my question on this guy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2008): Hi there. So sorry you have been hurt, hun. You are looking for support and you needed to get a lot, off your chest. And we understand that...because that's what we do, here--we listen..we advise. Do you really need answers, to your questions? I know a ton of nice, people who do have wonderful, happy lives, who are hard working, successful and ambitious. But egotisical, and hurtful to others? No they aren't. Take what you have learned from this hurtful situation and apply it to your future. Become a stronger, wiser person, and know, this has happened to us all, at some point in our lives. So we all empathize with your situation.
All I can say, is... not all men are like this cad, you dated. The good guys are out there. You need to believe that you can be independent single, happy and empowered enough to enjoy life, on your own and with good friends. Someday that special guy will walk into your life, but just know it's okay to be single and fancy free.
So my advice is that, in the future, use your head before engaging your heart...think rationally and be very selective. Women are notorious for jumping headlong into relationships, blindly, without seeing the guy for who he truely is. Look before you leap, ladies. Take your time, do not jump into bed readily with a cad, do not engage your emotions, quickly. That will get you in trouble, everytime! Always look out for yourself, first. Make your feelings and thoughts, a top priority, here.
Heal and recover from this. Take all the time you need. Call in support from trusted family and friends, to guide you through this bleak time. . And when that's done, you jump back on the bandwagon and get out there and live your life, with positive energy and happiness. Believe in yourself and make choices that work for 'you', not anyone else. Good luck and have a great and wonderful 2009!
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A
male
reader, Ted-ster +, writes (31 December 2008):
Why is that good girls are always attracked to jerks who treat them like crap? I think that is likely some good guy who has pined for you, and then sees you turning your life upside down for this jerk! Do you see the irony here?!?
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