A
male
age
41-50,
*ommy2k7
writes:Why do some women choose 'bad boys' over 'normal' guys, as nine times out of ten, they get hurt in the end? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): "Bad Boys" are the ones with the best genetics, and "nice guys" are the ones that stand a better chance of being a good father figure & raising a decent child.
So women are built to spend their teens & early 20s getting pregnant with Bad Boys, and then tire of them and go shop for a Nice Guy to raise the Bad Boy's children with her.
It's the best of both worlds for producing ideal children. Bad Boy genetics with Nice Guy upbringing.
So women get what they want. And Bad Boys get what they want. But Nice Guys are in the worst position of all three. They get to do by far the most dirty work for the least reward.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008): yeah. Nice guys are hard to find. Sometimes when you grow up shitty nice guys can make you feel inferior. I have seen this happen to alot of people. Also bad guys. sometimes they just are plain old hoarbags or dickhead jerks. but often times they are not really that bad if you are cunning enough to get to the center like a charms blow pop. hmmm anyways. people all mix and match funny and what one person may see as bad or good someone else might pen somethig else. as for the original poster. If you really want her. why don't you try asking her. just you know just be like hey whats up? if you don't wanna ask try the art of seduction. Like picj around at diffrent stuff and see what she likes. either you guys will hook up or mabye you will get boerd with trying to seduce her. good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2008): Some girls pick bad guys for the same reason as most guys pick the big tittied blonde bimbo over the smart, cute petite brunette.
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male
reader, tommy2k7 +, writes (3 March 2008):
tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I bet she asks me back when I've got another girlfriend! Also to the last reply, I agree, why would girls choose (of course, they dont know yet) to get hurt?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2008): It is simple, the bad guys work hard at it. A girl can't say yes until you ask her. While you are thinking about her feelings the bad guy is thinking of what to say that gets her to drop her panties.
And because he works hard at it he gets the results, learns from it and will become even better at it, while you are still wondering what that girl who smiled at you was thinking.
So for women you got two sets of guys. One who approaches you relentlessy and says all the right things and the others who seem almost dis-intrested in you.
Don't forget, we men like bad girls too. a girl who just for once takes the bloody initiative and asks US out. What man doesn't have a fantasy about a woman seducing them, pinning you down and having their way with you? It is easy to explain, courtship is hard so it is nice ifthe other one does all the work.
Bad guys are easy for girls to get. With a nice guy she has to talk to him, let him know she might care, wonder if he is intrested, drop hints that she might not say no if he asks.
With a bad guy all she has to do is spread her legs.
Why do we eat BAD McDonalds when a healthy meal is so much better for us, and tastes better as well? Because bad food is easier.
Ask around and see how many girls have ever actually been approached by nice guys. Don't blame her for picking an asshole for friday night when only assholes asked her.
There are other factors as well, excitement, the typical female thought that they can change the guy, and in the worsed case an upbringing that makes the girl not know that something better might exist.
Oh and for the women who answer that they choose a bad guy for temporary excitement, remember one thing, nice guys are easily frightened off. If a guy sees you in a relation with a bad guy (or for that matter just another guy) he may very well put you on his "occupied" list and you will never get off of it.
Nice guys don't go after women who are in a relationship.
Frankly dude, give up on the girl. because the real truth is that there are PLENTY of girls out there looking for a nice guy but that nice girl right now only sees you as chasing a bad girl.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (29 February 2008):
 She will split with him, get back with him, split with him, get back with him etc etc etc, because she is attracted to the rollercoaster. Until she is a lot older, it wont dawn on her to want anything better.
Dont stick around for the fallout, that just makes you want a bad girl. And thats just as bad.
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (29 February 2008):
 girls may seem to love being with the bad guy - but they always end up with the nice guy. always. girls like the chase, the mystery, something that keeps them on their toes and excited. bad boys can present that - they are spontaneous and defo pose a chase. to be honest i dunno why girls like guys that treat them badly - ive never wanted that, and have never had that. some women dont know any better to be honest. to me 'bad boys' are those who get in trouble, are mysterious and you dont really know anything about them - i HAVE had this and while it seems exciting and sexy for a while, the fantasy is better then the reality. ive been with my boyf for 4yrs and he's a great guy, nice - but not too nice!! if she picks bad guys all the time, then leave it be, her issues lie deeper obviously
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A
male
reader, tommy2k7 +, writes (29 February 2008):
tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo do you think they'll split up again?
She's a nice girl, but if I lived 3 hrs away from a partner, I wouldnt go back if they asked me!
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (29 February 2008):
Hi
Without meaning to sound nasty, it TENDS to be due to upbringing. Being used to a tough home life. Being treated pretty crud by parents, and they dont know any different. So are attracted to the ups and downs a bad boy brings.
I had a good upbringing, didnt experience any violence, and our brilliant mum, if anything, shielded us from lifes ups and downs. So i tend to only go for nice guys. I dont do bad guys. They are a turn off for me, the whole arrogant, selfish, not knowing where you are with them thing, would just send me demented.
Unfortunately there is a down side to having such a sheletered upbringing, you dont cope as well as some people with lifes ups and downs. And really prefer a mill pond lifestyle to a choppy sea. To some it would be termed as boring. Not me.
C xxxxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2008): Tommy,
Eyes is right, she has deep problems within herself. Some females go back to what they are familiar with, due to low self-worth and immaturity, on their part. Nice guys make the best long term, happy partners. The bad guys do not. If you are good to females and show them some respect, hold out for a healthy, more mature and sensible female that appreciates that. She will come along...just give it time. Good luck.
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male
reader, tommy2k7 +, writes (29 February 2008):
tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhen I say the one she's with now is a 'bad boy' he's nowhere near as bad as the one she dumped me for, but she was with him before she met me (they had split when she met me) but she went back to him; the reason why they split first time was she lives 3 hours away from him and he hardly went to see her, now she's moved, but it's still 3 hrs away, but my fear is she'll get hurt again
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (29 February 2008):
 She ain't right in the head so you are better off without her. Trust me she would be nothing but trouble.
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male
reader, tommy2k7 +, writes (29 February 2008):
tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe bad boy who my ex was dating treated her like a piece of c**p, or so she said, and didn't want anything to do with her when he knew he was having her baby. She's now going out with another 'bad boy' instead of choosing me - the nice guy'!
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (29 February 2008):
Me too, so that makes it two times out of ten!
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male
reader, tommy2k7 +, writes (29 February 2008):
tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy ex was 18, I'm a 'good guy', she dumped me for a 'bad boy', now she's dumped him cos he mistreated her!
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female
reader, hello1 +, writes (29 February 2008):
 I chose a nice guy. Guess I'm the 1 out of the 10
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male
reader, Dr Vendetta +, writes (29 February 2008):
 Because women arn't real people like you and me.
They're pretty and shallow and like being treated like crap.
"Oh no.. Dr. V. how can you say that i've been with my boy fie for years and he's woverly and would never ever dooo such a thing..."
Thats as maybe but anyone responding to me make sure you search your past and your soul and tell me that you have NEVER been with someone who has treated you like crap and you stayed with them because you were either too stupid or too " inlove" or simply love being someones bitch.
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female
reader, Serinity +, writes (29 February 2008):
 I can only speak from experience, but I'd say it's the excitement. "Bad boys" bring a certain level of excitement to thrill seekers. We're not thinking about the end result we are diving into the unknown. I learned the hard way, and yes, a lot of times it ends in heartache but to some the experience is worth it. For some it's enough to teach us that relationships are not all about excitement and the unknown. Now that I've grown up and learned the hard way I would definitely chose the "normal guy". For some it's a learning experience. If you consider yourself to be one of the "normal guys" don't change a thing. You will find the right woman who will appreciate you for who you are. The good guys always win in the end. God bless you sweetie!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2008): The only reason I have done it is when I haven't been looking for anything either too serious or long term. I am 27 though, so I am not naive. When I get into a relationship I pretty much know what I am getting into. I am very perceptive, I can tell in the first 5 minutes if he is sincere and good or nothing but trouble. Cause some girls, are just really naive and fall for bad guys expecting the world and are extremely disappointed when he lets them down. In my case, I am usually the one who disappoints the bad boy. Cause I don't ask for more than I already know I can expect from them. That actually makes them head over heels, makes them work a little harder. I guess I am kind of a bad girl myself.
But to be honest, I don't think I could marry a guy like this. I'll date him, but I probably won't marry him. I really would like to end up with someone who is reliable. Who I can absolutely count on, who's not going to keep me waiting or guessing. Treats me like a queen. And I don't think any bad boy could ever meet my standards, no matter how much he tried.
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