A
female
age
51-59,
*inda_loves
writes:I want 2 know why some men cheat on there wifes? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2010): men cheat for pleasure and satisfaction!!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2010): Men (and women) cheat because they can and becuase they want to. they also say i did not want to hurt my partner therefore i kept quiet. Bullshit. they lie and cheat and keep quiet because they do not want to face the consequences. they care nothing for their spouses. they want their spouses to keep house and kids and home life in order but they want a whore to f around with. as for the women they want the hb to pay the bills and maintain a lifestyle while they f around and do perverted sexual acts with their lover while not permitting their partner the same priviledge.i see the hypocricy in that so called christian/religious people. they think they can hide, they hoodwonk the comminuty and they actually believe they can get away with it while maintaining their high "principles". Makes me sick.For for men who cheat their wives are deveatated when they find out. The men turn around and blame their wives for their cheating then the wives start blaming themselves that their hbs have strayed. Men are very manipulative and cunning in this regard. they shift the blame and their wives pay the price. the worse thing is that the man still expects the wive to have sex with him when his affair is revealed. his expectations are unrealistic and the cheated wives pay heavily. they are damned if they do or don't resume sexual activities with thie hb.as for the faithless women out there, they expect their hbs to be cash cows , help around the house and see to their every need.Men and women who have affairs:-are selish-manipulative-cunning-amoral-vindictive-shift blame -destroy lives and family-leave a trail of dysfunctional kids and family unit-leave a trail of betrayal, lies, deceit and devastation.in the end they need to ask: was this pain, this humiliation, this devastation, the betrayal worth the few moments of sexual gratification. in the end was fing up the family unit worth it?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2010): Regarding why women have affairs with married men, it's the interest in wanting something that you can't have, or shouldn't have. I personally never had this interest, but I've known other women who have this problem. When I had my affair, I didn't know the other man was married. That was a very difficult thing for me when I found out, after the affair ended. He knew I was married though, so obviously he had the same interest in wanting something you're not suppose to have.
Addressing the other topic...You know, survival of the fittest is really something we should move past. The cells in our body don't work that way to create us - they all have to work together in cooperation for our bodies to exist, so I think that's a better observation of nature mirroring how we should live as a species. The only time when your cells begin to compete is when you're sick, like a cancer, so do we all want to be sick??
...............................
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (19 May 2010):
 Why do women choose to sleep with married men?
q is onto something. For the more detailed answer I suggest reading The Origin of the Species by Darwin.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2010): I am 40, have been married for 10 years. My wife is outstanding, supportive, and kind. At the same time, I feel like I am a kid in a candy store when I look around. There are many beautiful women in this world. I have never cheated on anyone, but the temptation has always been there. Does this work for an answer?
...............................
A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (19 May 2010):
 Rock on, q! Bravo, well said!! You continually amaze and impress me, beautiful....downright righteous!
...............................
A
female
reader, MonksDaBomb +, writes (19 May 2010):
 Here's a question for you all - sort of relevant to the poster's question:
Why is it a man sleeps around, he is considered a "player" and is highly touted by his male peers, but when a woman sleeps around, she is considered slut and is dirtier than dirt?
Just another one of those stupid society stereotypes?
...............................
A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (19 May 2010):
Q is outstanding in his field....again.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (19 May 2010):
 I think perhaps q is pointing out that the question could just as easily have been, "Why do some women cheat on their husbands?" Or even more politically correct, "Why do people cheat?"
My guess is the poster is experiencing something that she is struggling to understand. That's why the question was posted. "Why?" is the question we ask when we don't understand why something is the way it is.
Poster, has any of this helped? Are you getting the answers you seek?
...............................
A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (19 May 2010):
I fail to see how that is even relevant to the question.
...............................
A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (19 May 2010):
Oh sure, it's always the shameless hussy who led him into temptation, the poor, mindless, insipid sop!
...............................
A
male
reader, The Great Mark Says +, writes (19 May 2010):
 ya not gonna lie, a guy cheats and we are stupid and wired like Neanderthals. but if a woman cheats then they are under heavy distress and emotional pain. there for making it ok.
theres no doubt that some guys cheat. i know some guys that have cheated, continued to cheat or still are cheating. i also know a guy that cheated and actually learned from it(holy education batman! men learning? we must be in a parallel universe). at the same time, i actually know more women that have cheated then men. im not here to bash women at all. women are gods greatest gift. it just seems like everyone focuses on the men cheating and letting the ladies get away with if. but im sorry ladies you cant blame it on the Ah-Ah-Ah-Alcohol or emotional distress. cheating is cheating, its not right no matter the gender or the reason.
...............................
A
male
reader, The Great Mark Says +, writes (19 May 2010):
theres way to many reasons that some guys cheat: mid-life crisis, boredom, no self control, etc...
but hey we're not all bad, i like to think i actually came out relatively ok and have self control. might have came out of the cosmic oven a little to early but i still got control over the little man.
...............................
A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (19 May 2010):
See? q shore is one smart ol' buzzard, aintee?
...............................
A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (19 May 2010):
Hence my point is established as credible.
...............................
A
female
reader, MonksDaBomb +, writes (19 May 2010):
"penises on speed dial"
Ha ha, that's classic, q!!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (19 May 2010):
Oh, certainly not you, q! Never! Yor on'a th' gud uns!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2010): I agree with "CaringGuy." Some need is not being met in the relationship. I just recently had an affair and it was because I felt like I couldn't be myself around my husband. Over time, I changed as a person and he ultimately didn't want to see the change and accept it, so I, by chance, met another man and had an affair. Turned out he had a family too, which I found out after the affair ended. From what I gathered from him, he seemed to have changed as well and wasn't comfortable telling other people who he had become either. He often said, you know, I tell you things I can't tell anyone...that's a good indicator that they changed. In retrospect, I think keeping a healthy dialog between spouses is very important in preventing this. Judgement is the last thing you need as well. If you see your spouse changing as a person, observe it, talk about it and determine whether you can embrace the new them. Don't try to bully them into the person they were when you first met. After you've been with someone for 10 or 20 years, personal change happens. We're not the same people when we were from 15 to 30, so why expect it to be different from 25 to 40. We're constantly in motion of becoming something new all the time, so it's important to have flexibility in ourselves and each other.
Of course, so people think that it's some instinctual behavior in men. Personally, I think that's called sex addiction and that's a fear of intimacy. Sleeping with prostitutes and having frequent one-night stands are a sure sign of that. A long term affair, an emotional affair, applies to what I discussed above, but this other type of cheating - sleeping around frequently - is a form of sex addiction. This type of person has emotionally shut down, lost all confidence and self respect and is looking for constant validation through sex and attention from the opposite sex. Often times, there are previous issues of abuse or addictions (alcohol? drugs? gambling?) with this type of person. They need professional help to get better.
I hope this helps your gain perspective.
...............................
A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (19 May 2010):
I think this a lot like asking "How long is a battleship...true or false?" Personally, I prefer the 2 extremes of this: the first being that it's some weird genetic programming thing a la' be fruitful and multiply, as in the animal kingdom, males are driven to pass on their genetic material, some species to the point of death like the preying mantis that promptly eats the guy after copulation. Helluva an idea, ain't it? Anyhoo, the other end of the spectrum: men aren't as advanced in developmental capacity as we are. Their brains are hard wired differently, whereas our heads and our asses are wired together, theirs aren't. Then there's this: genuinely BAD quality. AMORAL, guiltless, thoughtless, low self esteem which is assuaged (theoretically) by the practice of belt-notching, and a whole plethora of other $5 words, I could come up with. Maybe it's just as simple as dipping the wick just feels good? I'm not sure there exists a ONE answer to your question. In all fairness, not all men are mindless thugs who cheat.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2010): You do get some men and women who cheat, not because of a need but just because they can. I don't know maybe they were 'players' before they were married and they just can't stop.
...............................
A
female
reader, MonksDaBomb +, writes (19 May 2010):
CaringGuy has it right - someone isn't happy in the marriage and wants to go and find that missing piece to become happy. It doesn't necessarily have to be sex - although it usually is - just some companionship, where the person who is cheating thinks to him/herself "finally, someone who understands me."
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (19 May 2010):
For the same reason that some wives cheat on their husbands. A certain need is not being met. Whether it's sex, or emotion. A need is not being me, so the cheating parter goes and searches for it elsewhere. Often, it's a selfish need that's not being met, though on rare occasions I can understand someone cheating.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2010): MOST men cheat on their wives... its just that they are wired differently and think more with the smaller head than the big one.
...............................
|
