A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Why do so many men have double standards? My b/f is always clicking on sexy videos of hot females in his free time, a habit which greatly annoys me. So I decided one day to simply set up my own account and start watching sexy videos of hot men. He got so jealous and threw a fit; said I didn't love him anymore. What's up with the double standards? It's okay for him to check out hot females, but it's not okay for me to check out hot men?.....What's wrong with this picture. Everyone tells me that porn is normal and okay and that many men do it. Funny how they sure as hell don't like it when we do it. I really don't know how to handle his hostility. I've told him if he's going to do it, so will I. I don't think it should be a problem, but apparently it is a problem. Any suggestions?
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female
reader, Blue_Angel0316  +, writes (26 November 2008):
 I am thinking the phrase So many men...didn't include All the men. :-) Thank Goodness that they aren't all like that. For some reason it seems that it's just a man's way. Not every man but alot of them.
There is a book that talks about this.
Men are from Mars and
Women are from Venus
Men are different from women. They tend to view things so differently. I read what the guys posted and you should take heed. There is ultimately more to it all BUT they have the basic ideas posted.
He can accept YOUR view, deal with the consequences of HIS habit or you can find another man. That choice is YOURS.
You can accept HIS view, deal with the consequences of YOUR habit, or you can stay and just keep dealing. You probably aren't going to chance his view. Not easily anyway. Probably NEVER!
Or YOU could SUGGEST that you VIEW TOGETHER and he just might go for it!
However it sounds like this really isn't your thing and you only do it to get back at him! I would suggest YOU STOP..and if he continues, maybe you need to rethink your relationship with him since you have issues with him viewing PORN in the first place.
Shaking my head.........fighting over watching porn...you should be keeping yourselves one to another.....But that's just my opinion.
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2008): Oh god I have the exact same thing with my boyfriend right now. I've always liked men... you know the hunky types, six packs, big biceps. I watch a lot of gay male porn etc etc and my boyfriend watches porn and has girly posters on his walls. When he found out that I had a collection of videos and pictures of sexy men on my computer he FLIPPED OUT and threatened to break up with me. I was sitting there like... 'wtf!' It doesn't make sense and he didn't see the double standard at all. So we fight about it a lot. It sucks
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (25 November 2008):
 I assume you've asked him about the double standard he's displaying? You did point out that your watching male videos was a mirror of his watching girly videos? He doesn't have a leg to stand on, and he knows it, so he's trying emotional blackmail by saying you don't love him.
Ask him why he gets to be hostile and you don't. And maybe he's not a terribly reasonable man, which suggests that perhaps he's not really a keeper.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2008): because most of us are selfish pigs...so reflect that back to him.
I suppose the first thing you should ask him, "why honey, how does it make you feel when I watch other men?" Then ask him "how do you suppose I feel when you watch other women?"
If he does not understand then you have two choices, if you want to keep him make him watch with you, or - tell him to get lost. I know it's more complicated than that sometimes, but really he should be putting you first in a real relationship, as you should put him before yourself. But it HAS to work both ways or it's not going to work.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2008): It is a problem, as you're in a relationship with him, and it's definitely not funny.
Pornography is fine, as long as you're single, or not in a serious relationship.
To be honest though, most of the women I know think these "hot men" images are rather corny and cliched... but if you like them that's your preference.
Tell him it's either pornography or you, simple as that.
AC
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A
male
reader, ryandude18  +, writes (25 November 2008):
 When you say "Why do so many men have double standards?" don't you mean why does my boyfriend have double standards? I am really upset at how men are seen in this light, I would always ask a girl if she was all right with that sort of thing first. Maybe you should be more choosy about who you go out with?????????don't mean to insult
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