A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:why when people see a younger women with a older man they thing shes a gold digger? im 24 years old and my husband is 45, i met him when i was 17 years old. we started dating soon after never had sex or anything will until after we got married he waited on me until i was ready to have sex with him. we have a great friendship he my husband i love with all my heart and my best friend. people are really rude mostly people around my age call me gold diggers saying thing like im gain from him using him. yes he is well off, his mother and sisters all hate me and and thing he is sick from marring me because of our age difference and he told his mother and his family not to miss treat but they still find ways to miss treat me. im deal with the mother and sister inlaw from hell i dont know what to do help
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female
reader, sammy1986  +, writes (6 July 2011):
hi congratulations on the preganancy hope everything goes smoothly good luck :D
A
female
reader, MonksDaBomb +, writes (6 July 2011):
 No, I don't think you're being harsh. You need some protection, cause who's to say she's going to do it again, especially after finding out you're pregnant. She needs some time to cool off, perhaps go to anger management like you said, and hopefully she can be a loving grandmother to your child. All the best to you!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi all let me start off by saying i talked to my husband to press charges on his mother for assaulting me i didnt press charges on her but i was able to get a restraining order on her and his mother is not allowed at our home into she under go anger management just found out im pregnant my husband happy and cant wait to become a dad i want his mother to get some help im not going to subject me nor my unborn child into violence when she gets the help she needs i will drop my restraining order she will be my childs grandmother after all do you all thing im being hursh
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A
male
reader, Hugh.J +, writes (2 July 2011):
 I'm assuming that you weren't scalded by the coffee? Nevertheless, it still counts as an assault, injury or not, because of the potential to do you harm, as that was her intention. Go ahead and involve the police; she deserves it.
Maybe your husband will then see her for what she is?
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A
female
reader, sammy1986 +, writes (2 July 2011):
i would tell your husband what she has done and tell him you don't want her coming round anymore if he wants to see her he will have to go to her house to see her. it is your home as well
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhow can i tell my husband in a nice way i dont want his mother at our house
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questiontoday was unfortuantly upseting my mother inlaw came over to speak to me my husband was not at home so i felt uncomfortable letting her the house because how she treated in the past i made coffee to see what on her mind trying to talk didnt last long to wrok out our differes it soon became ugly to make a long story short my husbands mother throw hot coffee on me i want to have her arrested im done being nice what do you all think help i love my husband with all my heart but i dont want his mother at our house anymore
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A
female
reader, sammy1986 +, writes (1 July 2011):
i would ignore his family. people are so judgemental tell them it is none of their bussiness and concentrate on your relationship with your husband if you start to argue back with his family it may cause problems between you and your husband the best thing really is to just ignore them it will piss them off that you don,t react to it and eventually they will stop hassling you good luck
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A
female
reader, MonksDaBomb +, writes (1 July 2011):
I am currently engaged to a man 40 years my senior (I'm 27) and I agree with Hugh - just ignore the crowd and show them how much you love each other. There are always people who have to put in their two cents. Age is just a number.
I remember one time I was shopping with my fiance and I forgot my wallet so he had to pay for it. The cashier said "that's what fathers are for." It didn't hurt my fiance's or my feelings at all and we had a good laugh about it afterwards.
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A
female
reader, jordan123 +, writes (1 July 2011):
I am in a partnership with an older man. He is 62, I am 47. I too, even though we are older get an awful lot of looks and comments. I look quite young for my age and I suppose he looks quite a bit older than me.
For me it has been a case of rising above all the comments and the glances,its so hard sometimes. Im very proud of my partner, he is a very elegant man and I fancy him to bits.
Keep your life rich with friends who do not judge, who think outside the box! as long as you and your partner are happy in yourselves it really doesn't matter what other people think. Its your life. As for family, it is difficult because you have to see them from time to time, I would say keep your visits short, maybe take another couple (who don't judge) to social occasions, if you can, just for an added bit of support. Miss treating you is not to be tolerated under any circumstances, you don't have to put yourself there.
I have some very good friends who have had their jibes at our age difference but we've got to a point where we have a bit of a joke about it now. Take it easy!
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A
female
reader, muso888 +, writes (1 July 2011):
I'm afraid you are going to have to just ride it out. The only way these shallow minded people are ever going to believe you are a loving wife is to see that you stay with your man over time. I'm sorry you are having a hard time, but congratulations on marrying the love of your life! Try to focus on that and you'll soon find you will have the power and status of a wife that you deserve from his family. Keep your head down and just do your best. Surround yourself with good friends and enjoy your relationship. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Hugh.J +, writes (1 July 2011):
The only thing that you can do is to show his family and anyone else who is antipathetic towards your relationship just how much you love each other - actions speak more loudly than words......
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A
female
reader, hopeFUL_romantic_13  +, writes (1 July 2011):
Hi. It's nice to know that you married an older man who never had any intention of using you for sex seeing how many relationships like your where that is the issue. Unfortunately pretty much all couples with a big age gap have these problems. A lot of people aren't going to think that you actually love him and he you. Its just hard for them to believe that a younger women could ever to be attracted to a man who's going to grow old while she'll still be young. There's definitely the family's resentment because they probably see you as a slut - not saying you are one. Society views your relationship as being incredibly inappropriate. These issues will continue I'm afraid. People can be very judgmental. Don't let the name calling and the miss treatment bother you though. Who cares what other people think? You have found a man who loves you and who you love back. That's all that matters. Cherish it.
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