A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:When I go out with family or by myself, people look and stare at me like i'm an museum exhibit. This really irritates, upsets, and angers me. They stare at me for more than 3 seconds. When i'm at a restaurant with my family people just stare at me even when I get to my table and sit down. They still stare at me. After the meal, I got up and walked over to the waitress to hand her my payment, almost everyone in the restaurant was staring at me when I got up and went back to my table to sit. Also, I heard laughter when I sat down. Why am I receiving all of this attention? I also get stared at when I am walking around, doing shopping, eating, at school, in class, and etc. I really hate this. Its not like i'm asking for this to happen. I dress appropriately and don't intend to bring attention to myself. I am not on drugs or being paranoid. Why do people do this? I find this extremely rude and upsetting.
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female
reader, Natasha Elizabeth  +, writes (10 August 2016):
I have had the same problem over the years. Some stare to the point that they trip when walking, recently a group of three stopped to stare as i approached their direction. I've tried a resting bitch face look but all in vain. They will always stare no matter where i go.
A
male
reader, fran888  +, writes (4 June 2012):
hello there: You might be getting this attention for being attractive to other people, is not anything you have done you were born beautiful. You say this bothers you? I understand that, but what can you do about it?. You can do something... learn to live with it. this is your problem in life? come on!. if you look straight ahead, you would not even notice the people staring at you. take care, God bless you.
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A
male
reader, marknize +, writes (25 October 2010):
People stare at you because you are pretty and may have a unique look to you. I know this because they stare at me too. I'm a boy but I cute enough to pass for a girl. Even though I dress like a boy and act like a boy. I have a unique look and its not the every day face that you see. And people won't say anything because they have to much hate and insecureity to tell another peerson how beautiful or handsome they are so they just stare at them to make them feel as if you did something wrong or make you feel like its wrong to be more attractive than the average human being.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2009): is cause your a girl I get it too love I think most women do =)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): People stare at me a lot too. When I'm with my family there's always somebody who is focused on me. I have nothing particular on me for them to stare at, but they're always staring at me. One time I was with my 9 year old brother and he even asked out of the blue "why's everyone staring at you?" and another time when I was at the airport my mom told me " that girl was staring at you like she knows you". I don't mind it though because people smile at me afterwards or it's just neutral. I think maybe I look very calm or friendly- I don't know, good-looking maybe lol. People always commented on how pretty my eyes were-maybe that's what stands out. Anyway it's not a bad thing. Maybe you have a unique feature that stands out about you. If you're mad about it, maybe you have some social anxiety. If you're content and comfortable with yourself, I would take it as a compliment and be happy.
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A
female
reader, Legioness  +, writes (20 May 2009):
 Ugh I know the feeling, try being a teenage goth girl who's also really attractive (apparently) but i've got used to it, I guess I take it more of a compliment nowadays and take pride in my difference to everyone else :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2009): Your either really ugly or really attractive. Pretty girls are everywhere so you must be really stunning or the other way!
I feel for you, cause I hate it when I see people looking at me. I like being in the background. Suits me just fine!
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A
male
reader, Who +, writes (17 May 2009):
 To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, “The only thing worse than being stared at is not being stared at.”
Several decades ago, Sports Illustrated had an article about their top swim suit model that year, (Elle McPherson?) She had learned to how to “frump-up” her appearances to avoid being stared at, and in her case avoid being accosted. Muss her hair, wear baggy, miss-matched clothes, even put on make-up that made her less attractive. Just the opposite of what most young women learn to do. It seemed to work; the article showed her trying to buy fruit from a stand on a Manhattan Street corner and the seller was ignoring her. Maybe she over did it a bit.
Perhaps you could try the same thing?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2009): I'm actually kind of relieved to read your question, because I experience the exact same thing. It really gets to me too.I think all of the other people who have posted a message are spot on with what they say. People do look at other people, I think it is human nature. And I agree that maybe you are actually pretty, or interesting looking. If I see a person, like if I am on the bus, and I think they are realy attractive, I find myself staring at them a lot. I try to tell myself not to, because I hate it when it happens to me. But it is really difficult! And I don't just mean guys, I mean females too.It is most certainly nothing sinister going on, so although it can be annoying, just try to carry on as normal, and imagine that people are thinking lovely thoughts about you. I hope this helps. x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2009): Hello.I really feel for you.I hate being stared at too.Alot of people have said they think i'm attractive,but i dont think so myself,so when people stare,i dont know if they are staring coz they think i'm attractive,or for a bad reason.I got bullied alot when i was younger,so it may have something to do with that.I was bullied because of me appearance and personality.Even though my appearance has changed since then,i still dont feel confident.
I also hate being in crowded open spaces,if it's an environment i'm not comfortable in,such as when i go shopping or when i go to the jobcentre,as i am on benefits while i am looking for a job,and there are alot of rough looking people there who scare me,you have to stand near them while you wait to be seen by a member of staff,but if it's in an environment i am comfortable with,such as when i go to a concert or see a show,i feel ok because i'm just enjoying watching the performance.
I remember once i was in the jobcentre,and because it was so busy,they were late seeing me.I had an appointment,but they were 40 minutes late for seeing me,and i had to stand in a crowd of people waiting for my name to be called.People kept looking at me.There are security guards in there too who look intimadating too.I was so uncomfortable i just walked out of the building.And because i am shy,i didnt have the guts to go to the customer service desk and tell them the staff were running late seeing me.Since then,my advisor there has put a note in to tell the staff that i dont like being in crowds.I'm abit embarrassed that they know,but perhaps they can see me quicker now that they know that.I always have trouble sleeping the night before i have to go there.
You mentioned it happens in restaurants too.A restaurant is another place where i would feel uncomfortable with people staring.I get shy during interviews too,which might be why i have had trouble finding a job.It really gets me down.I want to find a job i am comfortable with.I just dont know how to overcome this problem.
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A
male
reader, the_phoenic +, writes (17 May 2009):
to make long things short darling
you are extreemly gorgeous
no one would gaze and stare impretionless unless he/she is seeing something breath taking and very beautifull
good luck.
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A
female
reader, molly4  +, writes (17 May 2009):
 Nobody can really answer this unless you tell us if your appearance is abnormal or anything. Sorry if it sounds mean, but read over your question from someone else's point of view, its kind of a hard one to answer.
xox
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A
female
reader, sammi star +, writes (17 May 2009):
 They're probably staring because you're beautifel, and I'm not kidding! My sister looks like a model, she's flawless and people stare at her EVERYWHERE she goes. Most of the time she doesn't mind so much but some guys think they can come up and touch her or whatever and that does upset her. I bet this is what's going on with you. Be flattered and don't worry about it so much.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2009): Not paranoid? Maybe you're just kidding yourself that you're the centre of attention - as in wishful thinking.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2009): well as far as i know people like to stare (however rude) when they like what they are seeing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2009): Are you over weight or under weight? I notice people in restaurants looking at people who are considered obese a lot of the time. X
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2009): Maybe you're really pretty
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A
female
reader, LadyEviil +, writes (17 May 2009):
 Well you see, people stare in general. and im pretty sure you've stared at people who feel the same way. maybe they find you attractive and i would say you should be damn proud. if it bothers you so much you should just not stare at other people. i get stared at and it doesnt bother me. i dont need to pay attention to it. so do the same!
hope this helps
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