A
female
age
30-35,
*ierneyhutson
writes:okay righti've been with this guy for a year yesterdayhe treats me so much, like yesterday he took me shopping with £300 he spoils me so much.the last 2 months, we've been going down hill.he's lied to me over our relationship.At the begining on our realationship he lied1st lie; He went to his mates party it turned out to be hes ex'es mates, and his ex was there, he rung me and said she kept asking for him back so he wosgong to leave and get a cab home.a couple of months into our relationship he told me.he didnt get a cab back he stayed!i forgot about it.he said he'd never lie again and he was sorry.2nd lie (in the middle of our relatonship)He was wearing a necklace, he said to me it was his dadswhen i put it on he said no, and finally took it off me, and told me it was a girls necklace, he apparently was going to buy it off her.3rd lie. ( a week ago ) he said to me he was going lakeside with his mate and hes mates girlfriend, 2 days later, i found out from a mate, that she saw him up southend with hes 2 boy mates and 5 girls. he said he wasnt with the other 3 girls they were seperate, but i dont no weether to beive him or not.hes lied so many times i dont no wether to trust himi said to him i'd give him another chance, but hes had so many!whatif hes lied so many other times, that i dont no about!trusts meant to be a big thing to make relationships but im stck on what to do :( its hard to let go of him,cos he acts like he REALLY loves me! my friends all say why are you still with him and i say idont no i love himbut at the same time i dont wannar get hurt over and over again :'( but also theres another guy on the scene.he makes me smile and laugh all the timehe always want to meet up with me,and we have the greatest timesits unreal.he has NEVER lied to me.i've known him for around a month now, and i'm gettin to no him really well.but i dont wanna make the wrong move.land regret it im so stuck.anyone help?! xx
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female
reader, emilygreeneyes312  +, writes (20 May 2009):
sounds like he doesn't have a motivation for lying. which isn't good. i say proceed with caution. how long have you known him? i'd just be friends, since you get a bad feeling. sometimes that intuition is correct! i'd wait to pursue if you don't have any other evidence. however, these are trivial lies. My bf and I have been going out for a year. we dated for six months before that. I have caught him in several lies. here our story, maybe you can help me?
dated for 6 months. he was seeing other girls when he was seeing me, although he said he was only interested in me. we weren't serious, and i gave him a hard time about having gfs, which i regret...
he wasn't sure if he wanted to be in the military, and i wasn't sure i wanted to go out with someone in it. he volunteered to go to iraq after six months of dating him. so i broke it off b/c i decided i couldn't handle him being in the military. we wrote almost every week when he was overseas. he said he was going to get out of the military, and he wanted to date me when he got back. but he kept changin his mind about it after that. three times. first lie 1.)i kinda felt as though it was lying b/c if he wasn't sure he should just tell me. i know that i changed my mind too, but i hadn't changed it but once like 6 mos before that.
he got back last june, an dour relationship has been really rocky since than. i confessed to him that over the summer i asked one of his friends if he was really a virgin (b/c he is a great looking guy very smart) . i feel that i ibetrayed his trust. i don't like his friends, and I feel bad b/c i told him that. he's almost 26 and he parites, goes out and drinks with slutty girls (his friends are with him) plus he smokes cigs. I give him a hard time about that too. i told him back in may if he doesn't quit, I am going to break it off with him. he said eh doesn't like ultamatims, but i was being honest!!! he said he'd go and get med in dec, still hasn't even gotten in, or gottne help! 2.) second lie.
3.) third lie- in nov. he told me he was goin to see cousins in mi for and played it off for three weeks. he was actually visiting a friend he met online playing world of warcraft (a very addicting game) it was a guy friend. i did not know he played world of war. which he'd been playing for 8 mos! when he didn't wanna go out with me he'd be playing that. i knew nothing about htis big part of his life. for eight months.
4) after i found out he hid this from me, i was devastated. i felt he didn't trust me enough or something to not open up to me . he said he was really embarassed but he kept it a secret for 8 months. i gave him a really hard time about that too. accused him of all kinds of htings...being gay, having other women, i questioned him about smoking often instead of supporting him... because i felt so betrayed! i thought i would never be able to repair the relationship. so gave up and started llooking for other lies. i asked him if how was class a couple of times. he said good, that he went. his roomate said he stays home to play the vid game, and didn't go to class any of those times. his roomate is honest, and i know hes telling the truth. i confronted him, he still lied. i kept questioning him till he confessed. i told him if he ever lied to me again about anything that would be it. he lied to me again about class.
so i ahve been distancing myself. he wants to make it work. keeps sayin hes faling in love with me. how much he cares for me, etc. but im hanging on by a thread. i feel that it's not gooing to work. i don't like the smoking, him not finishing school b/c of his games, and i feel like he can't trust me.
A
female
reader, emilygreeneyes312 +, writes (20 May 2009):
sounds like he doesn't have a motivation for lying. which isn't good. i say proceed with caution. how long have you known him? i'd just be friends, since you get a bad feeling. sometimes that intuition is correct! i'd wait to pursue if you don't have any other evidence. however, these are trivial lies. My bf and I have been going out for a year. we dated for six months before that. I have caught him in several lies. here our story, maybe you can help me?
dated for 6 months. he was seeing other girls when he was seeing me, although he said he was only interested in me. we weren't serious, and i gave him a hard time about having gfs, which i regret...
he wasn't sure if he wanted to be in the military, and i wasn't sure i wanted to go out with someone in it. he volunteered to go to iraq after six months of dating him. so i broke it off b/c i decided i couldn't handle him being in the military. we wrote almost every week when he was overseas. he said he was going to get out of the military, and he wanted to date me when he got back. but he kept changin his mind about it after that. three times. first lie 1.)i kinda felt as though it was lying b/c if he wasn't sure he should just tell me. i know that i changed my mind too, but i hadn't changed it but once like 6 mos before that.
he got back last june, an dour relationship has been really rocky since than. i confessed to him that over the summer i asked one of his friends if he was really a virgin (b/c he is a great looking guy very smart) . i feel that i ibetrayed his trust. i don't like his friends, and I feel bad b/c i told him that. he's almost 26 and he parites, goes out and drinks with slutty girls (his friends are with him) plus he smokes cigs. I give him a hard time about that too. i told him back in may if he doesn't quit, I am going to break it off with him. he said eh doesn't like ultamatims, but i was being honest!!! he said he'd go and get med in dec, still hasn't even gotten in, or gottne help! 2.) second lie.
3.) third lie- in nov. he told me he was goin to see cousins in mi for and played it off for three weeks. he was actually visiting a friend he met online playing world of warcraft (a very addicting game) it was a guy friend. i did not know he played world of war. which he'd been playing for 8 mos! when he didn't wanna go out with me he'd be playing that. i knew nothing about htis big part of his life. for eight months.
4) after i found out he hid this from me, i was devastated. i felt he didn't trust me enough or something to not open up to me . he said he was really embarassed but he kept it a secret for 8 months. i gave him a really hard time about that too. accused him of all kinds of htings...being gay, having other women, i questioned him about smoking often instead of supporting him... because i felt so betrayed! i thought i would never be able to repair the relationship. so gave up and started llooking for other lies. i asked him if how was class a couple of times. he said good, that he went. his roomate said he stays home to play the vid game, and didn't go to class any of those times. his roomate is honest, and i know hes telling the truth. i confronted him, he still lied. i kept questioning him till he confessed. i told him if he ever lied to me again about anything that would be it. he lied to me again about class.
so i ahve been distancing myself. he wants to make it work. keeps sayin hes faling in love with me. how much he cares for me, etc. but im hanging on by a thread. i feel that it's not gooing to work. i don't like the smoking, him not finishing school b/c of his games, and i feel like he can't trust me.
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx +, writes (17 May 2009):
 Dump this liar!!!! I've been out with a guy like this and it ended up in tears! X
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2009): I don't really think that he's done anything wrong to be honest!!!! I mean it is so possible that he was there with his mate and three girls were there but they didn't go intending to meet them!
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