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Why do people come into our lives to make things difficult?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 September 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 27 September 2009)
A male New Zealand age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Why do people come into our lives to make things difficult? Is there any way to remove oneself from society so much so that nothing or no one can interfere in our affairs?

I feel like people in general hate seeing other people happy, and try their hardest to cut them down anyway they can. And it is hard, due to the fact that when you are happy, you tend to attract alot of people (all trying to leech off that emotion and energy).

All throughout my relationships, people have always tried to sabotage them (I know I probably sound really paranoid right now and sorry for myself - so apologies in advance)! But I have experienced this from both guys and girls, (my g/f's) families and friends etc. and even random people on the street (I'll be walking down the road hand in hand with my girlfriend and guys will hit on her).

It is extremely disheartening and I'm wondering whether it is all worth the pain. I feel like I am of no worth and I don't appreciate and revel in this life. And I don't know how to embrace it because the constant knock downs are not making me stronger anymore. If it was one or two people sure you might be able to block them out or deal with them in some way - but if it is everyone I feel the easier solution is to remove myself.

Any suggestions?

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A female reader, Starlights United Kingdom +, writes (27 September 2009):

Starlights agony auntCan I say removing yourself wont solve anything.

Let me tell you why.

Life is designed in such a mathmatical way that all of us face difficulties at certain points in life to test our character. The trick to getting what you want and being happy is to remain positive and focused throughout all your problems.

In the world there will always be bad people and good people.

Life needs balance, just like ying and yang. You need to have both to compare what you like to what you dont like.

If these types of situations keep occuring where negative people try and pull you down try the following tips:

-Remove yourself from the company of such negative people

-Practice cheering yourself up, watch comedy or read an inspiring book, or do a hobby

-do a sport and vent out your frustration

-dont wear your heart on your sleeve and take what other people do so seriously

-remind yourself you are unique and worthy

-pray (depends on if you believe in god/ or not)

-Find the silver lining on every cloud

Life is a gift and a journey...It takes time to reach the place of knowing until then just take each day as it comes and not dwell too much on the negative sides of life.

My favorite authors are Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, Ghandi, look on the net and try and read their books to gain some inspiration for yourself. The only one who can help you is yourself. You will be fine.

Good luck!

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A male reader, softtouchmale2003 United States +, writes (26 September 2009):

softtouchmale2003 agony auntIf guys are hitting on your girlfriend while you're with her, that's actually pretty rude. More to the point, she ought to be looking at them and saying, "Hey, I'm with someone."

I think you need a bit more self-confidence here.

As for 3rd parties interfering in relationships, the so-called emotional vampires. There are so many of them out there. They are the negative energy that suck all the joy out of life.

They get involved and break up relationships. Its all based on jealousy and hatred. They hate themselves, they're jealous of others who find happiness, and they find a way to interfere and ruin happiness that others experience.

I know what you're talking about and one of those ruined my last relationship. A teenage drama queen no less.

The answer is simple my friend. Just move on and find a girl who really doesn't care about anyone but you; she's not interested in impressing other men or women; she doesn't care what her family thinks about you or her friends for that matter.

A strong and loving woman will devote herself to you.

Now you're still young and girls in your age group, just like yourself, can get easily distracted.

But, I will say that most girls know that if they stick with a guy, they "sing for that supper" then they'll get "breakfast" and that means they're happy. You just need to find the right song bird. Then things will be better.

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A female reader, xxmissxx United Kingdom +, writes (26 September 2009):

xxmissxx agony aunthi there, i think your thinking too much about what others think and say! Firstly do not remove yourself, however you meant that to sound, it didnt sound good!

Why give in to people with nothing better to do than interfere? Id pity them, for not having nothing better to do with their lives!

As for people in the street , men do comment on women, whether in relationships or not, instead of feeling insecure about it, start thinking, "well yeh i agree with what theyre saying, but shes coming home with ME tonight!"

I really think your making a mountain out of a molehill!

Everyone acts differently, its apart of their personality, and their personality is nosey, interfereing, rude, interupting whatever, then more fool them, pity them, rise above it! youve got the girl they havnt! if i was you id say things like

"shes with me, shes coming with me, not you, me!" if not to these people, then say it to yourself! nothing wrong with self reasurrance! i think you could benefit from some sort of therapy though.

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