A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi dear aunts and uncles. why men don't like wearing condoms and get defensive when you ask for it? they always throw the 'you don't trust me' line. that doesn't work with me be cause i believe that no glove no love is the best thing to do. but they make up some stories that i am sure most women have head here. i know any guy can cheat at any moment so it doesn't matter if i trust him or not, i don't want to catch any disease. what makes them think they can get away with it?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2010): Because we want to feel you from the inside. We also want to cum inside of you. Seriously no woman will ever know how brilliant it feels to shoot our load inside a woman. It's liquid power.
What makes us think we can get away with it? Because most of the time we can. I admit I've been one those guys who's made excuses. I know stupid and stuff. But when you're drunk, horny and young, lying in bed with a beautiful woman doing everything leading up to the act then all reason goes out the window and you'll say anything just be allowed to do it bareback if there are no condoms around. In those moments it usually works. You're in the minority of girls that don't give in to temptation.
Always stick to your guns, but if you want to know why then it's because we love doing it and will say anything to get it sometimes, use any trick we can think of sometimes even emotional blackmail. Try not to judge us all to harshly by it though, in the heat of the moment some of us just can't help it.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2010): Condoms can really kill the erection for lots of men. Not just older ones, I'm talking about men in their prime too.
What guy wants to admit that they can't keep it up if they put on a condom? It's much easier to just say you hate using condoms for other reasons and not reveal the problem.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 December 2010):
 They think they can get away with it- because too often they CAN get away with it ( at least judging from DC posts ). Girls are afraid the guy will slip away if they don't please him- and accept the risk .
Also, Odds raises a very good point, maybe there is something wrong in your dating pool.
Personally, I have never met anybody over 17 with the attitude you describe- so, just a different set of values.
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A
female
reader, Princess Aunty  +, writes (9 December 2010):
1. If he says: "It ruins the mood."
How to respond: "Having unsafe sex puts me out of the mood. For good!"
2. If his excuse is: "A condom spoils my enjoyment of sex.”
How to respond: “I can't enjoy sex unless we’re protected.”
3. If he says: "If you really love me, you should trust me."
How to respond: “It is because I love you that I want to be sure we’re both protected.”
4. If he complains: "I can’t feel anything when I’m wearing a condom.”
How to respond: “Many condoms have extra features to actually make sex better, and that you will both be better able to relax knowing you are safeguarding yourselves against STD’s and unintended pregnancy. Plus, men can actually experience more pleasure with a ribbed condom than without one at all.”
5. If he says: "Condoms don’t really work; most of them get busted."
How to respond: "If we use it the right way, its 98% effective."
6. If his excuse is: "Wearing a condom is uncomfortable."
How to respond: Suggest a different brand or size.
Or, if you are feeling a bit feisty, you could come back with, "Yes, and so is being pregnant for 9 months and then having to give birth."
7. If he says: "Don’t tell me that you actually think you’ll catch something from me."
How to respond: "I’m sure I won’t, but it's better to be safe than sorry."
8. If his objection is: “But you’re on the pill.”
How to respond: "The pill won’t protect us from STD’s that we may not even know we have – a condom will give us that protection.”
9. If he insists: “But we’ve had sex without a condom before.”
How to respond: “That that was a bad decision, and I don’t want to make it again. We were lucky, and I am not chancing it again.”
10. If his excuse is: "I don't know how to use a condom the right way."
How to respond: "I’ll do it for you."
tips :-
1. Don’t be afraid to ask your partner to use a condom because you think he won’t trust you. If this is so, then it may mean that you don’t trust him enough to ask him to use a condom.
To be honest with you, talking about birth control may be difficult, but it is important (if you are in a serious relationship) to make these decisions together. If you are feeling that you cannot talk to your partner about contraception, sexually transmitted diseases, and sexual histories, then you should rethink if you are ready for a sexual relationship with this person.
2. Remember, there are many reasons to use a condom. Learn all of the ways a condom can protect both of you, so you can remind him (and yourself) of why you should use a condom every time you have sexual intercourse. Don’t let your partner’s excuses stop you from protecting yourselves.
3. Read these ways of how you can respond to your partner. If it will make you feel more prepared, rehearse them; then, you can be ready to challenge him if he gives you an excuse for not wanting to wear a condom.
4. Remind yourself that asking someone to use a condom shows that you have respect for yourself and for them, so refuse to have sex with someone who does not respect you or themselves enough to use protection.
so i hope these helps please rate if you like
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2010): You are very wise - safety first. A moments thrill or the risk of a lifetime of health issues. Why would you risk it? Good for you.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (9 December 2010):
 They only get away with what they can convince a girl to get away with. If you tell him under no uncertain terms that there will never be an exception to condom use, he'll either get the idea, or he'll leave. If he gets the idea, great.
If he leaves, then he did you a favor. A lot of times, a guy can convince the girl to have unprotected sex because the girl is worried about how he might think of her. Don't ever have unprotected sex just to appease a guy. Not worth the risk.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2010): Okay it's time for someone to bring up the other real problem that has not been said yet. For many guys the condom really hurts the ability to stay hard. It's embarrassing as hell especially when you can keep it up other times and you are not used to dealing with the issue the rest of the time.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (9 December 2010):
 Sex feels 200-300% better without a condom...
Any old excuse or rationalization not to wear one is just a front for that one reason.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (9 December 2010):
 Honestly? Condoms suck. Not that I've ever met a woman who preferred them over the real thing, but you're right, safety first.
They try because they want to raw-dog, and figure that asking won't hurt their chances of getting laid anyway.
It's also possible you're just dating a bunch of boors. Most guys I know don't do that, for the same reasons you give - just a different set of values, I guess. It may just be your dating pool, and now might be a good time to look for a new pool.
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A
female
reader, pixiegirls +, writes (9 December 2010):
 The most often given answer from a guy about not wanting to wear a condom is because of the loss in sensation they feel when they are wearing one. The defensive mode is usually just a game/method to figure out which excuse will work for them at the moment. Those that don’t have enough respect for you, and themselves, will always be the ones in complete shock when they realize they now have an STD. Truthfully, any guy or girl can cheat at any time, then you have a whole sexual history that can cause transfer STD’s. I would guess that those who keep trying to get away with it, are the ones who have for a fairly long time.
You are absolutely right insisting a guy “glove up”. No amount of pressure, or attempt at making you feel guilty will ever cure any STD you could get. I love that you are insistent upon protection. That’s what “smart” is all about!! Kudos!
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