A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I'm like with this guy who I really like, were talking about having sex. He is much older than me and he has already lost his virginity, i haven't. I feel like there are so many things wrong with me, and it makes me not wanna have sex with him. My vagina makes noises like farting kinda (ik its the air stuff but still), i discharge a lot, and i always get razor burn! I cant fix any of this so I'm sooo scared to have sex considering it is my first time. I feel he might understand some stuff cause hes had sex with a few ppl already but I feel uncomfortable telling him or like him finding out during sex. I need reassurance, please help!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2010): I think you are a bit too young to be having sex! How much older than you is he and how well do you really know him? If you don't know if you're ready, you're NOT ready! Don't let him talk you in to this. If you feel uncomfortable telling him things like this he is not the one to have sex with. How much older than you is he?I would wait until you are really in love and loved and you know "him" very well. It will be a much better and even a great experience that way. If you do it with someone who loves you he will go at your pace and he will care about your needs first which is really important for a woman the first time. I would also make sure whoever you do it with is disease free, ask him to get tested first! And make sure you use protection.Develop your sexual relationship before jumping into intercourse: lots of kissing, massages, hugging, oral sex(him to you), and more: learn about your body and each others bodies first. Make sure you have tons of foreplay before intercourse the first time. If you haven't masturbated, do it, and learn to bring yourself to orgasm first before you let someone else try to.Razor burn, discharge and noises shouldn't be a concern if you already know each other well as lovers beforehand. Discharge is normal and as someone said, when you're excited you'll have more which is a turn on for both of you. You might need extra lubrication also anyway.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionaw thank you everyone!! this means alot to me, especially to the second responder the male. cause its a guys point of view. thank you all so much! yeah like idk if im ready to have sex yet but if it comes to that ill have confidence in myself :) thank you all soo much!
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A
female
reader, Princess Aunty  +, writes (9 December 2010):
hmmm so since its your first time, i will tell you a bit about the normal things a girl usually experience in her body during/after her first time which is quite normal, so you don't need to be that afraid if you see any symptoms of that :-
1. # You can get pregnant (and boys, you may not carry the baby, but you still "get pregnant").
2. The only forms of birth control that work with any reliability for the inexperienced are; condoms, birth control pills (taken for at least a month before), female condoms, sponge, spermicide, depro-provera (given by a doctor well in advance), norplant (minor surgery required well in advance), IUD and diaphram (both need a doctor).
3. Rythm and Cycles require some real experience and are NOT for first timers.
4. Standing up right away or jumping up and down will not prevent pregnancy.
5. You can get an STD, and even AIDS, the first time.
6. Only condoms (female and male), preferably with a spermicide, can give you any protection against STDs and AIDS.
7. The only 100% perfect protection against AIDS, STDs, or pregnancy (for adults and teens) is NOT having sex.
8. You probably won't know what you are doing or if you are doing it "right" - try not to worry too much about it, as long as it is consentual there is no one "right" way.
9. Your body may not cooperate, even if your mind wants to be having sex, your body will have an opinion too.
10. You can change your mind and say "NO" whenever you want to before doing it - just because you agreed to have sex doesn't mean you have to go through with it.
now i'll also give you some normal and habitual feelings about the first time that girl usually experience :-
1. It will NOT go the way you plan, it is best to plan only the birth control, time and place.
2. If you are a girl; it will not feel very good - if you are a boy; it will be over so fast you won't know for sure how it felt.
3. You WILL be nervous and maybe a little scared - not necessarily in a bad way.
4. You will feel different about yourself and the other person - not necessarily in a bad way
5. You will NOT suddenly be a woman or a man.
6. # You may feel guilty that you are actually wanting to have sex - try to remember sex is perfectly natural and normal and not something to feel guilty about.
7. As long as you know you are ready, and care about the person you are with, you will enjoy yourself.
8. If you don't respect your partner, or you know they don't resepct you, you will have regrets.
9. If you love, or are loved by your partner, you may still have regrets.
10. Regrets are normal. You have lost something - your virginity - it is natural and normal to mourn that loss.
now i hope these helps. please rate if you like
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A
male
reader, jcams +, writes (9 December 2010):
From a guys point of view I agree with lonelygirl on many of her points. First her point of do you really like him? Is he clean? Is he safe? Are all HUGE points! They say that when you have sex with someone you share a piece of yourself with them and take a piece of them with you. Is this a guy that you want to take a piece from? If you have made the decision to sleep with him then the next step is making yourself feel comfortable. Turn the lights off or down. When it is dark he won't be able to see the razor burn. As for the discharge... believe it or not guys kinda like that. If the guy feels like he is making you orgasm and you are producing that discharge because of pleasure he will be excited to have you do it! So take confidence in yourself and what you are doing because I am sure you are a beautiful girl that is exciting and has a lot to offer!
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A
female
reader, lonelygirl295  +, writes (9 December 2010):
awhh hun, everyone has those thoughts. first, before consittering doing that with him. Do you really like him? How long have you been together? Is he clean? Is he safe? Do not ever push yourself if you are not ready. If you are ready, just turn off the lights or dim them, that way you wont be so concerned. The noises and razor bumps are 100% normal, everyone has them. He will understand, you just have to accept being a woman.
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