A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:[OP original title]Ok....here I go. About two years ago I got my heart torn apart. It took sometime but im finaly tring to put it all behind me. I've started talking and seeing other women. But everytime I meet someone and things progress, I find things that bug me and I try to push them away. It can be the most simplest thing and I just make it out to be a big deal. I tell myself that I'm happier alone then to be with that person. I do enjoy alone time by myself, but at the same time I'm lonly. If that makes since. Whenever I'm spending time w that person I'm happy. I enjoy there company. We laugh and talk and everthing. Its whenever I'm alone and start to think like that. I know there's no such thing as the perfect person, I just wanna know why I can't let nobody in. I can't figure out what's wrong. It truly does break my heart after I push someone away. I feel so bad. I don't wanna do this anymore. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (16 August 2010):
 I think it is great that you are dating again, and you may be pushing people away because you think things are moving too quickly with them and that is OK, not every girl you meet is going to be the right one for you to have a relationship with. So just take things slow, and try to be friends with a woman first. Intimacy takes a lot of days weeks and months to build, it won't happen over night.
If you are still struggling emoitionally with your feelings of loneliness and sadness that dating is bringing up for you, just realize that it is normal for that to happen when your last relationship ended badly, your gonna have to deal with those feelings and accept that it is just part of it. It takes some guts to get back out there and if you meet a nice woman who is actually capable of loving you back, if your ex was a witch, it is going to feel uncomfortable at first being with someone NORMAL. Just stick it out and see how things progress for you, don't commit to one person for at least 6 months and I think you will be just fine.
Also, I like the idea of enjoying your time alone with your hobbies and interests, remind yourself every day of who you are, how much you have to offer the world and a woman and go forth and conquer the day!
A
male
reader, LittleAlfie +, writes (16 August 2010):
 This sounds simply like you're filling a void with things that, though they're good, ultimately can not satisfy you. Take it from someone who's been there: if you continue on this path, it will lead to other serious issues when you finally do fall in love again. There is a way to change this though. You need to spend time to yourself. But keep busy. Don't be afraid to go out and do things that you like. Remind yourself of who you are and what you like about yourself. That will help to fully fill that void permanently. Try writing, or volunteering to fill those lonely periods. It will improve both your self confidence and allow you to give to others in a positive way.
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