A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I have known this guy for about 3 years give or take. He's 4 years older than me. Ever since I met him I have had this strong sexual attraction towards him. We first hooked up when I was 18, then the second time when I was 19. I am about to turn 21 and I still have that strong sexual attraction for him. I would never consider dating him and do NOT want a relationship with him just because of his personality (clingy, emotional, whiny). We haven't kept too in touch, partially because we were both busy with school and jobs and I purposely changed my phone number because he becomes a little too obsessive with the text messaging. It's just whenever we reconnect that attraction slowly creeps back. The thing is the sex isn't that good. I wouldn't even say it's good at all but I always have the urge to hook up with him every once in awhile? What is going on??? It's not like he has a 6 pack and a hot body, he's a decent looking normal guy. I don't know!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2013): Are you the dominant one whilst having sex because if so then this might be the turn on that you are in control.
A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (8 February 2013):
 Ur prob in need of sex n thats it. Do u have other options other than him? If not id say that could also be why.
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A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx  +, writes (8 February 2013):
 I have had similar problems in the past and been extremely attracted to certain men who really have absolutely nothing going for them, but only in a sexual way. It could really be something in our hormones that make us like this, or maybe them kind of guys have a lot of testosterone and it attracts women? I don't know, I’m not a scientist, but either way it’s best not to question nature, there is however just something in him that makes you attracted to him simple as.However, it isn't all about the quality of the sex, maybe the reason you keep going back is because you like the feeling of being close to another male? And maybe he is just particularly good at giving off that vibe. I also find men who are rather clingy even if it is annoying end up making you feel more wanted. However I do agree that you could be setting yourself up for more problems, if he is one of them clingy types who contacts you 24/7 then it is best to stay away and maybe look for this same kind of attraction somewhere else. Does he know that you’re only interested in him in a sexual way? If not this could be hurting his feelings, such as every time he may think he’s got a chance in getting with you, and it ends up in sex and limited contact. Be careful. x
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A
female
reader, golddigger99 +, writes (8 February 2013):
 Sometimes, it's not about the sex, but about the attraction. Remember, attraction isn't just physical. If he's an honest, good-hearted man, then that's attractive to most women. You might also be missing the physical connection that you feel with someone. Maybe you're just lonely? There could be a lot of reasons why you keep going back to him. Is it possible that you are just in denial about not wanting a relationship with him? Sometimes, when a man has your heart, there's nothing you can do about it. Best of luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2013): He is like your fall back plan. He looks good because there isn't someone else there to give you a real relationship which you crave. He's just something on the side for you when you need someone to fill your needs or when you get bored. You see him as a constant thing in your life that is there when you want it. Start looking for a real relationship, enrich your real life with things to distract you from him and cut him loose. This isn't healthy on either side.
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A
female
reader, themagentskie +, writes (8 February 2013):
 You like him! It happens often. I had a similar situation with a guy I attempted to date. I was so attracted to him and couldn't help it. When the time finally occurred in sleeping together, it was horrible!!! Yet, I always went back to him. Not because I loved the guy, I was actually ashamed in even sleeping around with this guy, but the attraction was strong. After realizing it was a bad idea and listing all the negatives that outweighed the positives (by a lot), I refused to keep communication. Free will was difficult in doing so. Yet I managed to find someone great afterwords :)
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