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*anny343343
writes:Why do I desire her so much when I know in reality is 100% a never? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 August 2021):
 Maybe it's partly "forbidden fruit". Someone who you KNOW you can't have, so she becomes extra enticing?
The thing with this though is that YOU are wasting time and energy on something that will never BE anything. And while you focus on someone you can't BE with... you might miss out on someone you CAN be with. Someone who could be a much better fit.
OR if you are married, maybe your marriage would become SO much better if you were more focused on your spouse than on someone who is NOT for you.
Don't go looking for greener grass, water the grass you have. Shower it with love, attention, and affection.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (11 August 2021):
 Unrequited love is very special. It is safe. It never has to change. It never has to die. You have full control of your fantasies and never need to be disappointed because you can steer them where YOU want.
It can also be an excuse not to live a real life. Or can be an escape from a real life which is not fulfilling your needs.
Which category do YOU fit into?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2021): Let's call it "lustful-entitlement." You want what you can't have; and the more you dwell on it, the more you'll want it.
If you know it's a 100% no-chance, move on. Find yourself another distraction to occupy your thoughts. Put distance between you and her. Control your impulses, don't do anything stupid.
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A
female
reader, Tinacandida +, writes (10 August 2021):
 We always want something that we cant have. If there was a spark with her then you would know it. Look elsewhere before your heart gets broken.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2021): You desire her so much BECAUSE you can't have her. It's the human condition. We all want what we can't have. Simple.
The reality of her is most likely very different to your fantasies and once you accept that she isn't the be all and end all of life (no-one is) then you can move on and find someone to be happy with in reality. You are in a dream world and she is on a pedestal. Only you can change that.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (10 August 2021):
 I don't know the reasons why she is a 100% never, but i'm guessing this is a lust feeling, rather than a feeling of love.
Feeling's of lust tend to be short lived and will eventually fade away and diminish.
If she is a forbidden fantasy, keep your feelings to your self and let them fizzle away until they are no more. At the end of the day sometimes we can't help who we generate feelings for.
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