A
male
age
36-40,
*tarblind
writes:I'll start from the top then. (This needs some explaining)I'm a 26 year old guy and I've been in a stable, loving relationship with another guy for 8 years now. We live together and we've been in a Civil Partnership for three years.We enjoy a rich sex life, we're communicative, experimental and we've tired all sorts of things, including letting other guys into our fun.When I met him, I had zero interest in women. I've never had any desire to be intimate with one. I appreciated their beauty but that was it. However the last year or so, I've started thinking about them, having fantasies about them, and I'm not at a point where I want to try it with a woman, just to see what it's like.I've never told my guy about this because I don't want to hurt him, as others have done, because I love him.I also know he has zero interest in women. He's told me in the past.I want to tell him though, but I'm not sure how. Should I bother him with it or is this just a passing phase?
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male
reader, Starblind +, writes (23 September 2010):
Starblind is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell it's been a couple of weeks now. I've told him how I feel. I won't lie, he's had a hard time adjusting, but he wants me to be happy. He's sensed something had been bothering me for a while so in a way he's glad he knows what it was.He's still getting his head around things and we've been talking a lot. He's willing to let me act upon my feelings, provided we have a couple of ground rules. (wearing protection, letting him know where I am etc) He's also expressed a desire to do a few things with other guys, namely things I can't do for him and I'm quite happy for him to do so. I'm secure in our relationship and I know he won't leave me, besides it's the least I can do after what he's done for me.Thank you everyone for giving me advice here *hugs and love*xxxx
A
female
reader, natmarie +, writes (14 September 2010):
 All the best Starblind. I really hope this works out for you. Sexuality is so fluid, and complex I know. I hope you and your husband come out of this still string. Natmarie xx
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A
male
reader, Starblind +, writes (14 September 2010):
Starblind is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for replying ladies, much appreciated :)
I'd be shocked too NatMarie, but I'd rather he'd tell me than keep it bottled up if the shoe was on the other foot, besides if I didn't trust him I wouldn't think about bringing the issue up, and yes, it is something I have to tell him because it'll only gnaw away at me and drag me down if I don't get it off my chest.
Gabrielle, I'm not sure if it's a phase or a permanent change, I've always believed a person's sexuality isn't as carved in stone as some may think. As I said to NatMarie, it's something I'll have to tell him about sooner or later because it'll just get me down if I don't.
I love him with all my heart and he'll quickly pick up on me when he knows there's something getting me down, he knows me too well after eight years. It's the love and respect I have for him that's stopped me from taking the easiest option and find out what it's like behind his back.
I'm going to a drop in clinic tonight and see a professional about my problem and see what they say on the matter before I decide weather or not to tell him.
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker  +, writes (14 September 2010):
 It may be a passing phase but then again it may not. Whether you wish to talk to him depends on your relationship with him, I guess. But if you ever feel that you wish to act on it, do talk to him before you go ahead.
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A
male
reader, der_zyniker +, writes (14 September 2010):
I think that you are just bicurious right now. I wouldn't tell your partner about this. You have what sounds like a wonderful relationship with this man and telling him might risk that relationship in some ways. Even if this desire doesn't pass, why risk a relationship for about twenty minutes of something that you might like.
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A
female
reader, natmarie +, writes (13 September 2010):
Hi. I really would not tell your partner this. He will be shocked ad sadenned. I mean, how would YOU feel if he told you that? plus the trust might go in the relationship. You need to look into your options.. I mean, are you going to carry out your fantasy of going with a woman, or just keep it to yourself? nATMARIEXX
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