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Why do guys seem to get over a girl so easily?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 January 2009) 7 Answers - (Newest, 15 October 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *ubyr13 writes:

Why do guys forget or get over a girl they really loved so easily? Is it possible or are they just acting cool to hide feelings because people may call them wimps etc. Is it possible and why do guys do that? Guys answers especially would be good here.

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A male reader, FDavies02 United Kingdom +, writes (15 October 2009):

Some good points raised here, and yes, men do find it hard.

I was recently dumped by my girlfriend of 2 years as she went off to Uni (which was only a 35 minute drive up the road) as she said she couldn't do a long distance relationship, even though i have my own car and could visit whenever. Obviously, i could see through her rubbish and knew she was going for one thing - to meet new men.

But, it was her decision, and i loved her blindly so wanted her to be happy. Nowadays, my thoughts over power me so much when i'm alone that i have to be with someone constantly before it drives me crazy. Luckily my friends have been there for me all the way, and have done everything in their power to keep my mind busy and off my ex. She still creeps back into my mind though, and i hate it. Notably when she texts me saying she's been with someone else. I've had a failed suicide attempt after that..why would you ever say that to someone who loves you?

I don't show emotion physically, that was one thing my ex hated, i never cried, because i'm too 'man proud'. I also always put on a brave face and try not to let people know how i feel.

One day, i'll be over her. But until then, it's a horrible existance.

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A female reader, didda123 United Kingdom +, writes (21 January 2009):

didda123 agony auntI believe men are just as sensitive as us women but they do try to hide things moreso putting on a brave front. They have probably been brought up with a father who has always been strong and never shown much emotion.

Im sure that when they are alone and their mind is not occupied with other things they will be just as pensive as us women and im sure they will reflect on things and wonder if they have made the right decision during those times. They need time to actually miss you and if given the opportunity may even change their views.

I have also known a lot of very sensitive men who do show their feelings. I personally quite like this type of man you know where you are with them whereas you always have to second guess with the unemotional type.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2009):

Very well stated "Honeypie". You give very good advice/replies. :-)

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (20 January 2009):

Honeypie agony auntI think some men try and live in the here-and-now and not dwell and overanalyze every aspect of a failed relationship. Unlike us females.

Just because a guy doesn't show he's hurt doesn't mean he is not hurting. It's usually expected that women "mourn" the end of a relationship way longer. It's ok for a woman/girl to cry her eyes out for quite a while over a break up, but no one wants to see a guy snivel over a broken heart. ( At least in the eyes of society)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2009):

Well there is a pretty easy answer to that question. If the guy really loved that person and they broke up or are separated, etc then of course the guy will be hurt. But it only takes a little bit of time before the real answer pops into their head. "Why did we break up?" Once that thought goes through our heads we then begin to realize why we call that person our ex. Men have so much going on they don't have time to reminisce on a past lover for an extended amount of time. Men won't forget, we just choose to put it behind us and move on because dreaming about your last love is pretty pointless especially if it's for an extended amount of time. There is nothing to gain from it except for sorrow.

Hope that answers something

OmegaXF

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2009):

It isn't easier for guys to get over anyone. We just know how to hide and not reveal what we feel all the time. I suppose in layman's terms, we are better at playing it cool, then girls are. I don't know about being afraid of being called names and so forth, but most guys have much more pride then girls do.

Especially if we think or know that the girl is over us. It gives us more of a reason to act like we just don't care as much anymore.

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A male reader, Phsyciatrist-to-be United Kingdom +, writes (20 January 2009):

Phsyciatrist-to-be agony auntTrust me, if a guy gets over a girl THAT quickly, he probably didnt love her as much as he said he did.

However, it's more than likely they are just burying any residual feelings beneath layers of "coolness," so as insensative as we may seem, we hurt just as much as you girls do. We simply tend to hide it a lot, or express it in different ways. Dont think we're all shallow bastards, no matter how many times you're told :)

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