A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:HiSO what to do!I have been told in my ols school i am really pretty and was popular and had many bf but know if we play spin the bottle no guy wants to kiss me.Ok not true they do butWHY do guys say I am not attractive?When I used to get told the opposite. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, xnickx +, writes (11 November 2009):
 Heres my spin on it (not that the sex thing is wrong), Here’s just a different take (seeing as I have a similar problem.
Why dont others think of you as “pretty”? In my case, its reputation. I used to be a quiet guy. Very emotional, kinda awkward with girls. I was picked on, and that’s the image I have of myself. I find myself quite ugly. However, now im told all the time that im a cute guy in public, yet I cant get a date at my school to save my life. Well not someone that meets my standards anyways. Im seen as not good enough to be even considered by most girls. Now im very forward, very social, and cool guy, not very emotional. But what do the people I grew up with remember? The same person I remember. The guy who screwed everything up as a young kid.
Now you go to my ex’s school and even quote unquote “perfect” girls flirt with me. Why? Because when I was with my ex, I made a good first impression. They don’t know the other me. First impressions count—with everyone. Guys and girls alike.
So... if you made a bad first impression at your school, that could be it.Im not saying they may not be doing it just to get with you, but again, just my take on the situation.
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (11 November 2009):
 Yos has the most likely answer.
If you are the only teen girl able to learn a single thing, then learn this.
Boys will say ANYTHING that they think can get them sex.
This doesn't have to make sense or even be likely to work, they just have to think it does. And considering how many women on this forum are ready to admit they had sex with guys they totally regret ever having said hello to, the teenage boys are usually right.
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A
male
reader, BunnyHumper +, writes (11 November 2009):
What makes a girl/women attractive. Let me say this: It as all in the eyes of the beholder and how that person sees you. For one it may be the personality, another the hair, the legs,face, butt or ????. It is like " What makes up a pretty face?" What makes a pretty face is its symetrics. If the face is perfectly porportioned it will apear a very pretty face but if taken out of porportion then you have a different ideal. If the female has a 70/30 ratio in her measurements she is veiwed as having the perfect figure.Ask any bunch of guys or women what they find attractive in the opposite gender and I would dear say that you likely will not get idntical answers. Now, for fun, start by going and looking in the mirror. Be honest. What is it you see? Well, I would say you see a pretty average face. Right. Why is that? That is because we are our own standard for "average looks!" In our mind we are not pretty or ugly but just average in looks, that is, it our minds. In plain words we are our own standards.Now apply it to your body and it will be the same. With everyone having a different standard well..... You got the idea.Don't dispair! If you were to ask two people with out of porportioned faces, that just happen to look simular, they would tell you that they were beautiful and attractie. ask two black Rinos you might expect the same. So I dare say it seems to be the selection process. It is not necessary to change ones looks physically but that doesen't mean that you can't inhance your best features wih a little make-up if you care to do so. Allways be careful of your word selection as you never know when you might have to eat them. Besides they can affect ones reputation in a negative way that could leave one sorry later. I too also find the best approach is the direct one, always being truthful and never deceitfull.What people hear often affects how we make it in life. It is interesting to note that what people hear and think of you often affects how they perceive you. When they think well of you as a person ofter seems to cloud the memory of those negative points and usually gives us a better chance in life. Now, after all that what are these guys talking about? You know what? I am a guy who is inhis middle 60's and maybe the reason you don't understand what they mean is that they are not saying what they really mean? I would say it is a possibility that they don't know what they really want in life yet. It is possible that they are too immature and just need more time. Most younger guys don't know how to interpet body language or Chemestry or any thing else. It is up to the women to teach them and mold them into what they want. Guys are too busy trying ti impress their buddies when younger and often what they say or tell is to bolster their immage and not always true. Don't hard luck him but teach him as he were a child to be a real man and you will have your perfect man. A final peice of advice: If you want to keep him only on to you...always put yourself between him and the other women. Always remember that the other woman is allways competition even while you are married!
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A
male
reader, Yos +, writes (11 November 2009):
 Guys will tell a girl she's not attractive in order to have sex with her. Why? Well, if she thinks she's not attractive she's (usually) easier to get into bed. Also, a girl in that situation will sometimes want to prove the guy wrong. Or she'll wonder why the guy doesn't find her attractive and get sucked into wanting him to be attracted to her...
It even has a word for it, which is 'negging'...
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=negging
There are even books about how to do it most effectively!
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A
female
reader, Dr Bex  +, writes (11 November 2009):
Hello. Boys are not god and they do not always say the right things. In fact a lot of the time boys say the opposite of what they actually mean. You are a young girl and I'm sure you are very pretty. Everyone is beautiful inside and out. You must believe in yourself. In life we are always going to get things said about us we may not want to hear. There are nasty people out there - Its all part of life and we have to learn about rejection as much as acception. From personal experience, I know that boys of a certain age use insults as a sign of affection. At 16 and 17 boys think its cool to call people unattractive or put people down. Deep down it means they think you are attractive and are probably jealous that you are so beautiful and are not interested in them. Please do not believe everything you hear. Believe in yourself and thats all that matters. Beauty is skin deep.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2009): It is a universal fact that guys are stupid. If you think that you are beautiful, then you are.
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