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Why do guys only want me for sex?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 February 2010) 10 Answers - (Newest, 26 October 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

everyone i meet says am really friendly and really sweet. they all say i have a great personality.

guys thinks am cute and sexy..but they just want me for sex and off course i don't give in cos am not the type to sleep around.. i want relationship+sex not just sex.

my question is, is it cos am easy to talk to and sweet to every i meet..cos thats how i am,..

the guys think i will sleep with them?? dont they see my good personality that everyones i meet see??

oh and i dont dress slutty. and i DONT meet guys at clubs or bars.

so what could be the problem??

thnx...xx

am 20 if that helps..x

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A female reader, Wildcat67 United Kingdom +, writes (26 October 2013):

I just don't think there's any such thing as relationship any mor. II'm in 40s but look 30 and so all guys hitting on me are 30 ish and not wanting same as me. Do I live like a nun for rest of my life becausedamn sure no man wants a re lationship at my age or if they do they're in their 60s. Young men are gorgeousbut like other pers on said you end up getting hurt over andov er because it's hard not to get attached to someone if you sleep with them. Men and women are wired differently. Nothing you can do. I've tried to insist on dates out but they always make excuses not to take you even. Life is hard being without a companion and I do have a very full life. So you have to decide to use them as they use you or hold on to your pride and dignity and live alone until good person comes along.. Very difficult..

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A female reader, jenn992 United States +, writes (16 February 2011):

im not even your age im older, but experience the same. Im sweet nice pretty and look young...EVERY guy ive met...just wants me for sex...i cant meet a guy for a boyfriend...its terrible...I guess its an epidemic...these guys are stupid these days...theres little hope for good women out there it seems...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2010):

I think for every 20 guys you meet that just want sex, you will meet 1 that is truly interested in you as a person, and many times you may not be interested in that one man. So, finding a guy to have a relationship with is much harder than finding one to have sex with :(

Don't give into the guys that want to have sex with you right away, it will only hurt your feelings and diminish your self confidence. Be patient and stay busy...if you look like you are desperately seeking a relationship, you will scare guys away. You need to have a fulfilling life all on your own and then a guy will find you interesting enough to want to be with.

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A female reader, forever friend United Kingdom +, writes (25 February 2010):

forever friend agony auntmake sure you know what you want from a relationship and never compromise just to get temporary love,love is inside ourselves, hunting for love never brings the right partner, respect and love yourself first darling, a woman needs bounderies trust me ive been there and done and got badly hurt , a guy i dated only wanted friends with benifits and it damaged my self esteem further , dont let this happen to you, look after yourself and tell any guy who just wants sex to

"hit the road jack" wish strengh to you darling

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2010):

Sometimes guys mistake girl's friendliness for flirtiness, and go for it. They always try, what if... And it's not just you, every 20-year old with a pretty or not very pretty face gets hit on several times a day. Guys at that age don't really care about girls pretiness or niceness, all they want is to get in your panties.

Now that's when you as a smart young lady need to deside what YOU want to do.

Don't take guys behavior very personally, they don't put too much thought into it. Be patient, that special guy will show up.

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (25 February 2010):

LazyGuy agony auntYour good personality does not matter to them.

Guys that just want sex, just want sex. They are not going to change their mind just because the girl happens to be nice.

Think of it like this, you eat a steak: do you then care whether it came from a nice cow or a cranky one?

No.

Some guys, especially at your age, just want sex. There is no point in further analysis.

There are guys that want different things then just sex. But there is a problem.

Say that 5 out of 10 men only want sex and the rest don't.

Now, which group will you be exposed to the much? The ones that want sex will be constantly trying it, while the ones who don't will often just pass you by as they are busy with other things. A guy who cheats is available to many women, a guy who doesn't, is only available to one.

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A male reader, caterpillarchapstick United States +, writes (25 February 2010):

it is probably because you are so sweet and nice. all men want sex. some men want only sex and some of the men that think they only want sex are also interested in love but it will take the right female to bring this to their awareness. i am one of those men. i think i need sex when really i need love and sex. this i am aware of now but when i was 20 not so much.

guys can often sense a girl's level of vulnerability by her body language,speach, and all other mannerisms. sweet innocent girls are often naive. try to exert confidence and strength mentally and it will show.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (25 February 2010):

The truth is many guys aged about 20 aren't looking to settle down with a girlfriend. They're just looking for sex. Not all guys, but a lot. Sadly this means the for girls like you who want a relationship, you have to make your way through a lot of rubbish guys until you find the right one. Just take your time getting to know men, and you will find one.

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A male reader, bharat mehta India +, writes (25 February 2010):

bharat mehta agony auntWithout any elaboration your this statement,'i want relationship+sex not just sex.'....express most civilized desire. However, there are people, as you say around, 'clubs and bar'...are people who separate sex from love, means they left sex, without [love] means any sense of admiration, acceptance, and worshiping state...is bad.

But, please remember, there are many many male who also share our ideas. And, this is the hope of humanity.

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A female reader, BlueBird1990 Australia +, writes (25 February 2010):

BlueBird1990 agony auntHi,

We are the same age pretty much going through the same ordeal. So i am also looking for the answer on this.

All i can say is some, not all men, thats all they are after and all they will always be after. Its not that they want to hurt us. They just DONT open up. They will say the sweetest things to get in our pants. What we have to do is straight out question them. Are you being genuine or are you saying this to plenty of other girls and hence why that sounds to good to be true? If they can not answer that or the answer also seems to good to be true, look somewhere else.

I have tried that and fondly enough it has worked.

BlueBird

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