A
male
age
36-40,
*uitarist
writes:Why do girls say they love you then leave you shortly afterwards for stupid reasons? Is it just me? Why is my longest relationship only 2 months? I don't treat them badly, I always try my best to make them happy. I just don't get it. It makes me feel so bad about myself that I've thought about giving up several times. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, rolfen  +, writes (28 June 2017):
 There can be many reasons.
She may be confused is one of them.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010): thats happened to me. i dont think its ur fault. maybe shes been heartbroken and just for dumb reasons she does that. also if she told u she loves u then dont let her go. she tries to push u away bcuz she doesnt wanna get hurt. just dont give up if u really do like her. hope i helped :)
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male
reader, LuvsicK  +, writes (17 February 2010):
Dude, i just got dumped today and we've only been dating 2 months and thats my longest relationship. i can't say why they do that but dont forget her i know your brain is telling you too but your heart is saying different. listen to your heart man, she may just be confused about a few things but only time will tell....but like said dont give up on her she wont on you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2009): and maybe they really did think that they loved you...and then they realized that they were wrong. girls can change their mind a lot. it's not your fault
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2009):
There may be many reasons why this is but i'll just say what i think. They may leave after shortly ...because they are satisfied and happy that they said that they love you...and feel like they can get on with their life now. or they might just leave because they have stupid things to do. your longest relationship is only that long because you haven't found the right person for you yet...don't become impatient because you'll meet her someday. those other girls just don't appreciate you as much as they should.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2009): When guys do the whole "treat em mean, keep them keen" and there is no balance, if you're lovely to us one day then cool of the next we'll wonder what the frick is wrong so don't do something big and fancy then ignore her the next. if you play these sort of games any girl with a heart will bolt because games hurt people. be yourself and theres a song by fleetwood mac called i wanna be with you everywere. thats how love is you miss that person all the time and want to be with them there is no shame in it either true love isnt conditioned
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female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (26 February 2009):
you've just got to keep looking. maybe don't let yourself fall for a girl so easily. get to know her alot more before you make anything official.
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male
reader, Guitarist +, writes (25 February 2009):
Guitarist is verified as being by the original poster of the question Then they're selfish. and thanks, as if i wasn't depressed enough.
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male
reader, anoms +, writes (13 February 2009):
 i feel that young men and women are getting more and more short sighted, putting there own needs before anyone elses, it must be the media, somthing is mentaly changing people and i feel like im the only guy taking a step back and asking what the hell is going on?. yes guys do the same things and are just as guilty but i find women paint me with the ensact same brush instead of judging me for who i am, iv never been clingy i like my privacy because i have a strict and pretty stressfull eating and training regime. my friends on the other hand are total slobs with no hobbies, no jobs, no money, live on ther xbox's, and live on the bottle, and have the cutest most caring girlfriends, if this is what you girls call excitement then im gay.
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female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (13 February 2009):
i'm sorry but i don't ever get with a guy and fall in love, then dump him! that's just stupid.
the only reason i have ever finished a relationship was because one guy told me he loved me, then he asked me if he could date another girl while we were dating!
secondly i finished with another guy because he was far too clingy, he would call me everytime i was out with friends and ask what i was doing, where i was, when i would be back,etc. it got too much. we want a nice guy who knows how to give us space and will allow us to be away from them for 5 minutes!
guys are just as bad! like i said before, why tell a girl you love her then try and date someone else? that's not love, that's being a nasty greedy manwhore.
your problem is that you just keep going for the same types of girls. try dating someone different to your other dates. see what happens. not all girls say i love you, then dump you....cause if that did happen why would there be couples who have been together for years, get engaged then get married?!? we don't all want a bad boy. the thought of a bad boy is a turn off. what's so amazing about a guy who treats you like shit? why would any woman want that?
we just want a nice guy who is fun and caring and isn't too clingy and understands space. also don't get all up on yourself because we say that maybe you could of pressured them into saying i love you...you never actually said whether that had happened or not.so people will think that is what happened and that's why they freaked out and ditched you.
you need to stop being so hostile towards girls and you will find your perfect lady, you just have to go through some bad ones before you find the right one. same for us girls...not all guys are nice and good in relationships, but there are def a few who are.
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female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (13 February 2009):
 dude here's the deal. I have the same luck with men. Then i realize it is a pattern and YES it is ME!! why?? because i am attracted to and attracting these type of people in my life. the kind that are heartbreakers, bad boys..ect.
in your case..bad girls.. who are users. ect.
So...if you notice a pattern, you need to see why you are attracted to them. Usually it's something within yourself that you need to change first so you won't be attracted to these girls anymore. Usually it has to do with loving and giving to yourself first...(not in a selfish way.) a caring respectful way..and then the nice, good girl, will follow. You probably try too hard to make them like you and it comes off as weakness and insecurity and this is a turnoff for girls. Come from a place of strength and they'll never say goodbye to you. good luck
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male
reader, Guitarist +, writes (13 February 2009):
Guitarist is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwasn't just one girl. its been ALL OF THEM. Thats why i'm so stressed out. and AGAIN its not me smothering them! wish someone would actually read what i'm saying properly.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2009): To be honest, just sounds like you were dating a bitch, that f**ked you over, best to learn a lesson and move on.
I mean she could have had any number of reasons for treating you like that, rebound, player etc. but at the end of the day she was a bitch, as the girls here have stated it's not only women that do it and your not the first to have it happen to you.
Someone who says I love you and doesn't mean it is a prick, plain and simple, thats why.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2009): well to me it is always the guy saying they care about me then leaving..... personally i think people like that are scared of commitment
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male
reader, Guitarist +, writes (13 February 2009):
Guitarist is verified as being by the original poster of the questionso they get bored with the guy they 'love'? doesn't sound like love to me. so AGAIN, why say it if they don't mean it??????????
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female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (13 February 2009):
it work both ways. men are the same way. playing mind games and all. It all comes down to being with someone exciting and lighting your fire. We don't want to be bored. and the men don't want a boring women either. we all like challenges in life and dating is no different
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female
reader, muirbear +, writes (13 February 2009):
I was with a guy that treated me great...my problem? i felt smothered. idk if you are one of those guys that falls in love a lot and says that you cant ever be without her but for me that is too much too fast. even if you want to see me everyday dont say it, she needs to be the one to say that she wants to see you at times. dont call everyday, give her a chance to miss you. never be the one to contact a girl more than two times in a row, if you want it to be an equal relationship make her do half the work, let her call you. hope that helps, any other questions feel free to ask.
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male
reader, anoms +, writes (13 February 2009):
heres a quick example, im mad about this girl, she has an open relashionship with her bf who lives in a seperate county for the moment cause he's married to his job, they call themselves swingers at 20 years old lol, so anyway she's crazy about me, wants my body as she puts it etc, but im always occupied like "cerburus" says "unavailable" as he puts it when shes txting and phoning and what not, i felt mean so i teased her big time in her apartment last week and i mean a vicious tease! shown her everything she couldnt have lol, now she tells me shes feeling unloved and wants me to take her on holiday.. where does it go from here, who knows.. you tell me
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2009): Just to clarify I don't mean start treating them like shit or anything, I mean let them make you happy too and try to keep it exiting, do something really special for them one night, then the next time they wanna meet up be unavailable etc. just play the game without crossing the line into the asshole zone.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2009): Just to clarify I don't mean start treating them like shit or anything, I mean let them make you happy too and try to keep it exiting, do something really special for them one night, then the next time they wanna meet up be unavailable etc. just play the game without crossing the line into the asshole zone.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2009): anoms is right, man. Girls love the game, they simply love drama it excites them, think of the kind of things they watch on TV or read in magazines, it's all drama. I mean have you ever heard of or seen a romance movie where: girl meets guy, handsome, charisatic, they date for a while, he treats her really well, they fall in love, the end? Nope, there's always a dramatic event in the middle somewhere.
Girls get bored really easily with guys that are always nice. Gotto mix it up a bit.
Any woman is entitled to disagree with my view, but how many can truly say they've never dated a guy who treated them badly? or stayed with this asshole even after they realized he was?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2009): sorry to disappoint you but guys are no diffrent
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male
reader, anoms +, writes (13 February 2009):
dude girls can deny this all they want but its as true as the sky is blue lol, im hear to express myself, and get my negative opinions out. but in the real world im nothing short of a gentlemen, im better then average looking and im a 17st bodybuilder. i promise you that when your popular but not interested, every girl and her sister wants you! but if your just polite, kind and sincere the mind games begin and they act like there out of your league. if i wasnt so disgusted with the game i would have slept with at least 15 colleagues within the last 6 months. sorry girls i know you have your opinions which i respect and are equally valid but these are mine, thanks.
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male
reader, Guitarist +, writes (13 February 2009):
Guitarist is verified as being by the original poster of the questionand to 'anoms' i think you're right, girls secretly like being treated badly, what other explanation is there? all the good guys get messed around yet the rude boys always find the clingy girls.
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male
reader, Guitarist +, writes (13 February 2009):
Guitarist is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwhoa everyone (the girls) thinks that i pressured them into saying it. i didn't. just because they said it doesn't mean i did first. so i'll ask again. Why do they say it FIRST then leave me?
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female
reader, christable  +, writes (12 February 2009):
Hi their, as a girl i did once apon a time say "i love u" if a guy said it 2 me coz i felt under pressure and as a girl we don't like to hurt or make u feel bad even tho we do later when we have time to realise that 1.things moving too fast or 2. we just not that in 2 u. we don't mean to we just don't want to hurt your felings. try to play it cool with girls not over the top everyone likes a chase and a challenge at the start of a relationship!!! mistery is the key.......
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female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (12 February 2009):
not all girls do that. i certainly wouldn't tell a guy after 2 months that i love him. how can you fall in love that quickly?!
are you sure you didn't pressure them into saying it, by you saying it first? love and lust can feel similar. sometimes if guys are too clingy it can put a gal off. were you clingy? we want a guy who can make us laugh and be a little romantic, but not tell us he loves us within the first 5 minutes. i've been there and it did creep me out, especially as he kept asking me if i loved him. i didn't, but i felt so pressured to say it, i did and i didn't mean it at all. but if i didn't say it he would get all upset. i learnt from that and never did it again!
just take things slow and you will find someone soon.
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male
reader, anoms +, writes (12 February 2009):
dude im with you, i thought i was realy getting somwhere with a girl i realy liked recently but when they found out how down to earth i am i dont think they were interested, somthing to do with suspense i think mate, im not a badboy anymore lol.
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