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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: im having girl trouble and i need your help..i have to questions... 1-ok there this girl i really like and we're really close friends and i think she likes me too..but tthe thing is she has a boyfriend and she's always flirting with me and seems to be really in to me...what should i do??? 2-my second question is..why do girls always fall for te bad guys..the airhead,asswhole jerks who treat them like crap. they juss seem to walk pass the nice guys like we're not worth anything.. i mean ino some girls go out with the jerks for popularity.. but im really popular so it wouldn't be a problem.. im nice, i understand and respect them, im smart.. i always, always put a smile on everybody's face( really funny) but yet they still choose the jerks!! why do girls do that??
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (21 January 2009):
 The advice from "Irish49" hits right-on. The young girls are attracted to strength, confidence and that danger factor I mentioned. At least part of the reason is the huge surge of hormones that causes them to want sex. Period. It is totally natural, biologically speaking. Young girls are intended by nature to reproduce, and they tend to be attracted to dominant males, such as the better looking, athletic or muscular types.
But since those guys usually get the most attention, they value each young girl less and thereby treat them like crap. Then it perpetuates and the girls compete for their attention. Still, I think that a "nice guy" can get his share, or better yet score a lasting lover, by being "naughty but nice." If only I had a dollar every time told that I was "different," but my point is that you can gain young lady's attention by gaining (or faking) confidence, strength and a bit of naughtiness. You don't have to be a jerk, just funny and willing. LOL
A
female
reader, MutantKitten  +, writes (21 January 2009):
 1. Confidence. Bad boys OOOZE confidence. It's very attractive. More than this, the badboy's confidence means he actually approaches women, whereas nice guys aren't as straight forward.
2. Appearance. Most of the badboys girls love are physically very attractive (nice build etc.), have cool hair, and also dress very well.
3. Cool. Many women are attracted to Alpha males, and boys are usually strong and independent, which women love. If he's a little dangerous, other people are a little in awe of his distain for rules, which makes him cool (therefore attractive).
Don't worry though. Most girls get burned by these guys, and this is when you step in. Once she realizes that you're supportive and kind, hopefully she'll see you in a different light.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2009): I totally agree with DoubleM! Great answer, by the way. The 'bad boy' has qualities that are almost like an aphrodisiac to many younger females and this phenomenon does happen usually with younger women, ages 16-late 20's. I also view it this way...you really don't want to date a female who goes for the 'bad boy', anyways. Let's call it like it is. Picking someone who is potentially bad for our lives, is a choice...a real bad choice. I believe that when a woman feels good about herself, and she possesses her own self-respect and confidence, she will choose a guy who is good for her and who communicates well, both verbally and non-verbally. She would never allow anyone to devalue her because she knows for a fact, that she deserves a healthy mutual relationship. When she has a bad opinion of herself, a woman will find someone who will perpetuate such a self-image. Most females don't find that inner self, and sense of balance with themselves, until they are well into their late 20's. So take heart, if you are a wonderful, nice fellow..you just may have to bide your time. In the meantime, pick and choose--maybe look at dating the older, more mature female, one, possibly around 25-30 years old. One bright spot about being a great guy, when you are older, you will be the guy a lot of women will want to marry and settle down with you. That could scare you right now at the prospect but it won't in about 10 years. Take heart...your ship will sail in...patience, my dear and she will be a winner!
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A
male
reader, lovelynightmare +, writes (21 January 2009):
 1. Don't fall for it. For all you know, she may tell her boyfriend that you came on to her, and gain a personal enemy. Even with that risk aside, you would be encouraging her cheating and that is low.
2. Let's face it, many of those "bad guys" are pretty buff, smooth, and loaded. The girls who like them only have eyes for sex, wealth, and power, and if you had one of those girls anyway, they would want the same things from you and move on if they weren't satisfied. When you move out of highschool (or search there long enough), you'll eventually find deeper girls with more maturity.
lovelynightmare
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (21 January 2009):
It is because they like the danger. It's kind of a self-destructive urge that is hard to understand, but it tends to go away sometime in their 20s. Unfortunately, this is after many young women have been badly mistreated, often impregnated and trapped into a life with the jerk. I never really figured it all out either, but I became one of the so-called "bad guys" by gaining a reputation as someone who was sexually active at about your age. While nice, I would also get into their britches. In the 1960s that was quite naughty, and thereby "dangerous," but the problem today is that just about everyone apparently fits that image.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2009): i also would like to know this exact question. this guy described me perfect lol weird...
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A
female
reader, YESENiiA16 +, writes (21 January 2009):
 u sould try 2 tlk 2 her tell here how u feel, n c wat she feels 4 u. aparantly she likes u if she has a bf n still flirts wit u...
umm idk dat bt ur rite is bcuz of the popularity. n also bcuz thoes r the only guys that lok good. bt i know 4rm experince dey always hurt u. i have a bf his super cool n nice i love him alot n i know he do 2. he also axd me the same quest as u. bt now i know that the best guys r nt jerks n the best lokn 1s r also nice n cool. no 1 needs a jerck in their life.
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