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female
age
36-40,
*unty_rach
writes:Why are there so many children who want and crave to have a baby?!I find it really disturbing that a 13 year old wants to have a baby. They have no clue about how to look after themselves, let alone a baby. Also why should tax payers pay for their offspring! It's awful children having children. What's gone wrong in education and parenting that these kids want to have sex and babies? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (21 February 2009):
aunty_rach is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyou know what people really should read the questions properly before answering. this is not about teenagers who fall pregnant. it's about teens who crave and want babies at early ages of 13!
it has nothing to do with teens who end up being pregnant and having babies, that's a little different to a 13 year old yearning for a child to replace the love she has not had. read the questions before you send some stupid insulting answer.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2009): A right or a wrong is too interpretative by individual standards. I personally do not think that a teenager wanting a baby is wrong, BUT I would always suggest against it.
Why would it be wrong? A teenager wanting a baby can stem from many things - both positive and negative things. Each person, regardless of his/her/its age is capable of being 'mature'. I quoted that word because the word is now more loosely used.
For example, I see a lot of comments that people should act their age. I despise that saying. What does acting your age mean exactly? Do you expect that every single person on this planet will have the exact same upbringing, environment, interactions and experiences you will have? That is impossible. Therefore, it is impossible to 'act a certain age'.
I know tons of people around my age - 25 to 40 that act like idiots and think like idiots. My gosh, this site is full of idiots in fact. Sure, the chance for a teenager to be more indecisive, less 'mature' and less experienced is much higher, but that doesn't discount older people as being more decisive, more 'mature' and more experienced. In fact, a lot of older people can be more experienced yet be completely and utterly immature and/or indecisive.
I know a woman who made $150k a year, who lived in a nice place bought with her own money, who did lavish trips around the world AND STILL is indecisive on intimate relationships. Let's put it this way: she will NOT make a good mother as she is now.
So going back to 13 to 16 year olds wanting babies. A want is different than actually having. Many of them who want to have don't know any 'better', but you can't say that all of them are like that.
Yes, when you're 20+, you might have more general knowledge on how to do things, but that as well is not accurate. When you're 12 to 18, you may not know as much, but that doesn't mean that person is less mature.
Each person has a set of mentalities that drive them a certain way. We cannot accurately say that ALL 13 year olds cannot take care of a baby, but it is more accurate to say that they shouldn't due to legal issues, health issues, care and living issues. A 16 year old can work and take of the baby, but I wouldn't suggest it because I've seen so many people in person that chose to have a kid in their teens and regret some of it by the time they get to their mid 20's. Reason being is that they could have explored the world a bit before being hindered by such a huge responsibility. Don't get me wrong, those same women love their children very much and have been great moms, at least most of them. The ones that aren't that great, still care for them and try to be the best they can be.
So in short, it all comes down to individual interpretation and capabilities of the person in question.
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female
reader, CeeCeeBaby  +, writes (20 February 2009):
 Seriously Keep That crap to your self. i got pregnant at 16 thank you and i am a mother to one ANGEL of a boy i dont relie on WELFARE thanks i got my own place and a job I AM A SINGLE MOTHER. that is not the case with all of us YOUNG ADULTS. thank you we are not all little inmature children!!!
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female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (20 February 2009):
aunty_rach is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyou no what you are only 15. so your life experience is not that much, so you can't really tell me what's right and wrong.
sorry to hear that you lost your daughter.
but it still is not right for kids to want to have children. having accidents that end up being little miracles is a different matter. but when i hear a 13 year old saying that she wants to have a baby and actually tries to i think that is very disturbing. probably down to bad parenting as well as bad education.
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reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (20 February 2009):
 To Killadavill- hon, I have deep concern for you. Just by reading your post, I can tell you need more schooling-not to be rude here, however, the reason some of us older aunts come off as judgemantal is because we have been in our teens and we are aware of how much wiser and realistic we are than when we were 13, 14, 15. There are far many more lessons we need to learn before we leap into parenthood. I have 2 kids, and am expecting another in April, and at my age (26) I realize there is a whole lot my kids would have gone without if I had them when I was 15. Of course most ladies, especially young ones, get pregnant on "accident", but that just goes to show how very not ready you (or they) are. There is no accidental pregnancies. Every girl that gets pregnant did SOMETHING to get that way, no? An educated lady would know all about condoms, pills, and other means of birth control, just like an educated lady would be aware that the better her life is, the better her childs life will be (which is what a good mother would want for her child). Why, if you don't mind my asking, did your daughter pass last year? I am very sorry for your loss. And why get pregnant so soon afterward? What are your plans? At 15, not many job oppertunities are out there, and of course, with no college education, finding a job that pays well is slim (especially in this economical crisis). I hope the best for you, and your baby, really. I am not being judgemental, just passing my knowlage of being a teen and being a parent-because I have been both.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2009): I have wanted to have a baby since I was fourteen. I don't think there's anything wrong with WANTING it...it's our natural female desire to nurture and care and love a child. When I hear a little kid fall down or a baby start to cry my heart longs to comfort it...it's a natural thing. As for kids actually HAVING babies...I never did. I didn't because my mother taught me better than that. Don't blame the girls...blame the parents and the school systems. I got sex ed two or three times...but one of the schools I went to just told me 'sex ed only teaches you how to get away with it'. Bull crap.
Bottom line: Don't blame the kids for wanting a child.
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reader, killadavill +, writes (20 February 2009):
first of all everyone is entitaled to thoer own opinion...sum girls may have gotten pregnant by accident. I am 15 and I'm pregnant with ma second baby.my daughter died in 08.you say they don't know how to take care of themselves you don't know what they been threw to judge someone just because of their age.thats wrond and I think you need to keep things like that to yourself whoeva u are.
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reader, LilPixie +, writes (19 February 2009):
 good question...
maybe it's because a lot of us don't get the love and affection we need and/or want from our family and friends.
some may even have had a pretty bad childhood and feel that by having their own baby they can make up for the things they missed out on, give that child the life they have always wanted.
maybe some feel it would make them more grown up if they had their own child..
some just need something to love and call their own.
i'm 16 now (17 next week :P ) but it's only been about 2 or 3 years since i too really had the urge to have a baby. i had a hard time at school and felt rejected by my friends at the time and things weren't exactly easy at home either...
though i have to say, a hamster did the trick for me.
and as anon 642 said, i think sex education is a big part of this, during my whole time we only ever had ONE day in year 9 about sex and drugs, and then occasionly a word about it here and there, but that was it.
but i guess theres no right or wrong answer to this, and i'm sure that a lot of those who do want this have their own reason as to why they are so desperate to have a baby at such a young age.
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reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (19 February 2009):
I have always believed that young ladies want babies because they are not feeling enough love at home. These girls think that by having a baby, they will feel loved. The whole logic (which is pretty much non-existing at 13) of actually having to change, feed, hold and compromise their entire lives is not even a thought in their minds. What these girls need are loving parents (2 of them) that can spend a little time directing them in the right direction. Feed them the self esteem they need to become an asset to this planet, and give then the tools they need to achieve that. The problem is, too many parents are clueless as to what is happening in their teenage daughters life, and instead of opening up and having heart-to-heart conversations with them, they let them do what they please, and then complain that their daughters are too out of control. So sad! If you ever actually talk to any of these girls that want to get pregnant, they will tell you, they want to feel loved, and they think they have the love it takes to take care of a baby.-Goes to show, what they are being taught about love is just not right. The best thing we can do (as tax payers who care) is to help these young girls see their potential, and be the guidence they are most likely not getting at home. Seek them out and lend them an ear.
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reader, anon642 +, writes (19 February 2009):
 I completely agree.
The sex education is practically non-existant these days.
I wasn't really taught that much at all and what i was taught wasn't explained that well because i left with more questions than when i went in.
There's so much pressure on children today, throughout my secondary school it was like a game every year..as in the first year you'd just try and get to know people and settle, the second year it was the craze of the first kiss, third year was all about getting touchy feely, fourth year was about getting more intimate and fifth year was all the way! (That was the equivalent of year 11 so aged 15-16)
Of course most people just dive straight in at the third year etc.
Sorry i drifted off there but i totally agree i get so shocked at the amount of clueless children there are that come to this site. More needs to be done in terms of sex education.
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