A
male
age
30-35,
*thz
writes:This is going to be a long one but what I'm saying was suspicion until I saw it with my own eyes. She has changed and has been hideous for which I think the situation that I've mentioned below might be the reason. So here it goes.Hi, my girlfriend and me we have been together now for around 2 years and there has been one thing that seriously turns me mad. She never really lets me see her phone, you know as if she's hiding something there but I trust her so I really don't push it. Although its worth mentioning that she already broke my trust once in the early stages of our relationship. So, what I've recently encountered is that by chance I ended up inside her instagram account and I couldn't resist but check her direct messages. What I had seen that she follows some people (guys) that she really doesn't know and I also talked to her and told her that who were these guys she was following does she really know them? And she replied that yes she knew them, all of them so that was not a problem. As I said that I saw her messages in instagram what I found out that a guy from a different country but an Indian guy was messaging her although she's an Extrovert but their conversation was not like appropriate, She had told him "there was something special about him that she was open towards him". In that conversation she has become overfriendly with him. They've even exchanged numbers and I suspect that they've beem talking over the phone as well. The guy is from ottawa canada he told her that he's going to come to India and she said by herself that they can meet up in India. That guy is a pervert as he was hinting her for sex and she told her that she can be just friends but being honest "Why, is it necessary to talk to a perv like him" I'll keep you guys updated.Also there was another guy they were talking in a pretty friendly way but what the real problem is that the guy asked her if she had a bf and she told her straight away that she was not interested and single. I mean like WTF who am I then? She told him that she had bf with whom she had broken up 2 yrs ago and is her ex-bf. The guy with whom she was in a relationship before me.I really don't understand should I take these as signs of cheating? Should I talk to her about this? Should I wait to see what else could come up? I love her to the core of my heart, we have had sex so many times and I still don't understand how could she do this, why did she have to exchange numbers with a pervert and a complete stranger. HELP!!!
View related questions:
exchanged numbers, her ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Soup1129  +, writes (3 November 2016):
Sounds like you two aren't on the same wavelength. She clearly said she doesn't have a boyfriend and is single. You know you're own threshold, that would be enough for me. She also sounds naive to be having a convo with a man in another country saying she'll meet up with him. She might just like the attention. I mean it wasn't cool that you looked through her phone but you said she was hiding it and you looked and found something. I'd bring up to her what you found and see what she says despite her being a liar and a cheat, yes it is cheating if she really is your gf.
A
female
reader, Mistercatbean  +, writes (2 November 2016):
 I think some signs of your relationship not being entirely open and comfortable are that you are hesitant and unsure as to how to share with her your concerns and also that your girlfriend is hiding her phone from you instead of voicing why. Intimacy can be very important and emotional for someone and I can imagine why it might seem so tough to pull from someone you've shared such a personal experience with. However, further down the road, when rocky and stressful life events, and experiences pop up, intimacy is only but one thread in the web of support you need in order to stay together through anything life throws at you. Other things you need are open communication, honesty, trust; the ability to not be afraid or hesitant to share how you feel or what your worries are with your partner. This is the kind of support you deserve in a relationship, and anything less than this means you may be in a relationship that is draining for you and not with your own happiness (present and future) in mind. I would suggest to please pull away from what is draining you and worrying you as well as weighing you down. take time for yourself and put your own emotional and mental wellbeing first.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2016): "...should I take these as signs of cheating?" Yes."Should I talk to her about this?"No point. She'd only lie and deny and throw the blame back into your face.""Should I wait to see what else could come up?"What further proof do you need? Do you really need to catch her in bed with another guy before you'll be convinced?" "... I still don't understand how could she do this, why did she have to exchange numbers with a pervert and a complete stranger." She thought she could get away with it, and if you became suspicious she could come up with a lame explanation and you'd buy it. She's playing you for a fool. Dump her. And don't be duped by the tears and apologies and promises that are sure to follow, it's all an act.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2016): You have all the evidence you need that your soon to be ex-girlfriend is a liar and a cheat. She has secretly been in contact with other men and denied she has a boyfriend.
She says she doesn't have a boyfriend. Make it so.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2016): Yes this is cheating. It would be a complete deal breaker for me for sure. She probably likes the attention these guys give her and is apathetic to the potential hurt it would cause you, as well as potential danger to her by being in contact with random guys off the Internet. I say leave her. You shouldn't be with anyone who doesn't respect you. Also just because a person sleeps with you iwon't automatically make her loyal to you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (2 November 2016):
 You're unhappy with the way she dresses, who she talks to, you check her phone/instagram, etc. You need to break up with her. It may be coming from a protective place, but it is controlling.
She's naive if she's still talking to someone who's been hinting at sex, but at least she's been clear she doesn't want to cheat. You can't make her less naive, though.
I really think this relationship has reached it's end unless you stop trying to control her and snoop.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2016): How can you accidentally end up in her Instagram account? You have no right to be in any of her accounts or her phone, it's an invasion of privacy and if you keep doing it you're going to end up being dumped anyway.
Nothing you've said that she has done is half a bad as you snooping around. Why should she have
...............................
A
male
reader, Athz +, writes (2 November 2016):
Athz is verified as being by the original poster of the question Also by having sex I don't mean to say that she's bound to stay faithful but that intimacy that we shared, it would probably make a person feel that he/she is doing wrong by exchanging numbers with complete strangers.
...............................
|
