A
female
age
36-40,
*atcher00
writes:I went out with my coworker two years ago. Things didn't work out between us, and we both (especially him) moved on... but lately we'e been flirting a lot again. [Please don't tell me it won't work out because we work together. If he had expressed an interest in getting back with me, I'd have gladly left the company for another job] His start time is 9am and mine is 8.30, so I never see him coming into the building. However, one day last week I was 20 minutes late, which never happens (huge train delay.) So I was walking into the building at 8.50, around the time he arrives. I saw him kiss a girl! Obviously he has a girlfriend!! I'm just in shock because I had no idea he was seeing someone. He never mentions her to me. He'll discuss with me what he did over the weekend, or what his plans are for the upcoming weekend, or his lunch plans, or what he did over the holidays...he even told me that he's going on a ski weekend in a few weeks, but NEVER mentioned a girlfriend. Now I've put it together that he IS seeing someone and "in the next few weeks" is Valentine's Day, so I'm sure he's going with her...but funny how he left that part out. He's had countless opportunnities to tell me he has a girlfriend, and he deliberately omits that detail every time. I don't think he saw me , as he had his eyes closed and was kissing someone when I walked by...so I haven't mentioned it...and as of now, he still hasn't mentioned that she even exists. Nobody seems to know about ther. Wonder how long before he finally acknowledges her? My question is just why does he go out of his way to NOT mention her to me?
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co-worker, flirt, has a girlfriend, kissing Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 February 2013):
 you like this guy way too much.... it's not good for you.
A
female
reader, catcher00 +, writes (6 February 2013):
catcher00 is verified as being by the original poster of the question@so_very_confused -- I don't know how long the kiss was as I didn't linger to watch it lol. I kept my steady walking pace and saw her lean into kiss him , and he leaned forward to meet her lips and I adverted my eyes and walked faster bc he and I used to be the same exact way together and I still long for him and it absolutely killed me to see him be that way with someone else. So again not sure of the duration of the kiss but TRUST me it was passionate. It was the kind of kiss reserved only for someone who you have been intimate with.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 February 2013):
Some folks think that you have to be single to flirt... hence why he has not mentioned her. In addition, he may be grooming you for a little something on the side (if he's a dog) and you knowing he has a gf would put the kibosh on that.
flirting is a sport to me... I'm happily and openly married and talk about my husband all the time.. but I still flirt. Sadly some folks see flirting as a means to an end (getting a date or getting laid) and not a stand alone event like I do.
your opening statement indicates that the renewed flirting has made you think you had a chance to get back with him...
and now you find out he has a gf... how disappointing for you... also how disappointing to find out he's possibly a real dog.... possibly setting up a cheating on his gf scenario.
personally, I would say to him 'hey who was that cute girl I saw you kissing the other day outside of the building?"
also was it a peck goodbye... or a long deep kiss with an embrace.
I wonder if you saw me kiss my daddy goodbye if you would think he was my boyfriend or something.... (daddy looks very young and he liks to kiss me on my lips hello and goodbye)
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (6 February 2013):
It's not uncommon to omit that fact, either because you two have some history or because he wants to keep flirtation a possibility between the two of you.
Don't read too much into it.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (6 February 2013):
 Because if he wants to flirt with you , the mention of a gf would most probably would cramp his style , interfere with the flirting and dampen the enthusiasm of your response. How long do you keep interested and titillated a girl , if you start every your phrase with " My girlfriend said.... "? :)
I think maybe the problem is that you assumed he was single and his renewal of interest meant that he wanted to get back with you. Apparently, this is not the case. He may be flirting to kill time at work, to get an ego boost, to show off with his colleagues, .. or to pave the way, in time, for a little fun on the side ,if he could convince you.
Whatever it is, now you know he is seeing someone, so you also know you'd better keep your wits about you, and even still enjoy the flirtation, if you wish, but without any flight of fancy.
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