A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I don't understand him.My boyfriend has just broken up with me because he needs 'space' as he wants to do his own thing and is not yet ready for a serious relationship. I find this really confusing because it was only yesterday when we was talking about sex; he asked if i wanted to (which i did) but i held back and said i wasn't sure and went on to explain that i wasn't on the pill. We've slept together four times, doing things, but never got as far as sex. He really respected me.He's told me so many times how he really likes me - even when he broke up with me, he told me this! He's introduced me to all of his friends and family, he's took me out many times and everything has just been great. He told me that he thinks i'm so much different to other girls and i was his first girlfriend since he broke up with his fiance about a year ago. He has also told me how he thinks i'm too good for him and that i'm beautiful both inside and out. It just doesn't weigh up! When he broke up with me, he said "i'm probably going to regret this" and i really hope he does! I can't make sense of anything! Ive really fallen for him over recent months, so i've taken the break up badly. I've never told him how much he means to me because i'm the type of person who doesn't express their feelings (it has got me hurt in the past) so he thinks i've taken it alright. I've told him i'm okay about the situation, but i'm really not :(Perhaps a guys perspective would give me some insight into what is going on inside his head?Thank you in advance for any responses.
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male
reader, A Man  +, writes (7 April 2010):
Its difficult for women to understand how men think. Let me try to help. Understand that my advice is purely based on what you told me. If you were inaccurate in your portrayal of events, my advice could be way off.
If he broke up with you right after that sex talk, I'd have to say that might have something to do with it. Maybe he feels to good for you, and by saying no to sex he may have took it as a rejection. Also, it's very frustrating to a guy when the girl gets everything she needs while dating, and they guy doesn't get all he needs. Your "pill" excuse seems kind of lame, you could have used a condom. Maybe he thought you had another reason and just wasn't telling him.
Maybe he feels like he might cheat on you and wanted to end it with you before he hurt you really bad. Just a theory though.
The best thing to do is have an honest discussion. Tell him how you really feel about him. He was making his decision on bad info, bad info that you let him believe. You always need to be open with you boyfriends. I know partners can hurt each other, but by being open and sincere, you can work out your differences.
I would tell him how you feel, and ask for an honest reason why he left you. It might be an embarrassing reason for him, so let him know that you'll be understanding.
Well, hope this helped out, good luck :)
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (7 April 2010):
He's just not ready. No matter how much a guy claims to like you, if he's not ready, he's just not ready. Chances are he was never really over his fiancé, and that's why he wouldn't have sex or anything like that. He's not past his ex, and needs to get over her and the breakup before he can do anything else.
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