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Why can't I meet a guy who likes small breasts?

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Question - (12 October 2009) 26 Answers - (Newest, 30 May 2011)
A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have small breasts, and as it is known, *most* guys like big breasts better. Some like small, but I have yet to meet one of those! Most guys just settle for small chested women. Like Salma Hayek is hot because of her big boobs, but Kate Hudson is hot in spite of her small boobs. Kate Hudson is not generally considered hot because of her small breasts. It's like small breasts aren't inherently hot. They're just a flaw that is overlooked. I'm sure if Salma Hayek had small breasts, she wouldn't be as popular or considered as hot.

Well, so guys like big breasts, and I'm sick and tired that every time I'm in a relationship, no matter how nice the guy is, they always like big breasts better. And even if it doesn't really matter, well, it makes me feel really bad. Not only was I teased in school, but now to date men that give longing stares to huge cleavage and watch "big tit" porn does send a message that I'm physically inadequate. And trust me I haven't met one guy who likes small breasts - usually, even guys who date small chested women later confide in their buddies and tell them they wish the gf was bigger! Imagine telling a guy that "more than a mouthful is wasted". Ouch! How would a guy feel if someone told him something like that!

Of course, the only option is surgery. But then again, most men claim they hate implants and have a lot of judgements against women with implants (aside from that, implants are quite risky). Even if I had a great job done, that looked and felt natural, I'd have to tell the guy I was dating, or the guy that one day I'll marry "hey, these aren't real", and well, most guys think these type of women are vain, insecure, slutty, attention-whores, etc.

I'm just sick and tired of always having to accept that I'm "lesser than..." physically, that whoever I'm dating will always long for big boobs secretly, even if they say it doesn't matter, just knowing that makes me feel like crap! And I just have to grin and bear it. But I'm tired of that. Cleavage is everywhere and I feel so inferior, especially with men's fascination with big breasts. And if they hate fake boobs too, then what are my options? I know this is probably a very dumb question but I'm desperate, I hate feeling like this, so what can I do?

I have never seen a guy rubber neck to check out a small chested woman. I have never seen a guy go "WOW!" just because a girl has small breasts. Yet these are reactions that men have when they see a couple of DDs. I have never seen a guy say "check out her small boobs, they're so hot!". And if you look around in the Internet, it's filled with ads for breats enlargement pills (scams) and posts of insecure women like me who wonder if small breasts really are attractive. You never see big chested women doubt if big breasts are attractive. Sure some get reductions, but usually because of extremely large breasts and discomfort. And men always reply with the same "yes, big breasts are better, but we don't mind small ones". That's what upsets me! I don't want a guy to "not mind" my breasts, I want him to think they're the best, better than some DDs. Most guys don't like it when their busty girlfriends get reductions. You get my drift.

So yes, what can I do? I feel so desperate! :(

View related questions: boobs, breasts, insecure, porn, the internet

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2011):

I have small breasts. Always have had small ones.

Now that I am in my 50's I am noting that men compliment me on their perkiness and preserved nice shape... I've always worn a good support bra despite being as small B almost A cup and this has help them stay in form. Since I have small ones they've sagged very little and I have large nipples and this seems to have made them stay well shaped and intriguing.

I think it is all about the whole package and how a man feels about a woman and women in general. If a man is just 'boob' focused I'd not be interested anyhow. I present to my man as a whole woman, not just titties. He engages me as a full woman. My man admires and loves my 'little tits' as he calls them. It does not bother me at all. He is very affectionate in his attention to me and my small breast so I know he likes them.

My man is a butt grabber, and thigh stroker anyhow and I think he'd be less happy if I did not have 'junk in the trunk' over me having smaller breasts.

Don't get hung up one what you THINK every man wants. Every man is different. When they meet you and see you have smaller breasts they should either be ok with that or keep it moving. No 'mercy' attention please.

I think men who like or worship big breasts should just GET WITH WOMEN WHO HAVE BIG BREASTS. Problem solved.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2010):

Breast size doesn't matter to a lot of guys. True many are shallow and like huge "melons", but any guy who is serious about you will like you for your personality and will love your body. Any girl who can make a guy feel happy just talking to him will not scare him away because her breasts are small. And if all he wants is big breasts, then he is shallow and you should keep looking.

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A female reader, WalkNDiva United States +, writes (31 August 2010):

I recently had a relationship end due to my breasts not being enormous. This hurts some... but then you have to stop and think how silly it is. I dont want someone who is after material things to make them happy.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (10 August 2010):

olderthandirt agony auntNot All men are "into' the larger sized breasts. Some of us out here actually prefer the more natural shaped [almost boyish] girl. It's all about frquency anyway not size or distribution of body mass.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2010):

You have to show them off! When you go out, get dressed up but wear a tight top so that guys know. If you wear loose or otherwise concealing tops, we can't tell and we assume you have medium sized breasts. The other thing is make it obvious that you aren't underage; as a guy who likes women with small breasts, I always worry that I will hit on a woman and then discover that she is still in high school, which would be quite embarrassing.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2009):

I've always loved small breasts - much nicer than big ones - they are more fun, look nicer and from what I have seen smaller breasts seem more sensitive.

My brother always likes large breasts (and he ended up marrying large breasts).

Everyone is different.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2009):

you shouldn't feel lesser than because of your breast size im sure you are a very attractive woman. however, every guy has his own likes and dislikes and women do too. some guys like a girl with a bigger bottom or with blonde hair and so on. we are all unique and special and im sure you'll find a guy who can see that.

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A female reader, PC85 United Kingdom +, writes (9 November 2009):

Hi

I understand how you feel. I also have small breasts but since i have been with my bf i have learned to love them. occasionally i do wish they were bigger but i know how much he loves them. Apparently they are perky and at least they won't sag like bigger breasts do. i know men find big breasts attractive when they are held up in bras but when naked just remember you will look so much hotter because yours aren't round your waist. Learn to love yourself because then someone will love you for all the same reasons. xx

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A male reader, BigKat United States +, writes (9 November 2009):

I guess you could say "we are out there."

If chooseing a girl came down to breast size, i would lean towards the smaller. That said, chooseing a girl doesnt come down to that.

Kind person, confident posture, general hygene, and much more come before breast size.

But when we finally reach the "breast category" ... I may have worded it a little different but, i think the idea behind this is perfect, thank you Illithid,

"Guys rubberneck for large breasts, but these are usually the shallow guys you don't want. Small breasts "ARE (my own edit)" hot, but usually not to the KIND OF GUY that would overtly do a double-take."

Comeing from a straight 21 yr old male.

Finally, If you are looking for answers, do not look for them because what OTHERS think, do it for you.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2009):

What you should do is stop worrying about it. We are all different and that is men as well as women. People's preferences are undoubtedly influenced by what they see while they are growing up, so boys can't be blamed for prefering bustier women if that is what they are confronted with every time they open a newspaper.

But I happen to be a man who prefers a woman with a flatter chest. I don't know why that is, it is just what I have always found more attractive. I read an article once that claimed that people's sexual preference ( I don't think they meant straight or gay, I reckon that is pretty much determined from the day you are born, but just the sort of person you find attractive )is influenced by the images you see when you are aged around seven. And I think that could be true. Because when I was about that age, I didn't see the kind of newspapers that carried those sorts of images of busty women. But what I remember seeing was an advert in one of my Mum's magazines. It was an advert for a health drink or some such thing. The photograph in the advert was a fairly tasteful shot of a nude woman. I remember that I was quite fascinated by this image, probably because I had never seen a nude woman before. And the woman in the photograph had quite small breasts. So maybe that is what influenced my preference for women who look that way. Unfortunately men do seem to have an instinctive inability not to "oggle" at a big cleavage, but I don't think that necesarally means those are the only women we find attractive.

I would like to think that the size of a woman's chest doesn't really impact that much on whether I find her attractive or not, but going on past experiences, I would have to say that I prefer women with smaller breasts, and I am sure there must be a lot of men who feel the same way.

It's not something I care that much about. You don't HAVE to have small breasts for me to think you are nice looking, but it is just the sort of figure I find I am naturally attracted to.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2009):

I must be the only man in the world who loves small breast. I am enthralled with small breast and love the way they look it's actually a bigger turn on to me than big breast which disgust me.

I feel you baby wish we have crossed paths I am sure you would have turned me on!

Peace

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2009):

I can honestly say that big boobs have never done it for me. Sorry to be mean, but I've always noticed that the guys who go for big boobs are guys who need everything to be big and unsubtle because they are not so bright themselves.

There are loads of guys out there who prefer small boobs. If you don't belive be just google as if you were looking for porn with girls with small boobs insead of HUGE. You'll see that there are millions of results. Someone's looking at it?

Look at it this way (i do): Size isn't the most important thing with breasts, shape is. Big boobs are very rarely a nice shape, they are usually stretched and saggy or if they aren't now, they will be soon. Smaller ones are much more likely to be a nice shape. "Perky", if you will ;)

Focus on other features that you can make something of, maybe you have nice legs that yuo can make a little feature of. You will find that the attention that you get is much more polite and worthwhile.

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A female reader, boo22 United Kingdom +, writes (12 October 2009):

boo22 agony auntHi, my friends got an A cup and she's had more guys than most women i know lol

Being sexy isn't about tits!! Its about your attitude,and my friend says she loves her two fried eggs and she wouldn't change anything. I believe her.

Men just like breasts, full stop. Whatever there size or shape. Men don't care as much as you think.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2009):

All breasts are fantastic, but theres something about more petite ones that just feels and looks great. My last gf was 10A, but since then I've... well... done my ABC's and A's are still the sexiest in my opinion.

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (12 October 2009):

rcn agony auntstick with what you've got. you've been with some really shallow people. why do you need to change for them. it a relationship, the body should be second to the person. if you really love who you're with for who they are, their body is perfect because it belongs to the person you love.

the only reason to change anything on you is for sense of self. not to please anyone. if a guy wants the big boobs, he's not the person for you, you don't need to cater to his desire. their are so many guys who aren't into the big bouncy ones. you'll find him and when you do, you'll be grateful that you didn't change, cause he may not have chose you if you had. I know I don't represent all guys, but from my view, I'd rather be with someone who's small and real than big and fake.

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A female reader, xAx United Kingdom +, writes (12 October 2009):

xAx agony auntWow, what you wrote is amazing! You have taken all perspectives ect into account. This is pretty much what goes through every small breasted girl, which includes me! The only difference is that it doesn't bother me much.

I've read this to my boyfriend and he says " the niceness of boobs depend on the person. Like with my girlfriend, if she had big boobs, it would look odd."

Hmmm...???

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2009):

Most men are very shallow in regards to why they like a woman.

Myself, I could care less how large or small a woman's breast are. There's more to her than that.

Anyway, be proud of who you are and what God has given you. I'm sure there is a guy out there, who will appreciate you for the person you are and not for the size of your breast or the lack thereof.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2009):

Most guys are really shallow in regards to why they like women.

I myself, think there is more to a lovely lady than the size of her breast or the shape of her butt and legs.

But that is me.

Anyway, I believe there is a guy out there for you, who won't judge you by the size of your breast or the lack thereof.

Good luck to you.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2009):

I have seen small, perky breasts that are just so hot! Hershey's Kisses that just point at you - you just can't help but want to grab one! Large boobies look good on some girls, small ones on others. They have to go with the body size/shape. I'm sure yours fit you quite nicely.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2009):

I like looking at big ones more than I like feeling them. Exaggerated things go well in the media. They are doing it with guys muscles more too.

I would not hold it against a girl if she did get surgery. I would never push her into it on my account because its not that important to me. But as long as she doesn't go overboard with it and look and feel really fake then I would be fine with it.

Some people say "only shallow women get boob jobs and nosejobs" but I dont think so. Just because you got worked on doesnt mean your automatically high maintinence or stupid. Makeup or teeth whitening or dying or highlighting your hair are not natural. Where do we draw the line? People used to do less of all of it and now its normal.

I dont mean to start talking you into getting surgery that you dont want. I am just saying I understand why you might have thought about surgery. I dont have any lower opinion about people that do it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2009):

Actually I prefer smaller real breasts to those fake stretched out melons you'll see stuffed into a bikini. I find that over sized boobs are pretty gross (Pam Anderson), like the sweaty hulked out body builders with the veins popping out all over. Ugggh.. Who thinks that looks good? Maybe 1% of the population. Usu. big muscles equals small package.

When I date a girl with small breasts I am always nervous about feeling them, because I don't want to cause an uncomfortable situation by pointing out that I noticed they are small.. sound dumb? uh well sorry.

From my perspective after I massage a breast for a few minutes I will begin licking, sucking and nibbling on the nipple anyway. At that point, size doesn't matter. It's not like I can get the whole breast in my mouth or do anything else with it if it is gigantic. Size only matters for appearance, not sex.

My g/f had breast implants, because she wanted more fashion options. But I insisted that they be reasonable in size. She let me pick them out. I nailed the size because she looks proportional and great. She gets the leers from the construction workers, but not for being a freak show. For being proportional.

If you do decide to get them augmented, be sensible.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2009):

EVERYTHING IS IN THE MIND. This is what my doctor said when i complained him about pre mature ejaculation. It took me a looooong time to stop thinking about my duration and when i had stopped thinking about it i cud last longer quite longer. So try thinking about the good things u have,become little mature.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2009):

That is so funny cause I have large breasts and the guy I am dating, hates my breast he says all the time how he wishes that I had a smaller chest. I have actually heard him say that Kate Hudson was hot because she had small breasts. Just hold out you will find a guy that likes you for who you are and not your bra size. I always had the problem that guys only dated me because I had a big chest and they would become uncomfortably fixated on them. Don't you worry. My friend has an A cup and she just wears a padded push up. I wish I had a smaller chest I can never find a cute bra and panty set they think that just because you have a D cup that your butt must be plus size too, it sucks.

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A male reader, Illithid United States +, writes (12 October 2009):

Illithid agony auntGuys rubberneck for large breasts, but these are usually the shallow guys you don't want. Small breasts can still be hot, but usually not to the KIND OF GUY that would overtly do a double-take.

Now, I've been in two serious relationships, both with A-Cup girls, and I loved both of their sets. The second girl in particular had the most amazingly hot breasts and I was utterly in her control whenever they came out to play. No, they weren't huge, but they were firm and smooth skinned and perfectly in proportion with her body. And she knew the power they had over me and was confidant with them.

Then again, I HATE large breasts (at least DD's anyway, bleh). B and C are nice and all, but what matters to me is not the size, it's the feel, and A's feel GREAT. No, they won't turn heads like a car wreck, but when the top comes off, they're what a friend once called "A Good English Handful". Anything too big to fit in a hand is more than I need, or want.

But maybe that's just me? (Straight 25-year-old male)

Also, let me mention this: Those huge ones? They sag... a lot. With age, they turn into droopy and depressing ones. Small = perky for a lot longer, possibly forever if you keep supportive bras. Not to mention the reduced back ache you'll suffer. There is a REASON women (including a friend of mine) get breast REDUCTIONS.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2009):

It's actually just as hard to find clothes. Small breasts mean that you can't fill out most tops, and a lot of tight fitting stuff makes you look like a little boy. And I'm not big on chicken fillets or padded bras, it's just false advertising

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2009):

Huge breasts have a certain amount of novelty value, as do big ones. The women that own them wish they had smaller though. Chances are their men wish the same thing.

I'm not going to go on at length telling you that what you've got is fine, but please believe me when I say it is. All women are beautiful, all breasts are beautiful - both in varying degrees.

Any man who judges you on the size of your breasts isn't worth your time, and believe me when I tell you there are more men who would prefer normal breasts to monster breasts. Think of the pluses - you can go jogging without knocking yourself senseless and clothes are a lot easier to buy.

I'd love to hear the views on this subject of a woman who has big knockers! Anyone?

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