A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Do u think bad boys ever change? What do u class as a bad boy? Im hooked on this man who i have had an on/off relationship with 4 3 years! He always let me down. Put his mates first. Sleep with lots of woman b4 i met him. And continued to when were on breaks! Which was never what i wanted! I just wanted a normal relationship. Hes done drugs in the past drinks alot. He didnt make me feel great that much at all. But when we did have time together it was great i thought there was a connection! He said hed never felt like this and that he loved me! But kept leaving and coming back to me. We never in 3yrs spent a full wk together always 2,3 or 4 days a wk! He always arranged nites out with the lads never asked me if we had plans. He would just pop into conversation that hes going away with the lads no regard 4 how i feel. We would make arrangments to spend the evening together i would wait in all day cancel my plans. And then he would let me down cos i footie match was on and he got drunk and couldnt drive to c me! Which left me really hurt. But after all this i really thought he cared.i am a fool but cant believe how he made me feel that i was going mad and it was my fault. I did everything for him. Cooks special meals. Breakfast in bed. Ran his bath etc. I cant understand why someone wouldnt want someone like me! Its now 6 months since we spilt ive blocked contact with him but i still feel crap! I imagine him grin on his face being with woman or maybe hes met someone. My mind wonders hoping he isnt happy and that maybe he thinks bout me! But why i do this i have no idea. Hes know good 4 me i know this i was so lonely and uphappy! Hes one of these men that seems to fall on his feet whatever happens to him! But i fancied the pants off him and couldnt believe id got to be with someone stunning! And charming.Its as i thought he was too good 4 me. I have low self esteem and being with him made it worst! I just want to beable to move on and forget him it ruins my life how empty and low i feel help please!
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drugs, drunk, move on, self esteem Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2010): I'm married for 15 years to a man whom I'm not attracted to. I have 3 kids and stay in the marraige for them. I've been seeing a bad boy secretly for over 5 years and the RUSH is getting stronger each time we meet, the attraction was intense when we met and is getting even more so as time goes on. I wonder if someone that is "off limits" like me is the kind that tames a bad boy.......he won't stop pursuing me and has been through a few relationships since he's met me. I'm not rushing to give up my marraige because of my kids and home, etc. I can't talk to any of my friends about this....any advise?
A
female
reader, DESTINY 23  +, writes (13 October 2009):
 ummm this is called (sywo)its in most imature men that dont want to grow up. Ive had that type too and the best thing for you to to is tell him when he calls hey im going out call me tomorrow. Tell him the next day and the next. he will get it after a while or make the date with him tell him youll met him there and dont show up . I lik that one best. Another one is to leave a box of condoms next to the bed opened of cousre and open three empty ones on the floor . This will let him know while hes away you had a party yourself.
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A
male
reader, NumberSix +, writes (13 October 2009):
Quick answer: Sometimes they change but 9times / 10 they are just going to go back to being a prick.
Sorry, but that's what I've seen over the years again and again.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2009):
They change when their body wears down. Or if they join the military and get bossed around for a couple of years.
Other than that its extremely unlikely.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (12 October 2009):
I wasted a good year on a guy exactly like that and no, they don't change. Even after I moved he'd still try to come back into my life saying things like, "it's different this time," "I've realized what I lost," "I want to change and be a better person." Of course I didn't believe him and when I opened up a little he backed off completely and I haven't heard from him in 2-months.
The fact of the matter is is that they have a problem with themselves. Either they don't or can't grow up and they just can't have a normal relationship. And I know it wasn't with just me, he tried to date other girls after me and he did the exact same thing. They don't change, and if they ever do it will be a looong time from now. I know our normal womanly tendency is to want to change them or be the one that made them change for the better so we stay stuck on them hoping that maybe this time it will be different--but it never is. He's definitely someone you need to work on getting over because he will not change and he's not worth your thoughts or energy when you can find someone else that isn't relationship-challenged.
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (12 October 2009):
 He is a bad bf. You and hm don't match. End of discussion. Move on and break up. If you don't it will get worse.
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