A
female
age
41-50,
*prout
writes:Hi there. I am a 27 year old healthy, fun, athletic, sincere, hard working, (like to think of myself as) pretty attractive female. I live in Southern California and it seems like every man I meet is a liar, is an addict, is into porn (which I don't approve of), or else is looking for a dumb, bleached blond, blow-up-doll type girl (this is, by far, not me). Am I just in the wrong spot or do I just have terrible luck with my love life?
View related questions:
liar, porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Sprout +, writes (15 July 2008):
Sprout is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all of your feedback. I've been questioning myself if I've set impossible standards, and it's nice to hear other people say you think I can find what I'm looking for eventually. I will continue with patience focusing on what is important to me and paving my career path. In response to LazyGuy, I'm really not the "bad boy type," and the things I need in a man are things that other men I've dated lacked and it hurt me and made me miserable. That's how I know I won't ever take him for granted or look over his shoulder if I am lucky enough to find him. Thanks so much everyone!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): Demanding that he "not be being into porn" is probably a deal-breaker for a lot of guys.
Plenty of guys aren't into it enough to ruin their marriage & life over it. But not prone to watching it AT ALL makes him in a minority of males in the population.
I'm not trying to start a debate about porn. I'm just pointing out the odds here.
And I have found SoCal to be very into bleached blond fake chicks more than some places.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): It is good to know what you want, and yes there are guys out there as you describe, just be patient. Also, make sure you are doing things to meet guys, the UPS man isn't going to be knocking on your door to ask you out.....join outdoor clubs, nature guys are usually very down to earth, non-addict type guys. Do volunteer work, at least you know they are giving guys there...you get the idea. You are young, it will happen.
Don't worry that your standards are too high, they are just to high for the men on this sight.
...............................
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (15 July 2008):
 LOL i love the way lazyguy put that. Very true though.
BUT having said that i will just add, if you have standards you are looking for in a guy, hang on in there! Too many women 'settle' for just anyone beacuse they have low self asteems and are flattered someone actually wants them! Accept that you might have a good while to wait til you cross paths with the type of guy you're looking for, but its inevitable it will happen eventually. Everyone can meet the person they want to meet, its just that people tend you lose patience, very quickly because they cant be single, and 'settle' which then blows their chance of meeting the right person. And there we have the high rate of divorces/broken r.ships.
I'm with you, i have a list, not as long as yours maybe, the porn thing isn't a big deal to me, but after spending 2 yrs with the wrong person, mainly because of family, i am happy as i am now, on my own, concentrating on my life, and in the future, i know i will want to share my life again with someone. Only this time it will be the right one.
C xxxxxx
...............................
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (15 July 2008):
 You want an honest man? That is a first. So if you ask "do these pants make me look fat" he can answer, "no it is the layers of blubber"?
Doubt it. Being honest with women, YEAH RIGHT!
Addict, got to agree although most of us have our vices. Some of us are just lucky that ours is legal.
Porn? Now you are on shaky ground, sure there are men who never use porn. The pope probably but good luck getting him to marry you.
If you are looking for a 27 year old healthy, fun, athletic, sincere, hard working, (in your eyes) pretty attractive male, then they are out there, you just to accept that competition for them is going to be cut-throat.
But if you want a non-lying, non-drinking/smoking, no-porn guy in this day and age, good luck.
Most likely you are just falling for the wrong guys because while you CLAIM to be looking for nice guys it is the bad guys who get your motor running. Be honest, if you actually met a guy that fits your list how soon would it be before you yawned and started looking over his shoulders at the bad boys?
Many a woman asks why there are no nice guys, they never bother to ask if they themselves are nice girls.
Change your hunting grounds to places most likely to have your type. Sadly, I think that might be the morgue. But hey, at least they won't complain about your cold feet ;)
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): Well, from the way you describe yourself. It seems like you value yourself very much. Maybe you're expecting just as much from the guys you meet. Perhaps your standards are set too high. You might want to try to give them a chance and get to know them. There might be much more to them. Anyway, I'm sure you'll meet a guy that's perfect for you. Good Luck!
...............................
A
male
reader, xylplxym +, writes (15 July 2008):
Well it could have to do with where exactly you pick up these men. I can't imagine all of Southern California is void of quality men, so maybe you should go to other places there. Or maybe you are just unlucky for now but either way, don't give up and don't be afraid to try new surroundings.
Oh and good for you, you don't approve of guys who watch porn and you are not a "blow-up-doll type girl". It's kind of a blunt complement but a girl like you is not so common especially where I live and it is very good to hear that you are not like the others.
...............................
|
