A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well I have been on and off with my boyfriend for five years! He has confessed to cheating on me, and Well there has been many times where he has been emotionally abusive, calling me names, even physically! But I would go back to him! Things have started to change a little better. But I still had my trust issues! Lately, since he's gotten a job out of state he has been very distant. Not calling, not returning half the time. He would just text and say he's busy or he can't talk right now. Whenever we do talk, it lasts for only ten minutes or so. Deep down and in my mind I believe he is way more busy and up to something that is no part of good. I believe he's cheating or has someone else. But I won't leave. Why? I really keep getting this urge to leave but why can't I? What is wrong with me? Am I insecure?! My mind is really really trying to force me to go! And I don't think it's me "being in love". I really want to leave but I keep running back to him. Someone please talk to me!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2013): you can leave, believe me you can do it. Good thing is he is away so it will be easy for you to back off. Take one day at a time, NO CONTACT, NO TEXT , NO EMAIL , NO FB. First day will be tough but you will be surprised how easy it will get each day. Avoid being alone for long hours, spend time with friends and family. It's time to move on and if this is really what you want, go for it, you can do it. Don't give him any 2nd chance, don't let him talk you into wait until I see you then we can talk, you know what I mean, be ready he might try to win you back, it will be difficult but it's doable. He says he is busy, well good for him, then don't bother him, breakup with him now not tomorrow. Good luck
A
male
reader, Darrell Goodliffe  +, writes (14 December 2013):
 You do deserve better than this and I have to vigorously disagree with the Op who said you were "stupid" - I doubt very much you are stupid. It's possible you are in love, but not with this guy, but in love with pain. Now the reasons for that could be many and varied. Maybe you do have self esteem issues,maybe you dont. You doubtless are being manipulated but since your obviously not stupid part of you is allowing that manipulation and you have to understand why.
Relationships often provide us with a distorted mirror which allow us to see aspects of ourselves in our partner. It is pretty obvious to me that the reason you cant break away is because that part of yourself which you are failing to acknowledge keeps drawing you back to this guy and until you deal with that, he will probably continue to hold sway over you.
Understanding yourself is the key to this one. Good luck x
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A
female
reader, MissTellAll +, writes (14 December 2013):
 You're running back because you're in a manipulative relationship, and with emotional abuse he's probably convinced you that you deserve the worst kind of treatment. The very first time he crossed the abuse line, you should have left. The first moment he admitted to cheating, you should have left. There are so many moments that you SHOULD HAVE LEFT. The important thing here is, now you actually have the feeling of urgency to leave.Leave him. If you live together, move your things out whenever he isn't around. If you don't, then tell him that it's over and you're done with this lifestyle and then cut off all contact with him. I suggest maybe moving in with someone you trust for a while to avoid him coming after you. Be somewhere he won't see you, you won't see him. Don't try to convince yourself that you need to talk to him for any reason- he doesn't care about you, he wants to mess with you emotions and has been doing so for too long.Tell someone close to you everything he has done. Confide in someone who is strong enough to help you keep away from him. Maybe go to an abuse hotline. Get some therapy.If you can't do these things, then you'll just continue to live in this horrible relationship and who knows how far his behavior will go. Everyone deserves better than this. You deserve better than this.Get help.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (14 December 2013):
 You ask: "... But I won't leave. Why?"
Unfortunately, the "answer" is... because you are stupid.... and are allowing this guy to treat you like dirt.. and you haven't figured out that you DON'T HAVE TO ENDURE some A$$HOLE guy treating you this way....
IF... and WHEN... you DO figure that out.... you will depart from this creature... and will get on to a far better life....
The ONLY issue is: WHEN are you going to get started with this (change, for YOU!!!)?????
Good luck...
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