A
female
age
36-40,
*aintedpink211
writes:i broke up with him around december and to this day i still think of him all the time. i can't get over him. i cry all the time thinking about what we used to be and what i am now. why cant i get over him. he has a new girlfriend and he's happy. so why am i losing myself in casual sex and depressed. he lives four blocks from me so i see his house all the time on my way home. and each time i walk by i pray he'll come out so i could see him one more time. what do i have to do to get over him?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2009): its been 2 years since me and my ex broke up and i still think about him every day, not that i get sad anymore though.. i have a partner for nearly 2 yrs now and that doesnt work so maybe just get away from around there and make heaps of gf's
A
female
reader, betty_black  +, writes (17 June 2009):
 As horrible as breaking up is, its been half a year since it happened, you really must move on. I know its difficult but we all go through it at some point and trust me the minute you start to let go you will realise all the bad pointers of your relationship and how good your life is now hes not in it! Just try avoiding going near his house if you can, and dont give yourself away to men willy nilly, just stay away from them for a while til your back on track. Hes moved on and you have every right to. Maybe write him a letter explaining how you feel but saying goodbye at the same time. You dont even have to post it, it will just clear your mind and be final. Dont listen to songs that remind you of him or anything like that. Hang out with friends, go have a good time! Throw yourself into work. It isnt easy, but times the biggest healer. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Chippy2 +, writes (17 June 2009):
I am going thru the same thing but it has only been two months. From all I have talked to the best thing is to make a list of the good and bad things in the relationship. You may find that cathartic in that my list had many more negatives than positives.
Also, The fact that he he picked up with someone else so quick does not mean he is happy, just because he looks happy. Someone told me that the grass is not greener. What he had with you he will not have with anyone else. But it didnt work out. Somewhere you will see why it wasnt a match.
It takes two to make a relationship work. And even if you were to take the time to figure out what happened it doesnt change anything. You dont want HIM back.
It is the feeling that you had you want back. Please seek out help. I am in therapy and yes it is painful. I was with my guy for over 3 yrs. But all my friends saw he was not good to me. He almost destroyed me.
I know it seems lame to go out with your friends, you just dont feel like there is a life without him. I am there with you - If you want send me a note. we can talk.
Best of luck to you - I know the sick sick feeling you have in your being. I dont think of it as moving on as he did - because whatever falied in the relationship with him he will repeat as he didnt take time he hopped right in again with another woman.
You however have the intelligence to move FORWARD. To think about what you want in a man. BY posting on here you are way ahead of most.
Take care and good luck. Make a list of things you want to experience this summer and in your life. That helps too.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): I was with a guy for four years and he dumped me, I know exactly how you feel but you have to get on with your life. I waited around for three years for him to come back to me and he never did and now I feel like I wasted those years and now as I am in my 30's find it very hard to meet someone. I ended up travelling to Australia for five months and I know its not an option for everyone but you need to do something different with your life, change it for the better, meet new people and stop wishing for him. He has obviously moved on and is not coming back to you. Also find a new route :) Sorry if this sounds harsh but it is from bitter experience
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): I think it's because you have not accepted the reality that he is no longer there for you. My dear, i believe acceptance is one key to getting over him. Do not be so hard on yourself. There's no other person who can help you but yourself only. Go out, get a new hobby, meet new guys. I know it's very difficult. Pretend he doesn't and never existed. Think of the bad things and the reasons why you broke up in the first place. Think..if he was able to get over you, then you can get over him too. Its not the end of the world. Cheer up!!
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A
female
reader, Isabelle Vane +, writes (17 June 2009):
My heart really goes out to you. Breaking up is a horrible thing to go through. However, it's now been six months for you, and you're still grieving, which isn't healthy.
It sounds to me that your problem is outside of this relationship situation. From what you've said, you probably are clinically depressed. This is not your fault, and it's not necessarily due to the relationship breaking down - it's a chemical imbalance in your brain. I would advise you to go see your family doctor and talk about how you are feeling. S/he can give you some medication to help improve your mood, which may work wonders in putting this breakup into perspective.
Now here comes the tough love part: it is up to YOU to get over this. You are responsible for your wellbeing, your life and your future. At the moment you are squandering a huge amount of emotional and mental energy on vain memories of a relationship that didn't work, instead of channelling that energy into activities that would improve your life, and maybe lead to new, and hopefully better, relationships. You don't need me to tell you that this isn't a good use of your time. Stop walking by his house and moping over him. Stop blaming him, or looking jealously at his new life. Get a hold of yourself - because no-one else will. You have one life - and it's your personal responsibility to live it to the max! At the moment, the only person you are punishing is yourself. You've decided to protest by freeze-framing your existence and refusing to reanimate your life. Relationships can't move forward while you're clinging on to them. It's time to let go of his memory and take a grip of your own life before it's too late.
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (17 June 2009):
 you just have to take the pain perhaps organise a get together with your mates go out and have a laugh with them.
that's the only thing you can really do to get over him.
i mean he's moved on now and as you've said he's happy.
so all you can do really is just spend time with your girlfriends going out having a great time!
Hope this helps. x x x x
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