A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:What is wrong with me? I am soo desperate and ready to meet someone and date them etc However, any guys that I meet or seem to want to go out with me, I have no interest in whatsoever. There are a few guys that text me a lot, wanna see me etc but I cannot seem to see them in any other light apart from friendship.The only guy I have ever felt anything for and really wanted to be with messed me around, unfortunately I am still hung up on him and I am desperate to meet someone that makes me feel that way again but after half a year..nothing! Maybe I'm just attracted to good looking heartbreakers and shun the regular nice guys?! Considering I'm so desperate I can't even force myself to settle for just anyone!
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female
reader, sonia_06  +, writes (6 January 2010):
because most men are no good we too good for themi learnt that the hard way whatever i wanted i cant have i was too keen then i played it the other way and they think you aint interested but are clever to make it seem all our fault the answer is they are scum enjoy life by yourself its te only way to go after seeing them all over my friends and at speed dating
A
female
reader, i might be a girl but i can help +, writes (26 February 2008):
 no matter what happens every girl likes a bad boy, but it just knowing when to stop looking for a bad boy and grow up and go for someone more like you. at the moment you say you are desprate never be desprate that always turns guys off you, because you just seem easy, but to some guys your easy prey and they use that to their advantage, and those kind of guys are always the bad boys or the idots that break our hearts.
the way I see it is if you want to find Mr Right stop looking and let them come to you, and when you find someone that might actually like you don't rush in play hard to get e.g. when they ring let the phone ring a couple of times before you answer, when they ask what you are doing you say i better see if im busy first pretend you are looking through your dairy and if you are not busy give him a time you do it when you want to not when he does. Play it cool be yourself have fun, you know the saying you have to kiss loads of frogs to find your prince it might be a long time but it will be worth it in the end.
good luck love nicole
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (26 February 2008):
 Hi,
At least you are still young so you may very well break out of this habit. The habit being in this case an attraction to the bad boys. There are millions like you out there waiting for the next man to come along and break their heart. But you are young , there is still time to break the mold, why don't you try seeing one of these nice guys, hang out with them for a bit and you might just feel some attraction.
I dont envy you, I couldnt imagine only falling for someone who I know is only going to destroy me sometime in the future. One good way is to use your friends/family, ask them for their honest opinion when you start to date someone, if they tell you he's just a clone of your previous then dump him. Your friends will know what you are like, hell we all have a friend who is attracted to the bad boy/girl and you all give us our own heartbreak in a way by seeing you being used by these types.
Maybe counselling is an option?
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (26 February 2008):
 The only guy I have ever felt anything for and really wanted to be with messed me around, unfortunately I am still hung up on him and I am desperate to meet someone that makes me feel that way again ...
2 alarm bells, Still hung up on an ex, bad boys and desperate. All will put a spanner in anyones journey to meet Mr/Mrs Right.
Oh dear, could well be the case that you are attracted to.....the bad guy too!!! There are many complex reasons for why people are attracted to bad boys/girls. Google will have a whole load of them.
Relates book 'Starting again' has a really good section in it, on the 'types' of patterns we keep repeating in terms of the personalities we are attracted to, and some of the reasons why.
C xxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2008): You have probably just answered your own question, maybe you do go for the good looking heartbreakers. The next time you are asked out by a guy that you probably wouldnt look twice at, then go, you could be pleasantly surprise. And remember, dont judge a book by its cover and that can go for people to. The best looking ones dont always make the best partners in life!
take care
xx
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A
male
reader, JustaGuy +, writes (26 February 2008):
Were not all heartbreakers :)
Strange though, the only girl I ever really liked messed me around too. I really want to find someone again but similar too you after half a year, I dont settle for anything, we just have to hold on and wait for them to come along. We cant force it too happen. Just dont go back to the guy that messed with you, there are plenty more in the world!!! X
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A
female
reader, O Connor +, writes (26 February 2008):
 well your still young so no need to be freaking out just yet!! your right not to be settling for someone until something better comes along - its not fair and you could miss someone else while settling. just enjoy going out and meeting new ppl and he'll some along! they always show up wen you least expect it!
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A
female
reader, Lucy2118 +, writes (26 February 2008):
 It's general knownlage that women are attracted to bad boys, but try seeing the guys your meeting in a new light, look at their good points, if they match what your looking for go out again. Spend time with them more. Forget about the other guy, he's a idiot! Don't look for Mr. Right, look for Mr. Right Now, then if he's "the one" the now part will drop away naturally.
Hope this helps.
X
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