A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Maybe a few people can help me out there...So my boyfriend and I have been together for um about 2 1/2 years on and off. We're complete opposites in a lot of ways, I was the young dumb party girl and he's more of the quiet-video game and car type. We're opposite, our looks are opposite but for some reason we came together and fell head over heels for each other.We went through allot. breaking up over the dumbest things mostly because he has a temper and in the past before me I know it has been a problem .. not violent just verbal. Well.. today we got into really bad argument over something completely stupid he's in college going for video production he always asks for my help with things so I helped him out.. me and a few people thought we were out of the way of the cameras shooting the scene for his class but it turns out we weren't and he BLEW up on me about it how I messed up the footage and blah blah blah. Stupid I know.. but he's always mad over little things.He will sit there and tell me all the time when it's just us driving or something how amazing I am and how he thinks it all the time but he never tells me but for all I for him and why i'm still with him to this day after all the BS and how beautiful I am and how lucky he is.He's obviously mentally abusive I just don't understand why we've talked in the past about things but I still don't get it, why can't he just be a calm normal person?I don't know what to do, we break up or fight over little things ridiculous things and somehow he always turns the problem around and it's always my fault but rarely I think it is.. any advice to possibly make it work? I'm on the verge of letting go and saying f*** it although it kills me to do so. I've never felt so insecure and worthless in my life and I was never that type of girl and I have a feeling he likes it that way so he can control me and break me when he pleases.
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male
reader, jm81690  +, writes (3 November 2007):
 He obviously has some anger issues, if he just goes off he probably can't help it, that's just who he is.
But I have to agree with you for feeling fed up with it, any guy who snaps on his girlfriend over something as ridiculous as her ruining his video footage or w/e is a bit of an asshole, no offense.
I'd suggest just telling him straight up that you're not going to stay with him if he doesn't start treating you better, if he cares that should be enough.
A
female
reader, lah mouw +, writes (3 November 2007):
 Wow, your relationship sounds alot like me and my boyfriend. I'd say you need to take some space from each other. To get your head together and to get his head together.
What I came to realize with the the break is. That is basically didn't solve anything... But I thought a lot over the weeks. My boyfriend and I are still working on things. And the key is... that you have to talk... communicate. Don't fight and be like "YOU ARE SO WORTHLESS" and blah blah blah and all the "I hate you stuff" although you are yelling at eachother and getting how you feel out... it's not rational... At All. Now, correct me if I'm wrong but it seems like he's saying some really bad things to make you feel insecure and worthless... of course you love him... you both have been through a lot together and for 2 1/2 years?
You need to rethink this whole relationship...think about if you really want to be with someone who's saying these things.. That's extremely manipulative. I think you need to sit him down and set him straight.. If he wants to be in a relationship... then he cannot continue to do this.
Sorry if this is all wishwashy and confusing.
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A
female
reader, peaches83  +, writes (3 November 2007):
 How much do you know about your boyfriends childhood and past?
Usually a guy that is acting in this manner has had either a difficult childhood where 1) he was brought up to see that women are to be trwat like crap or 2) a man has the power to belittle the woman he is with.
Or he has had a bad relationship where he was reat in that way and feels that if he is nice etc he will be walked all over.
Have you told him how he makes you feel when he is in this crazy phase?
I siggest you tell him and suggest he either books his ideas up and treats you with the respect you deserve or you are walking and when he asks why you have walked its down to him, he drove you to it.
Dont stay in a relationship where yu feel someone is taking over your life.
Good luck and have strength
Peaches
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