A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have just had a really tough year in my marriage. Here is a brief history: My husband walk out after a few months of marriage, devastated I then let my job, started a new life, he asked me back after 4 months, i went back, we then move abroad, i returned home after 3 weeks as i did not feel we got on as i wanted to be back at home, i though moving abroad would help. Anyhow we separted, we have since had a discussion and he wants me to try living in his country (Spain) for a few months to see if i like it, i have told him i will eventually come back to the UK, if i had not agreed to go over our marriage would be over! do you think i have done the correct thing going back to Spain, i have a gut feeling that he will want to stay there and is hoping i will get to like it. I really want to start a family and build a house, but he seems to want to try this, what should i do? Am i being to soft? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (23 January 2008):
 BOTH of you aren't really acting like you are in a Marriage, you are acting like you are in a relationship. eyeswideopen nailed it with the "Wither thou goest, I shall go". You both made vows to love each other through all the possible highs and lows, but both of you just run and throw in the towel every time there is a problem. You need to actually commit yourselves to your marriage, and you definitely need marriage counseling to make this work. Try it BEFORE you change countries. You will have enough on your plate learning a new language and adapting to a new culture without also having marriage problems at home.
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (23 January 2008):
 I agree with eyeswideopen. Couldnt of put it better myself. Or add anymore to that apart from, personally i think the idea of living in Spain is very appealing! But thats just me!
Good luck.
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (23 January 2008):
 "Whither thou goest, I shall go". If you truly loved your husband it wouldn't matter if he lived in Spain or on the moon. It sounds like location is not the major stumbling block in your marriage. I'd get some counseling and see if you guys can get to the crux of the matter. And certainly do not start a family or build a house until you have a solid foundation for both. Good luck, dear.
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