A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a really weird problem with a guy friend of mine. We have been friends for over two years now, and we decided to become friends with benefits a few months ago. We promised each other that we would always stay friends no matter what, since we are so close. We have always liked each other, but I know how incompatible we would be in a relationship, and he totally agrees. Sometimes, he slips when he's drunk, though, and tells me that I am perfect for him, and that he would treat me so well if we were together. I know that I should not have taken a part of this, unless I intended on being in a relationship with him. The only thing is, the chemistry between us is so incredible, sometimes it makes me smile for days on end. Since we decided to take it to the next step, emotions have been flying like crazy. I have never been so amazed by someone. My friends say that they have never seen me so happy before. I love his personality. I completely adore him, as he adores me. At the same time, he makes me feel emotions at the opposite end of the spectrum. I have never had anyone make me so angry, and confused. Sometimes, he says things, and I just think to myself, "wow he is so stupid." I know, it's so mean of me. I'm not usually this mean. I never say it out loud, though.I also find myself to be a bit different because of this situation. I think about him all the time, but not usually in the romantic sense. I also forget plans that I made with friends, because I am so caught up with him. He does the same thing, too. I know this is wrong. I am improving on that aspect.So my question is, how should i interpret this? Why do I feel this way, so up and down with my feelings? And why does he, out of all people, make me feel such extreme feelings? I have had long-term relationships before, but never have I felt so intensely. Do you think this is an unhealthy relationship? What do you feel about the things he says when he is drunk? I know it is so many questions, but I am so confused. Any insight would help me greatly! Please help me out!
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female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (12 June 2008):
 I couldn't agree more with B and T actually.
Your emotions are all over the place as are his, you have been friends for some time and so you know one another very well, so you know the faults to.
So the sex has entered the relationship and right now you are trying each other on for size, so to speak. Don't read anything more into this than that. Let nature take it's course and yes part of being in a relationship is having disagreements or arguments, but the making up also makes us tick and gives us added fruitiness as well.
Just enjoy being with one another and providing you are both not seeing anyone else, who are you hurting, no one. If it doesn't work out so be it but already your friends have seen a change in you and you are happy for days, I think a lot of women would love to be like you right now. Enjoy it, if all of it goes belly up then at least you have had time together and experienced one another.
If however, the relationship blossoms then what a great way for things to go, friends first, then lovers and everything else that goes with a relationship.
The intensity of this relationship is what the excitement element is for you right now so enjoy the ride.
If things get ugly at any point then pull back and take stock but keep talking as you may well just want the friendship if things don't work out.
Don't see the negatives right now just enjoy all of the positives and ride the wave. We only live once so have fun.
Take care.
BFN
Country Woman
A
male
reader, B and T +, writes (12 June 2008):
Sounds like you two are in love. Yup funny old fashion thing. Actually that is exactly what I found love is. First you liked him, then you had sex, the sex is good but not so good it overwhelms you. You aren't seeing him with rose colored glasses, you see his faults; they irritate you but you are also amazed by him. Won't it be wonderful to spend the rest of your life in a realtionship where you 'feel intensely'. Sounds like a perfectly health relationship to me. :)
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