A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together now for a few years and I am afraid his sister-in-law (brothers wife) has never liked me. She is very insecure and feels threatened by me - she will make rude comments towards me and always make it clear how close she is with my boyfriend and how she knows him better than I. My boyfriend and I often talk about getting married in a couple years, it is now that awkward time where I hope a proposal is in the near future. I recently found out from a friend that she commented to her husband saying 'what makes her think they are even getting married'. I am very nervous that she has been talking to my boyfriend and telling him to wait longer before we get engaged, or spreading negativity. Her husband goes along with whatever she says/thinks. I do not know if I should confront her politely, or if I should tell my boyfriend that it bothers me and that I hope he would tell her to stay out of it. I have told him before about things she said and he often makes excuses for her and jumps to her defense.
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female
reader, misfitschik66  +, writes (12 June 2008):
 first of all i really hope nothing is going on between them... i think you should confront her if your boyfriend is defending her so much and i would tell her straight out to stay out of yours and his business it has nothing to do with her and she has to no in anything and AS for you boyfriend if he does not respect that then that is a hint that thier is going to be even more problems in the future with that matter then she will know she can say anything and get away with it
A
female
reader, neonpinkngooey  +, writes (12 June 2008):
 It seems as if she is being overprotective because she cares about your boyfriend, and because she is territorial about the family that she is a part of. I would understand this behavior if she has been with the family for a long time. That doesn't make it right to bully you, though.
I would confront her first. If you were to ask your boyfriend to be a middle man between you two, it would show that you are intimidated by her. That's the last thing you want. Just confront her, politely of course, and let her know that her comments bother you. If she has a problem, perhaps some constructive criticism would help. Also, when you talk to her, establish a common ground, like that you both care about your boyfriend. Ask if she worries that you aren't treating him well. Let her know that you're committed to him, and that you try your hardest to make him happy. If you keep your cool and stay cordial throughout your confrontation, her respect for you would go up a couple notches. Maybe you will also gain more understanding about why she acts the way she does. I hope if works out well for you!
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