A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I mean I read alot of stories on here like this. Why does it matter so much? Are any of these guys virgins themselves? I doubt it. why would it be a surprise if a grown woman isn't a virgin? These days most people don't marry before they're 25. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2012): Does it matter so much? Yes it does.
Because a guy wants to be special in the eyes of his girl and have a relationship that lasts til death does them part. He does not want to be her sloppy 50th that she's settling with and has plans to divorce in 5 years as is the norm these days.
Are any of these guys virgins themselves?
I was a 24 year old virgin last year. Girls rejected me constantly and would write me off just for being a virgin with no experience.
So I came here and asked the question why girls don't value a guys virginity and refuse to date a guy who is a virgin, to my amazement all the girls said they couldn't give a hoot about it and said it meant nothing to them and gave me all this you should save it for someone special non sense when in the same sentences they were saying it was worthless and meaningless in their eyes.
With that advice I went a head and lost my virginity to a prostitute because at my age I was already well aware girls labelled a guy like me who was still a virgin a freak.
I've accepted that I'll never have a girlfriend and made my peace with that and accepted that if I ever want to experience love, intimacy and sex again that I'll have to go see a prostitute again simple as that.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2012): Men, as a whole, are much less promiscuous than women typically believe. For every male slut with dozens or hundreds of partners, there must be numerous chaste men just to make the statistics balance out.
And there are more adult male virgins than female ones.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2012): something that has not been touched, not opened , new . wrapping and seal still on it. men look at virginity in a woman the same way. men some times can't stand the thought of another man touching his woman in a sexual way. men place women in a place of value,protection, and respect. the more something is handled , and touched the less value, and less special it has to a person.
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female
reader, person12345  +, writes (22 January 2012):
 Patriarchy, ownership of women's bodies, slut-shaming, that sort of thing. I always like to say men with a double standard about this (I assume you're not talking the ones who think both people should be virgins because of religious reasons) think penises have a reverse midas touch thing going on where the moment a woman comes into contact with one, she is instantly a filthy disgusting slut.
Female virginity is still used as currency and prized and valued in many parts of the world because in many parts of the world women are still considered property. Think it doesn't exist in the wealthier parts of the world? There are still virginity balls where daughters promise their fathers that they will save themselves for marriage. Why? Because essentially, when women are thought of as property, until she is married she belongs to her father and is a higher value commodity as a virgin.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2012): I agree OP and yeah chances are the guy himself is not a virgin, now that really annoys me. Fair enough I can understand a man not wanting a woman that has been with lots of guys casually, or if it was against their religion and both of them had strong religious beliefs, or wanting to wait until they are married.
What does bug me is those guys that don't want to wait until marriage, are not virgins themselves but expect the woman to be a virgin.... until she meets HIM of course! This is a bit unrealistic in my opinion and says the guy has ego issues, as in he has to be HER first.
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female
reader, Shadow Rose +, writes (21 January 2012):
 My boyfriend says he loves that he's going to be my first, because it means he doesn't have to think about other guys touching me, and it means that we both get to experience this together.
(Also, I think it makes him feel good to know that he's that special, that I'm wanting to do something so intimate with him)
We haven't done it yet, of course, but since we do plan on getting married after we move in together, we know it's not that far away.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2012): "To go where no man has gone before"...That's the allure of female virginity to most men. I'm not sure what your take on virginity is, whether you intend on saving it for someone or not, but I'm pretty opinionated about the subject. To me it's a cultural atavism from older societies where woman were traded to broker deals between families and men. How do you determine that the daughter that you give away isn't spoiled goods? You guard and ensure her virginity. These days virginity isn't a social currency like it used to be in most societies, but it tends to take on a moral currency. It's a woman's responsibility to save herself for a socially condoned partner(i.e. marriage). And this standard tends to be enforced by shame. A woman who enjoys sex with various people without feeling badly about it tends to be called a slut. One of my biggest issues with making virginity a moral issue is that it can lead people who've been raped or molested to think that the violence done against them is their own moral failing. And even if they don't think less of themselves, there are places in the world where men would and persecute them for being raped or even desired by other men.I think most men in western countries would agree that it's unreasonable now days to expect that a woman should ensure her future and well being by marrying well...but I think some men also are discomforted by the idea of a woman enjoying sex with other men before them. At heart, it's the idea that they might be compared to other men that scares them. That's why some men prefer virgins.A lot of the men that want virgins are virgins themselves. And they do exist and they would be thrilled to find a virgin like yourself.Case in point, this post below. Perhaps you could give this guy a pep talk?:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/a-male-virgin-and-a-much-younger-and.html
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (21 January 2012):
 Yeah, it always amazes me too. I can't figure out where this people live. I mean, I am no spring chicken, I don't do the club scene or the party scene, I have got nothing to do with hippy communes. My community and social environment is pretty mainstream, middle class , bourgeois and unadventurous. All very tame. And yet, I don't know ONE man who is / ever was bothered by virginity or lack of the same , or who has refused / would refuse a woman because she is not a virgin anymore. Heck, I've met Muslim immigrants that don't sweat at all the virginity issue anymore ! I guess this is part of the charm , mystery and attraction of Dear Cupid :). It shows you that the world is really a tremendously multi - faceted place.
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reader, celtic_tiger  +, writes (21 January 2012):
 From my own experience, being an older virgin has actually been more of a hinderance. Three ex boyfriends have all been freaked out by the fact that I was a virgin over the age of 25. As I see it,it isn't virginity men like. What they want, is someone who is a sex goddess in bed and has experience to please them, but who hasn't been with any other man apart from them. Obviously, that isn't possible, so they prefer women who have only slept with a few partners. It appears actual virgins, are a no-go and something to be avoided as to get to 25 and still be a virgin, there must be something terribly wrong with you. I think this is totally unfair myself, and I have been called various horrible things in the past purely because I decided not to sleep about until I met the right man.
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