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female
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anonymous
writes: i had been with my boyfriend for 5 years and he beat me up recently - he cracked 3 ribs and i had to have stitches above my eye. he also trashed my flat. i got out and have moved into new flat, new number and havent seen him since. why am i still cryin and thinking of him after what he did? i want to hate him!
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female
reader, hannahuk +, writes (6 October 2006):
look,i ve been in the exact same situation!i was with a lad for 6years,since i was 13 to the age of 20,he cheated on me an lyed 2me constantly,an i loved him that much that i used 2run back to him,an he d carry on,then in the last two years of our relationship,he started gettin alot more aggressive an strict with me,he trashed my house on numerous accations,he punched me in my face infront of my 14yr old little sister,he slammed my head of the car door,tryed to stranngle me,all because he d get paranoid an obsessive,even though he did what he wanted.i felt scared an lonley,even my friends wouldnt talk 2me,cause they were mad at me for stayin with him,i just thought he did it cause he cared about me.then one day i found out he d slept with a girl at his work bhind my back,i was devastated,i went to councilled an felt like killing myself.we then finally split up,an it hurt me so much,but i still wanted 2be with him?we ve been split up a year now,an his now going out with the girl from his work that he cheated on me with,i no he cheats on her an treats her exactly how he treated me,he still has the cheek to call me an ask me to meet him for sex.im no with sum1 else and happy.it was hard gettin over him,but was worth it,im so proud of myself,an when you think about it,its mostly because you was used to the routine of being with him,an you wont want ne1 else yet,but keep your self busy,go out with the girls,go to the gym,kelly clarksons album helped me get over him!lol!an u will find sum1 hu will treat u like a queen!hannahxx
A
female
reader, Tine  +, writes (5 October 2006):
 5 years is too long of a time just to throw away after a few weeks. So it may take a long time to get over so all you have to do is be patient. You must obviously know that this guy aint good for you, after all you did the good thing and left him. But maybe you are just hurt because of the way he has reacted. Trashing your flat has obviously had a knock on effect in you and with you cutting all contact from him, you dont speak to him therefore you dont know what he's up to etc. But this is a good thing and i congradulate you in doing so! This is such a hard thing for some people to do, I have known girls who have stayed with their partners who react the same way that your did, they are too scared to leave. So well done, and although it may seem as though you'll never get over this guy and will never find anyone better, you will. There is someone out there for everyone, it may take afew weeks maybe even a few months buthe will come and he will treat you and your surroundings with the respect that you deserve. So stop sitting around thinking about him all the time and get yourself out there!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2006): I know you want to hate him. We would all feel that way. if we endured the horrid abuse, you have. Instead you still feelings of 'love'...right? I think what you need to do is fully realize what you feel for this man is not love but a desperate attachment on your part, dear. This is what is cemented you emotionally, into this destructive relationship with an evil abusive man. So stop thinking that you love him..you are using this as a rationalization for tolerating more of this crap when in fact, you shouldn't. You need to to change how you view yourself in order to gain the courage to move ahead, without him. When you have recovered from all this, you will find a good quality man who has similar attitudes, morals, values and life goals as you have. That is what makes for a balanced, healthy, love relationship. You don't have this with this man who abused you. You never will. He's a broken, sad man who needs intensive counseling to deal with the issues that made him this way, in the first place. Until you develop yourself and become a strong woman this will hurt like hell, for awhile. But it's the first step in a much healthier direction. So pick yourself up, and realize you are now experiencing freedom...the freedom to do something healthy for yourself and learn from this life experience. The choice is up to you
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A
female
reader, sleepysly +, writes (5 October 2006):
 hi there, when you love someone and i mean really love them nothing they do seems wrong, even though it seems you had the courage to move away it dont seem like you really except that he is no good. love takes time to heal. the best thing is to continue as you are the worst thing would be to see him.remember that if he really loved you back he would not have done what he did. stay strong......
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (5 October 2006):
 You are suffering from all the trauma and the sudden changes. Time is your best friend at this point. You will slowly start feeling better. You did the absolutely right thing about your situation. Do not weaken and try to get in touch with the brute, the next time he might do far worse. Hang in there, each day will be easier.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2006): just because he broke your ribs and trashed your flat you heart doesnt understand all the other things you miss about him the warmth, the loving, the emotion, the sex the good times i have been their it doesnt change and nor will he has left a void in your life and time can be the only healer
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